the quiver in my lips betrayed me.

its mad lone bitching in the office now after the meeting last night. i'm stuck with the minutes to do and then the usual multitasking around the desk. it's good to know that its a holiday tomorrow and i can sneak in a few more precious minutes of sleep time. it is going to be another long weekend with the terrors and a nice surprise guest - kama's brother.

from the heavy inertia brought on by what else but procrastination, i've moved on to a long sense of listlessness. i'm guilty of reading too much (if there is such a  thing!) on my kindle. which is fine because kama's been up reading/working ever since internet connection flowed into our cosy crypt.  i watered the plants and generally made domesticity a soothing best friend.

mama's birthday just passed and i've reminded myself to send my prayers soon. why do we delay these feelings or urgency in a blink? i could never figure that out at all. of course more than updating my wishlist on amazon, i have been thinking about the birthday bulls this month. its terror 2 and 3's birthday, plus kama bull who nicely falls in between the terrors. i've bought the boy his nintendo in advance and the lil princess wants another greedy indulge. maybe i'd splurge on the watercolor set for kama later today.

but all that is just fluff in my head. today is dedicated to 'you'.

everyone called you mister. loh
the tone varies from remote respect to bossy irreverence 
i called you uncle loh
you can say i'm your next door asian kid who calls everyone 
with a few grey hairs and a slight stoop in their walk 
respectively - "Aunty - Uncle " 


i was happy when we could double team running errands
you drive with me in the seat beside you
they can't believe; hell!! you can't believe it 
i told you to drive and tell me kampung stories 
of days you worked at the shipyard and 
grew looking for kangkung by day, 
sometimes durians in upper thomson by night 


some days you brew a cup of instant ginseng tea for my migraines
while i work the shredder every end day clearing the office 
you'd help me with the trash
our eyes would meet and mutually agree that our colleagues 
were bitchy spoilt brats who won't even wash their own cup 
you bowed to everyone on sight
i liked to stop you and ask about home while i sip tea
we'd share the table in the pantry and talk 


today you dropped by to say hello! 
we ceased being colleagues for a bit more than we chew 
then you found me
i always felt guilty for not saying goodbye
my happiness that day was teary joy
i was always such an emotional sap 
so we promised to keep in touch 
never by telephone, not by mail
just in person while we each run our errands


before nodding off another goodbye 
i made you promise to see me again
don't say no when they ask you to deliver to mr. labbit here 
you made me laugh when you said you are afraid of what
my boyfriend will think 
not my bossess nor the people around me 
you know i care naught for those
how you made my lips quiver then uncle. loh 


i said 


you are like a father to me
nobody will dare, i faked a glare
and touched your shoulder
you smiled but i saw that few sniffs
my lips quivered and betrayed me 
please take care till next time uncle 
i walked away so that you can't see me cry 

best,
j@e