for those who have tried to get to me via handphone and found that my line is on a holiday, my sincerest apologies. like a very good friend of mine said, no news is good news unless of course its just sad news from a third party kinda of news, i'm just saying that i'm fine. everything is a-okay and i'm riding as ususal. once the line is up and as most are familair with my riding it just goes to say, "gua biasa ah, sekejap timbul lain kali nyer tenggelam."
i'd be doing my usual rounds of catching up soon enough.
solipism - latin ipse = self and solus = alone
1. nothing exists
2. even if someting exists, nothing can be known about it and
3. even if something could be known about it, knowledge about it can't be communicated to others
solipism claims that the universe exists entirely in one's own mind.
reads familiar right? poww and myce, the date for the 9th or was it 10th? :P is still on. i will be calling you soon about it. and i think my dinner and dance is going to be on the 9th so let me get my diary straighten out. to the cellaraid gang (hahahahah!!! means u nanin ;)) i still owe u a graduate's celebration and of course the usual let's laugh and go about being aka 14 years old again :D soon!! you have my baju kurung lar dey!
to ms. vilevilly who can't speak proper english even if its forced up her arse. please watch out as i don't care if they call you 'gangster batu pahat', i'd just swat you the same *withthevilestofinsults* the minute my feelings of 'understanding' erodes. everyday being at work with you is mental torture and its the law of the universe to reap what you sow so i'm just going to be patient and look on. if you ever so much step a milimetre of my non existant tail >) you're gonna get a shitload of abuse. i don't think you ever heard of machikvilliean tactics kan kan kan?! *hehehehe*
selamat tahun baru sumer!
stay sane,
amyemeelea
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
:(
i need to work on my already overdued by 16mins assignment and my body itches all over ni. after this i'm going to take a shower to freshen up and another cup of coffee. i saw a GUY along orchard road today giving/offering tarot readings and i asked if he is going to be there tomorrow. intresting that a guy would want to set up a table just like that right in front of wisma!
i was at the library cramming for my assignment and did you know that the whole 5th floor of taka is now this mega floor of art and craft to buy stuff. i mean art friend was smack right there! it was like being in a mini high class bras basah lerrrr!!! my hands kinda twitched nervously to get everything on the shelves. there were paints *oilwateracryllic*, multicolored threads cap \DMX/ of course and paper twilling!!! it was MY PARADISE siak! i had to fold my arms across my chest :P course its cold ar >) and did a whole tour till it was time to close :(
but tis okay! i plan to go back very, very soon to get my hands on something and will the time away, force myself to relax. i had thought of painting again but couldn't decide on which medium and of course the other craft materials strewn around made me hyperventilate hehe so i think i'd start with crocheting or something you know. that i could literally stuff it into my bag and lug around.
then, i said to myself, tak macho siak bikin crochet or knitting hehe....takper ah at least bley play pretend its rockmanja :D
stay sane,
amyemeelea
i was at the library cramming for my assignment and did you know that the whole 5th floor of taka is now this mega floor of art and craft to buy stuff. i mean art friend was smack right there! it was like being in a mini high class bras basah lerrrr!!! my hands kinda twitched nervously to get everything on the shelves. there were paints *oilwateracryllic*, multicolored threads cap \DMX/ of course and paper twilling!!! it was MY PARADISE siak! i had to fold my arms across my chest :P course its cold ar >) and did a whole tour till it was time to close :(
but tis okay! i plan to go back very, very soon to get my hands on something and will the time away, force myself to relax. i had thought of painting again but couldn't decide on which medium and of course the other craft materials strewn around made me hyperventilate hehe so i think i'd start with crocheting or something you know. that i could literally stuff it into my bag and lug around.
then, i said to myself, tak macho siak bikin crochet or knitting hehe....takper ah at least bley play pretend its rockmanja :D
stay sane,
amyemeelea
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
sometimes ah...
like i read in a book somewhere, we only really understand ourselves through metaphors. you turn here you turn there and someone can come up with a split second metaphor, borrowed or of their own in a spilt second! amazing kan!!
like today i found myself caught up in my own anger that oozed out of my every pore like sick yellow pus. it threatened to choke as i willed it to drown the very person who made me feel so angry!! but as i am the cool babe :P the thoughts lay dormant and i managed to instead swim in the headiness of nicotine induced euphoria albeit just momentarily. my manager aka my godmummy aka 'the' person who has been getting on my very nerves of late finally pulled me aside today to 'talk'.
i think she knew that a little bit more and i would completely switch off and thats going to be the end of what we have painstakingly built these past 10 or so years together. i do understand that she doesn't want to be said as someone who practices favouritism. i mean genreally the -isms of the world are looked upon as bad or undesirable. so i said i understand totally where she was coming from and i have nothing against her. but only because i did make her out as a total biatch at work today :D but hey!! it was only because of her own doing and i merely reiterated what she stood for wot. which is "you! monkey see monkey do ok!" to which i said, "you! no good monkey so i don't want to follow ok! me new and improved monkey." *hehe*
but all the "i have very high expectations of you" in the world could not ease that part of me that painstakingly swallowed the pain of jealousy that raged when i heard another called her "mummy". no one has ever been given that so called priviledge to call her that cept for me and the rest of the guys actually called her other than "mummy" when i'm around for fear of me going berserk. such is HISTORY and even the oldest history could be changed with a sleight of the hand, as part of mine did today :)
stay sane,
amyemeelea
like today i found myself caught up in my own anger that oozed out of my every pore like sick yellow pus. it threatened to choke as i willed it to drown the very person who made me feel so angry!! but as i am the cool babe :P the thoughts lay dormant and i managed to instead swim in the headiness of nicotine induced euphoria albeit just momentarily. my manager aka my godmummy aka 'the' person who has been getting on my very nerves of late finally pulled me aside today to 'talk'.
i think she knew that a little bit more and i would completely switch off and thats going to be the end of what we have painstakingly built these past 10 or so years together. i do understand that she doesn't want to be said as someone who practices favouritism. i mean genreally the -isms of the world are looked upon as bad or undesirable. so i said i understand totally where she was coming from and i have nothing against her. but only because i did make her out as a total biatch at work today :D but hey!! it was only because of her own doing and i merely reiterated what she stood for wot. which is "you! monkey see monkey do ok!" to which i said, "you! no good monkey so i don't want to follow ok! me new and improved monkey." *hehe*
but all the "i have very high expectations of you" in the world could not ease that part of me that painstakingly swallowed the pain of jealousy that raged when i heard another called her "mummy". no one has ever been given that so called priviledge to call her that cept for me and the rest of the guys actually called her other than "mummy" when i'm around for fear of me going berserk. such is HISTORY and even the oldest history could be changed with a sleight of the hand, as part of mine did today :)
stay sane,
amyemeelea
Monday, January 16, 2006
letting off steam...
i would have thought that the new job should have been easy peasy for me but it seems like the minutes feels like hours over time and even longer when its work, work, work and MORE work. its really not so bad because it is ALL just work afterall. we all have lives after work!! we should and those workaholics....pleaseeeeeeeee GO GET A LIFE.
i have this slight problem with a few of the guys at work whom are such workaholics that they are making the rest of us look very very bad. worst still, i make more mistakes when i don't concentrate enough or just plain bored and unhappy so these past few days have been such crap. i can't sing, joke or talk *i'mtooloud* and everything i say and do is being criticised and its sucky!!!!! or maybe i've always taken critisms a little more staright to the heart with the people whom i'm trying to get close to. a little more frustrated when my other efforts are to be made a LOT less than i had intended them to be. i just want to learn, hence the stupid questions and i just want us to lighten up a little hence the little crappy jokes. a bit of song and dance to break the routine but i think i'm just too STUPID to do anything or to understand anything *sigh*
well, tomorrow is going to be a better day and its another round of exams coming my way. i had thought that this little tiny move from my other position at the business center to the reservations would be more fun! since i'd be with a few older 'kakis' but boy was i wrong *again* the understanding that i had thought i have secured right in my little pocket became non-existant and worst!!!!! its soooooo DAMN cold down in the basement office. dehem! those workaholics *&(^*&%^$#$#@$#@%$&%(*^*&* but as we say....nie sumer kira lumrah dunia. mana lu keje pong samer so part bencik-bencik nie sumer setakat nak layan..layan DUA MINIT jer. pastue lu gua kita-kita sumer relek one kornarrrrr sua! or roughly translated to "i can't be bothered to partake in your little party of idiotic plain selfish skirmishes and please talk to the hand when your two minutes is up." *hehehe*
but hell yeah!!! i'd be back with a bounce tomorrow and with my little army of ginseng honey, my obat kuat jamu ;P and it'd all be a breeze again. "makjun kuat sa la saaaa~~~! Preeeeet!!!"
stay sane,
amyemeelea
ps: happy birthday Puteri Isabella, moga harapanmu untuk menjadi seorang anak yang solehah dikabulkan...*kishes*
i have this slight problem with a few of the guys at work whom are such workaholics that they are making the rest of us look very very bad. worst still, i make more mistakes when i don't concentrate enough or just plain bored and unhappy so these past few days have been such crap. i can't sing, joke or talk *i'mtooloud* and everything i say and do is being criticised and its sucky!!!!! or maybe i've always taken critisms a little more staright to the heart with the people whom i'm trying to get close to. a little more frustrated when my other efforts are to be made a LOT less than i had intended them to be. i just want to learn, hence the stupid questions and i just want us to lighten up a little hence the little crappy jokes. a bit of song and dance to break the routine but i think i'm just too STUPID to do anything or to understand anything *sigh*
well, tomorrow is going to be a better day and its another round of exams coming my way. i had thought that this little tiny move from my other position at the business center to the reservations would be more fun! since i'd be with a few older 'kakis' but boy was i wrong *again* the understanding that i had thought i have secured right in my little pocket became non-existant and worst!!!!! its soooooo DAMN cold down in the basement office. dehem! those workaholics *&(^*&%^$#$#@$#@%$&%(*^*&* but as we say....nie sumer kira lumrah dunia. mana lu keje pong samer so part bencik-bencik nie sumer setakat nak layan..layan DUA MINIT jer. pastue lu gua kita-kita sumer relek one kornarrrrr sua! or roughly translated to "i can't be bothered to partake in your little party of idiotic plain selfish skirmishes and please talk to the hand when your two minutes is up." *hehehe*
but hell yeah!!! i'd be back with a bounce tomorrow and with my little army of ginseng honey, my obat kuat jamu ;P and it'd all be a breeze again. "makjun kuat sa la saaaa~~~! Preeeeet!!!"
stay sane,
amyemeelea
ps: happy birthday Puteri Isabella, moga harapanmu untuk menjadi seorang anak yang solehah dikabulkan...*kishes*
Monday, January 09, 2006
finally here in woodlalaland..and back from my first overtime stint nie..
i dunno wot happened to an updated blog entry of mine but my guess is that its somewhere floating in here. i needed the money so worked my very first overtime stint today and for a total of nine hours. i endured the data entry and filing i had to do. it was really nothing compared to what you must go through :) but today i feel better knowing that my efforts are going to be paid off even if not handsomely it will definately help ease a wee bit of my worries. i know its very late but i drank too much coffee today in hopes to stay alert and awake. alas i wasn't fast enough to pick up the simplest things and ended up learning very little *orsoithinkmyslef* but i am definately going to try even harder at work and at home. i am going to gather all the strength and patience to see my immediate goals come true. i lost my journal!!!! silly me went around showing the guys baby pictures lah! >( so serve me right. i must learn to take things easy so that i won't miss the finer details.
personally, there's so much i miss :( espescially, my bonsai plant that i accidentally left at the last pad!!!
its was a long weekend for many, the last new year but a very long tiring one for me. i am finally here and more or less settled at my bros place. everything worked out fine even if i didn't get to do up my room as how i had envisioned it to be but it'll make do. we finished moving only last monday and bless everyone who helped me with the move :)
i am only left with my books to unpack and when my bro saw what i did to the room a wee bit just now he went, "*sniggers* wow! look at my sister's room...it looks like a small house!". and it does look and feel like a small house in a flat hehe. it made my day and the thought of bunking in with my bro and wifey much more palatable :P *ithinktoomuch* but all in all i think the both of em are just great and big hearted to help me with my decisions to change courses yet again. i have hot showers every morning yeay! no more waking up to boil water yeay yeay yeay!!! and its pretty cosy my room. it has an aircon unit but my bro and wifey keeps asking me about why i don't use the fan instead :P i hate the cold too, i have always thought myself to be cold blooded and now i just sleep with the windows open.
i hope i see this on the blog! if not, i'm not so sure when i'd be able to gather my thoughts this clearly again hehe....
salam eidul adha to everyone *asmentionedonthelastupdatedentry*
stay sane,
amyemeelea
personally, there's so much i miss :( espescially, my bonsai plant that i accidentally left at the last pad!!!
its was a long weekend for many, the last new year but a very long tiring one for me. i am finally here and more or less settled at my bros place. everything worked out fine even if i didn't get to do up my room as how i had envisioned it to be but it'll make do. we finished moving only last monday and bless everyone who helped me with the move :)
i am only left with my books to unpack and when my bro saw what i did to the room a wee bit just now he went, "*sniggers* wow! look at my sister's room...it looks like a small house!". and it does look and feel like a small house in a flat hehe. it made my day and the thought of bunking in with my bro and wifey much more palatable :P *ithinktoomuch* but all in all i think the both of em are just great and big hearted to help me with my decisions to change courses yet again. i have hot showers every morning yeay! no more waking up to boil water yeay yeay yeay!!! and its pretty cosy my room. it has an aircon unit but my bro and wifey keeps asking me about why i don't use the fan instead :P i hate the cold too, i have always thought myself to be cold blooded and now i just sleep with the windows open.
i hope i see this on the blog! if not, i'm not so sure when i'd be able to gather my thoughts this clearly again hehe....
salam eidul adha to everyone *asmentionedonthelastupdatedentry*
stay sane,
amyemeelea
minah/mat feeling-feeling da takde value...
often we do not even know how to even label our feelings but yet when a moment strikes we instinctively know something is telling us something. yet we all *usually* choose to ignore. prefering instead the mass method of sit and wait and think it through.....
many would call it 'being patient'....letting things set and waiting for the right time to act, for someone, something to act on our behalf. situation demands it? society demands it? who set this rule for patience to be mean 'wait n see', holding it in? i think its all subjective *then whatisnotsubjective?* :P
who likes a mat feeling-feeling or a minah feeling-feeling? or how would you rate someone (personally) when he/she has been labelled 'feeling-feeling', too emotional or even often said to think with the heart? i'm sure a majority will vote and go with 'balance'. extremism is not tolerated but yet i feel that many of us still yet have a good grasp of what 'balance' is all about. again, the reason 'subjective'! *gerams* why do we view feelings and emotions negatively and how do we learn to trust our own intuition?
i want to equate feelings with intuition. why? because isn't it intution that tells you not to call that someone because 'something' tells you that your call is going to end up making you even sadder, guiltier *adetakehk?*, angrier, madder but not any lovelier? :D so you end up not making that call even when you want to. even when you think the person might be missing you, or wondering why you didn't call dan macam-macam lagik lar.
so ada value ker tidak nie mat/minah feeling-feeling ehk?
all is well though. maybe it is this lovely rainy weather that is making me sappy :P more senti-mentel or just plain feeling giler ah! so nice to be cuddling up and breathing in steamy meamy hot air rising hehe...another rest day *itsapublicholidaythistuesday!!!* and i will have to work on my study plan and my essays VERY soon *likenow* i have more or less unpacked and settled in my new home in a home. work is good as i have managed to clear much of the filing and already have a good feel of my responsibilities. the void in my heart is filled with peace knowing that i can never be someone i am not and that L.O.V.E is everywhere all around me. may He grant me health and the strength to never look back. be as closer as ever.....
selamat 'berkorban' sumer :) may you have a blessed eidul adha knowing that all is well and that your sacrifices will not go unredeemed.
stay sane,
amyemeelea
many would call it 'being patient'....letting things set and waiting for the right time to act, for someone, something to act on our behalf. situation demands it? society demands it? who set this rule for patience to be mean 'wait n see', holding it in? i think its all subjective *then whatisnotsubjective?* :P
who likes a mat feeling-feeling or a minah feeling-feeling? or how would you rate someone (personally) when he/she has been labelled 'feeling-feeling', too emotional or even often said to think with the heart? i'm sure a majority will vote and go with 'balance'. extremism is not tolerated but yet i feel that many of us still yet have a good grasp of what 'balance' is all about. again, the reason 'subjective'! *gerams* why do we view feelings and emotions negatively and how do we learn to trust our own intuition?
i want to equate feelings with intuition. why? because isn't it intution that tells you not to call that someone because 'something' tells you that your call is going to end up making you even sadder, guiltier *adetakehk?*, angrier, madder but not any lovelier? :D so you end up not making that call even when you want to. even when you think the person might be missing you, or wondering why you didn't call dan macam-macam lagik lar.
so ada value ker tidak nie mat/minah feeling-feeling ehk?
all is well though. maybe it is this lovely rainy weather that is making me sappy :P more senti-mentel or just plain feeling giler ah! so nice to be cuddling up and breathing in steamy meamy hot air rising hehe...another rest day *itsapublicholidaythistuesday!!!* and i will have to work on my study plan and my essays VERY soon *likenow* i have more or less unpacked and settled in my new home in a home. work is good as i have managed to clear much of the filing and already have a good feel of my responsibilities. the void in my heart is filled with peace knowing that i can never be someone i am not and that L.O.V.E is everywhere all around me. may He grant me health and the strength to never look back. be as closer as ever.....
selamat 'berkorban' sumer :) may you have a blessed eidul adha knowing that all is well and that your sacrifices will not go unredeemed.
stay sane,
amyemeelea
Thursday, December 29, 2005
3rd day and counting..
i just finished a bowl of maggisedap noodles *comfortfoodburp* :) and lunch today at work was soOOooo good hehe. we had nasi lemak, fried chicky wings, fried fishcake, omelette, sambal power, spinach soup and the usual fried anchovies, peanuts and last but not least fresh cucumber slices!!! the canteen was unusually pack today and i suspect its because the food is really not bad-bad as usual.
i won't put my hopes too high on liking this job as i wouldn't want to get dissapointed again *referringtoallmylastjobs* as the hotel industry is famous for its 'in-house politics'. can you imagine the director of sales who interviewed me actually asked what i thought of office politics?! and how i would handle such skrimishes. of course i blah-blahed sales-talked my way through hehe but now after just 3 days i remember how so-so very bad the backstabbing, the super bitching and *insertexpletiveshere* can be. the last 3 days also reminded me no matter how much time has flown since i was back to the hotel and now that i am not 17 anymore :P all that DOES not change how my former colleagues remember me. they must be asking why the hell did i choose to come back after all these years and thinking that i am still who i am before *ahem17ahem* doo bi doo bi doo......
but who, what and why would things, people and places WON'T change? i shudder and shiver at the thought of misinterpertations of who, what and why am i now and how i'm going to handle all the raised eyebrows and tempers. still...its a very small teeny weeny problemo, very much depending on HOW i need to just keep on smiling and WHEN to reflect on every bad and good comments *blueeek*
just today i almost threw a fit and went nuts when all of the above started to fly whizz past me and as i took a long drag on my free ciggs, in the last available smoking zone within the hotel, i reminded myself again as to WHY i chose to go back in the first place. i have no time to think of the major cons *thepast* and need to only focus on the future. i hate it when i am put in a spot and automatically second guess myself. but without the occasional 'yer ker aku macam gitu ker' or 'am i really like that' kinda questions, then self realisations will have no opporturnities to surface. hence....no time to think. did all the thinking and now to concentrate on the doing and pushing for consistency!
as they say practice makes perfect and i don't look like a haggard nyonya lah!!!!! >( i have to put bun up my hair you see and i wear tinted wire frame ala chegu bedah glasses *whichitookoffaftermuchbitchingfromthemanagers*, apparently i can't wear my type of glasses at front office. i already told them to give me a bit of time and i'll get new glasses but for now i can't see very well but of course the bitching HAD to go on. die siak...everything oso have to buy new!! and get this! the juniors are not allowed to wear any earrings, not even small studs as its a 'priviledge' given only to managers and above *prrrft* aper jer!!!!!! *fumes* add plak we MUST wear only skin colored stockings *minewasgreyishhoneyish* and i had to change to a pair that made my legs look fake and wooden :S it also sucks that i lost too much weight and bear very very close resemblance to olive oyl *gundekpopeyetue* and everyone can't stop themselves from telling me to put on weight thinking that i'm sick... gua biasa ah, step denial. "iiiiiJIIT?!!! too skinny meh? i tot i look very sexy leyy." *openeyesbigBIG* since when was it a crime to lose weight ah?
well, whatever it is! priorities are priorities and no one can bear the heavy burden of responsibilty for another. if you want to you can of course but i do hope i'd never have to pause to think of the consequences when i ever ter-want to carry anything for anyone :P i will try to perfect the 'art' of giving and receiving nasihat or advise *foaaaar* and FOCUS on my new year resolutions *saaaaap*
okay dah...if you find the above familiar its because its a revised my-version of the Girl Guide's promise dah :D
stay sane,
amyemeelea
i won't put my hopes too high on liking this job as i wouldn't want to get dissapointed again *referringtoallmylastjobs* as the hotel industry is famous for its 'in-house politics'. can you imagine the director of sales who interviewed me actually asked what i thought of office politics?! and how i would handle such skrimishes. of course i blah-blahed sales-talked my way through hehe but now after just 3 days i remember how so-so very bad the backstabbing, the super bitching and *insertexpletiveshere* can be. the last 3 days also reminded me no matter how much time has flown since i was back to the hotel and now that i am not 17 anymore :P all that DOES not change how my former colleagues remember me. they must be asking why the hell did i choose to come back after all these years and thinking that i am still who i am before *ahem17ahem* doo bi doo bi doo......
but who, what and why would things, people and places WON'T change? i shudder and shiver at the thought of misinterpertations of who, what and why am i now and how i'm going to handle all the raised eyebrows and tempers. still...its a very small teeny weeny problemo, very much depending on HOW i need to just keep on smiling and WHEN to reflect on every bad and good comments *blueeek*
just today i almost threw a fit and went nuts when all of the above started to fly whizz past me and as i took a long drag on my free ciggs, in the last available smoking zone within the hotel, i reminded myself again as to WHY i chose to go back in the first place. i have no time to think of the major cons *thepast* and need to only focus on the future. i hate it when i am put in a spot and automatically second guess myself. but without the occasional 'yer ker aku macam gitu ker' or 'am i really like that' kinda questions, then self realisations will have no opporturnities to surface. hence....no time to think. did all the thinking and now to concentrate on the doing and pushing for consistency!
as they say practice makes perfect and i don't look like a haggard nyonya lah!!!!! >( i have to put bun up my hair you see and i wear tinted wire frame ala chegu bedah glasses *whichitookoffaftermuchbitchingfromthemanagers*, apparently i can't wear my type of glasses at front office. i already told them to give me a bit of time and i'll get new glasses but for now i can't see very well but of course the bitching HAD to go on. die siak...everything oso have to buy new!! and get this! the juniors are not allowed to wear any earrings, not even small studs as its a 'priviledge' given only to managers and above *prrrft* aper jer!!!!!! *fumes* add plak we MUST wear only skin colored stockings *minewasgreyishhoneyish* and i had to change to a pair that made my legs look fake and wooden :S it also sucks that i lost too much weight and bear very very close resemblance to olive oyl *gundekpopeyetue* and everyone can't stop themselves from telling me to put on weight thinking that i'm sick... gua biasa ah, step denial. "iiiiiJIIT?!!! too skinny meh? i tot i look very sexy leyy." *openeyesbigBIG* since when was it a crime to lose weight ah?
well, whatever it is! priorities are priorities and no one can bear the heavy burden of responsibilty for another. if you want to you can of course but i do hope i'd never have to pause to think of the consequences when i ever ter-want to carry anything for anyone :P i will try to perfect the 'art' of giving and receiving nasihat or advise *foaaaar* and FOCUS on my new year resolutions *saaaaap*
i promise to do my best,
to do my duty to god,
to serve my country and
help other people and
to keep to ALL my promises,
for the good, the bad and et all.
okay dah...if you find the above familiar its because its a revised my-version of the Girl Guide's promise dah :D
stay sane,
amyemeelea
Monday, December 26, 2005
lagu wak mentel..
hehe..i never cease to be amazed everytime i blog read ;) and boy oh boy!!! it made my day it did :D
"Maniac" by Michael Sembello
Just a small town girl on a Saturday night
lookin' for the fight of her life
In the real-time world no one sees her at all
They all say she's crazy
Locking rhythms to the beat of her heart
Changing woman into life
She has danced into the danger zone
When a dancer becomes a dance
It can cut you like a knife
If the gift becomes the fire
On a wire between will and what will be
She's a maniac, maniac on the floor
And she's dancing like she's never danced before
She's a maniac, maniac on the floor
And she's dancing like she's never danced before
On the ice-build iron sanity is a place most never see
It's a hard warm place of mystery
Touch it, but can't hold it
You work all your life for that moment in time
It could come or pass you by
It's a push of the world, but there's always a chance
If the hunger stays the night
There's a cold connective heat,
Struggling, stretching for defeat
Never stopping with her head against the wind
She's a maniac, maniac, I sure know
And she's dancing like she's never danced before
She's a maniac, maniac, I sure know
And she's dancing like she's never danced before
(Solo)
It can cut you like a knife
If the gift becomes the fire
On a wire between will and what will be
She's a maniac, maniac, I sure know
And she's dancing like she's never danced before
(repeats out)
its my first day at work tomorrow yeah!! and as usual i'm already hyperventilating. one of the major reasons i took up this job even when the pay sucks and! this is gonna be my third stint back to the hotel industry is because i'll finally be able to do something that is not gonna take up too much headspace :) being already an old-hand at front desk duties and all. major points also is cos its just beside al falah mosque and 2 bus stops away from night school!!! fave lepak corner is opposite at takashimaya and the library @ orchard there too! *phew* i can't wait for the new year to start...errrm....must make mental note to check islamic calender as well but yes...still sane and happy all the same.
till then,
amyemeelea
"Maniac" by Michael Sembello
Just a small town girl on a Saturday night
lookin' for the fight of her life
In the real-time world no one sees her at all
They all say she's crazy
Locking rhythms to the beat of her heart
Changing woman into life
She has danced into the danger zone
When a dancer becomes a dance
It can cut you like a knife
If the gift becomes the fire
On a wire between will and what will be
She's a maniac, maniac on the floor
And she's dancing like she's never danced before
She's a maniac, maniac on the floor
And she's dancing like she's never danced before
On the ice-build iron sanity is a place most never see
It's a hard warm place of mystery
Touch it, but can't hold it
You work all your life for that moment in time
It could come or pass you by
It's a push of the world, but there's always a chance
If the hunger stays the night
There's a cold connective heat,
Struggling, stretching for defeat
Never stopping with her head against the wind
She's a maniac, maniac, I sure know
And she's dancing like she's never danced before
She's a maniac, maniac, I sure know
And she's dancing like she's never danced before
(Solo)
It can cut you like a knife
If the gift becomes the fire
On a wire between will and what will be
She's a maniac, maniac, I sure know
And she's dancing like she's never danced before
(repeats out)
its my first day at work tomorrow yeah!! and as usual i'm already hyperventilating. one of the major reasons i took up this job even when the pay sucks and! this is gonna be my third stint back to the hotel industry is because i'll finally be able to do something that is not gonna take up too much headspace :) being already an old-hand at front desk duties and all. major points also is cos its just beside al falah mosque and 2 bus stops away from night school!!! fave lepak corner is opposite at takashimaya and the library @ orchard there too! *phew* i can't wait for the new year to start...errrm....must make mental note to check islamic calender as well but yes...still sane and happy all the same.
till then,
amyemeelea
Thursday, December 22, 2005
dancing in my head..
jihn once told me that my blog smells of something that reeks in the institute of mental heath :P another saiko's blog *bluuekkk* but it takes one to know one!
the first signs that you are a mental head is when you start to talk to yourself and sure enough, sometimes it does feel like you are writting/speaking to yourself but what makes a blog different is because a HUGE part of you knows that someone or somebody will chance upon your musings and rants to make or not make sense of it and hence you feel at peace and no longer crazy. aren't we all so full of ourselves then? :) we all laughed in class when the lecturer gave us an example of everybody talking to ourselves now (via wireless headphones) and how many times have i caught myself talking to myself *withoutheadphones* and i had to laugh.
a silly little laugh.....
thank god *mumblesalittleprayerofthanks* finally things kinda of settled. i WILL start on the new job on the 27th Dec and soon thereafter will start moving to my bros place. everything that has happened and will happen are for reasons that i will have no absolute idea what there are for, but loads of self realisations there. it all leads to how happy am i or will i be when circumstances change. be it because of external or internal factors. the only theme that stays constant will be the changes that i will encounter for *hopefully* a long time to come. another year will come to close and i will be another year older *accks!!* and who knows if this new job will be a consolation from the last job i left. time will tell and for whatever that comes to past from tomorrow onwards i will learn to be thankful always and keep sane.
that means awhole lotta juggling! and a huge big basket of hope to carry and the determination to follow through decisions made with my heart, my head, my soul *me!* i feel sad though because there will be some things that i will have to lose through these changes. inevitably because this was how i was lead to believe and since now i know better, no more crying over spilt milk! cos there no split milk to cry over wot ;P
"all feelings are good, because thier purpose is to provide us with information, direction and motivation that will help us create a satisfying life" excerpt from book :) so go ahead, feel bored, angry, guilty, sad, lonely, inadequant, stressed, and scared! fulfill each and every need with meaningful purposes and soon you'll see alls well ends well *tonguetwisted!* don't be afraid to question cos thats the only thing that seperate the boys from men and the gals from the ladies ;) but be afraid who and how you question cos you never know how and whats the answer you gonna get. kalau kena lempang then salah orang ler lu tanya kan? dan kalau dapat jawapan bodoh maknanya orang tue ler yang tak tahu jawapan untok soalan lu bukan? *doesalittledance* :D
be prepared, stay sane!
amyemeelea
the first signs that you are a mental head is when you start to talk to yourself and sure enough, sometimes it does feel like you are writting/speaking to yourself but what makes a blog different is because a HUGE part of you knows that someone or somebody will chance upon your musings and rants to make or not make sense of it and hence you feel at peace and no longer crazy. aren't we all so full of ourselves then? :) we all laughed in class when the lecturer gave us an example of everybody talking to ourselves now (via wireless headphones) and how many times have i caught myself talking to myself *withoutheadphones* and i had to laugh.
a silly little laugh.....
thank god *mumblesalittleprayerofthanks* finally things kinda of settled. i WILL start on the new job on the 27th Dec and soon thereafter will start moving to my bros place. everything that has happened and will happen are for reasons that i will have no absolute idea what there are for, but loads of self realisations there. it all leads to how happy am i or will i be when circumstances change. be it because of external or internal factors. the only theme that stays constant will be the changes that i will encounter for *hopefully* a long time to come. another year will come to close and i will be another year older *accks!!* and who knows if this new job will be a consolation from the last job i left. time will tell and for whatever that comes to past from tomorrow onwards i will learn to be thankful always and keep sane.
that means awhole lotta juggling! and a huge big basket of hope to carry and the determination to follow through decisions made with my heart, my head, my soul *me!* i feel sad though because there will be some things that i will have to lose through these changes. inevitably because this was how i was lead to believe and since now i know better, no more crying over spilt milk! cos there no split milk to cry over wot ;P
"all feelings are good, because thier purpose is to provide us with information, direction and motivation that will help us create a satisfying life" excerpt from book :) so go ahead, feel bored, angry, guilty, sad, lonely, inadequant, stressed, and scared! fulfill each and every need with meaningful purposes and soon you'll see alls well ends well *tonguetwisted!* don't be afraid to question cos thats the only thing that seperate the boys from men and the gals from the ladies ;) but be afraid who and how you question cos you never know how and whats the answer you gonna get. kalau kena lempang then salah orang ler lu tanya kan? dan kalau dapat jawapan bodoh maknanya orang tue ler yang tak tahu jawapan untok soalan lu bukan? *doesalittledance* :D
be prepared, stay sane!
amyemeelea
Sunday, December 11, 2005
all i see is little squares...
eeek!!! mater gua da nak betol nyer potek gaknyer ah!!! *rubrub*
i'm at my bros place in tamps (short form for tampines hehe) and it looks like i'd be blogging from here more often in the future. the 3 terrors are missing and classified 'unofficially' kidnapped from me this weekend :( and i miss them terribly. i did get to speak to all the terrors yesterday before they went missing in action and its very hard not to get all emotional and crack over the phone when all i want to do is touch and hold them and not let go! >( *marahjugaknie*
i have been reading non stop and i keep falling asleep while practising theraphy techniques :P oh well oh well...all in the name of school hehe. bits of more good news! i'm moving again next year to my bro's place in woodlands cos i'm so tired of moving from one place to another and this time i'm not going to move again until its really my own place or someting more permanent so please pray for my brother and his wife :D thank you both of you for welcoming me and giving me the due support ;)
the other piece of good news is that i just got my licence to do relief teaching and will be teaching next year woooooooHOOOOOOO!!! *lompatsukaria* and for those who are skeptical about ME teaching *glaresatimran* just watch me ;)
*rushofeuphoria* welkum to the muda mudi club che poww! and wish you all the best in your germang course. yes yes.. i can totally see the two of us feeling-feeling student over coffee! but warning ah...i'm not sure how teaching and being a student stimultaneously will affect me next year ;D already i'm so stretched but a promise is a promise, designated sunday already pre-booked. so keep me in the loop.
stay sane,
amyemeelea
i'm at my bros place in tamps (short form for tampines hehe) and it looks like i'd be blogging from here more often in the future. the 3 terrors are missing and classified 'unofficially' kidnapped from me this weekend :( and i miss them terribly. i did get to speak to all the terrors yesterday before they went missing in action and its very hard not to get all emotional and crack over the phone when all i want to do is touch and hold them and not let go! >( *marahjugaknie*
i have been reading non stop and i keep falling asleep while practising theraphy techniques :P oh well oh well...all in the name of school hehe. bits of more good news! i'm moving again next year to my bro's place in woodlands cos i'm so tired of moving from one place to another and this time i'm not going to move again until its really my own place or someting more permanent so please pray for my brother and his wife :D thank you both of you for welcoming me and giving me the due support ;)
the other piece of good news is that i just got my licence to do relief teaching and will be teaching next year woooooooHOOOOOOO!!! *lompatsukaria* and for those who are skeptical about ME teaching *glaresatimran* just watch me ;)
*rushofeuphoria* welkum to the muda mudi club che poww! and wish you all the best in your germang course. yes yes.. i can totally see the two of us feeling-feeling student over coffee! but warning ah...i'm not sure how teaching and being a student stimultaneously will affect me next year ;D already i'm so stretched but a promise is a promise, designated sunday already pre-booked. so keep me in the loop.
stay sane,
amyemeelea
Monday, December 05, 2005
everything and then nothing...
it is so hard to make sense of a whole lot of things for me but i try my very best to accomodate, give in and adapt. usually not done willingly and that is very much still a problem for me. it is true when you repress you get depressed and same rings true for saper makan cili dia terasa pedas (literally translated as, u eat cili u feel hot and spicy hehe).
class has been great and i know i flunked my first two essays last semester. didn't make head or tails in class and as usual i tried it my way and used 'feel' to make my way around and then tried to crash a whole lot into 1500 words. i learnt my lesson/s and thank god for second, third and quadruples many many chances the school is willing to give me *atmycostofcourse*...and i will beat this curve ball and many other life threatening curve balls that is gonna be thrown my way. the only way to beat depression in situations of such nature is to never give up but i don't know how many times i have fallen into the 'habit' of feeling defeated and altogether decide to give up. choose the easy way out or the cowards way out as many would like to say. but that is just one perspective and i have heart and believe that not all of us view situations in just one teeny tiny narrow way. a little hope goes a long way and if you don't believe me try injecting it into someone's deemed hopeless case and in return i can bet you might just end up to be his or her bestest friend in the whole wide world. who doesn't like to be understood? who doesn't want to be understood but alas it seems to me that nobody has the time to want to understand or put in the effort to be understood. i still can't figure a better solution other than to communicate and spend more more more time for effective communication.
only this is hard if neither of you speak the same language or share the same goal of wanting to communicate. so i wish for my books to talk to me in a way i can understand! i damn wish for all these authors to just say the same thing :P but now i know how much 'originality in understanding' is worth so here goes me diving with much more enthusiasm into my lists of books and journals and articles to read and jamming all of my understanding into 1500 -understood with citations APA format and of course edited- words with hopes that my 'originality' will do me and all those around me some good if not best.
last but not least..thank you ayong for putting me up as a link and yes *ahem* i do like oysters!!! ;P *droolslurp* and i dig che omniverse. espescially that piece on "how good on jugdements and decisions do we make". with all these tests and conclusions pointing towards progress and deeper understanding into the human psyche, we still firmly believe and go repeat the same mistakes over and over again. i understand the frustration on either fence. the eternal question of to be or NOT to be, as haven't we all been accused of being -insert any negative label here- ever so often. the key is not to lose your marbles and trust in yourself ;)
oh! and i just need to add to this, just think about this...Muhammad Asad author of Islam at Crossroads (pg 92) distinguishes reason and rationalism by saying that, "unlike reason, rationalism does not content itself with registration and control, but jumps into the field of speculation; it is not receptive and detached like pure reason, but extremely subjective and temperamental." i find solace in that and i very often choose to reason than rationalise even at the risk of being labelled as many other than just being reasonable.
otey, so its un-reasonable of me to ask for my books to talk the way i can understand better or just change anything for my own selfish reasons ;P doesn't make sense or not logical right? i'm very sure i'm not the only person who wished to be more understood *yesevenbybooks* but just how did the blind get to read???? just shows but a little amount of effort and a whole lot of love to change the world. a little proding and show of directions is all i ask to understand what makes the world go round. talk to me about the distinct difference and help me apply either to a situation is all it takes to cajol this mule headed me to give it a try. stand by me and not to leave me in the ditches and leave me to die. oh well, let's go beg *buatmukakesian* for others to help me then. i shan't bother those who shan't be bothered and i could't bring myself to bother if you already told me you hate to be bothered, at least i know of One whose always open to being bothered and that's enough for me.
*amygoesinsearchofsomeonewhocouldandwouldmakeherunderstand*
stay sane peeps,
amyemeelea
class has been great and i know i flunked my first two essays last semester. didn't make head or tails in class and as usual i tried it my way and used 'feel' to make my way around and then tried to crash a whole lot into 1500 words. i learnt my lesson/s and thank god for second, third and quadruples many many chances the school is willing to give me *atmycostofcourse*...and i will beat this curve ball and many other life threatening curve balls that is gonna be thrown my way. the only way to beat depression in situations of such nature is to never give up but i don't know how many times i have fallen into the 'habit' of feeling defeated and altogether decide to give up. choose the easy way out or the cowards way out as many would like to say. but that is just one perspective and i have heart and believe that not all of us view situations in just one teeny tiny narrow way. a little hope goes a long way and if you don't believe me try injecting it into someone's deemed hopeless case and in return i can bet you might just end up to be his or her bestest friend in the whole wide world. who doesn't like to be understood? who doesn't want to be understood but alas it seems to me that nobody has the time to want to understand or put in the effort to be understood. i still can't figure a better solution other than to communicate and spend more more more time for effective communication.
only this is hard if neither of you speak the same language or share the same goal of wanting to communicate. so i wish for my books to talk to me in a way i can understand! i damn wish for all these authors to just say the same thing :P but now i know how much 'originality in understanding' is worth so here goes me diving with much more enthusiasm into my lists of books and journals and articles to read and jamming all of my understanding into 1500 -understood with citations APA format and of course edited- words with hopes that my 'originality' will do me and all those around me some good if not best.
last but not least..thank you ayong for putting me up as a link and yes *ahem* i do like oysters!!! ;P *droolslurp* and i dig che omniverse. espescially that piece on "how good on jugdements and decisions do we make". with all these tests and conclusions pointing towards progress and deeper understanding into the human psyche, we still firmly believe and go repeat the same mistakes over and over again. i understand the frustration on either fence. the eternal question of to be or NOT to be, as haven't we all been accused of being -insert any negative label here- ever so often. the key is not to lose your marbles and trust in yourself ;)
oh! and i just need to add to this, just think about this...Muhammad Asad author of Islam at Crossroads (pg 92) distinguishes reason and rationalism by saying that, "unlike reason, rationalism does not content itself with registration and control, but jumps into the field of speculation; it is not receptive and detached like pure reason, but extremely subjective and temperamental." i find solace in that and i very often choose to reason than rationalise even at the risk of being labelled as many other than just being reasonable.
otey, so its un-reasonable of me to ask for my books to talk the way i can understand better or just change anything for my own selfish reasons ;P doesn't make sense or not logical right? i'm very sure i'm not the only person who wished to be more understood *yesevenbybooks* but just how did the blind get to read???? just shows but a little amount of effort and a whole lot of love to change the world. a little proding and show of directions is all i ask to understand what makes the world go round. talk to me about the distinct difference and help me apply either to a situation is all it takes to cajol this mule headed me to give it a try. stand by me and not to leave me in the ditches and leave me to die. oh well, let's go beg *buatmukakesian* for others to help me then. i shan't bother those who shan't be bothered and i could't bring myself to bother if you already told me you hate to be bothered, at least i know of One whose always open to being bothered and that's enough for me.
*amygoesinsearchofsomeonewhocouldandwouldmakeherunderstand*
stay sane peeps,
amyemeelea
Thursday, December 01, 2005
if you're intrested...
one of my elder bro is a certified hypnotheraphist and he's planning to conduct an introductory class (full day) over one of the coming weekends. its free and i'm going to attend :D so whoever is 'game', up and ready to go please drop me an email cause ;) its gonna be a small class so let me know asap!
stay sane,
amyemeelea
stay sane,
amyemeelea
Monday, November 21, 2005
seafood!
how many of you went to the sexpo?!! *ehehehehe*
finally managed to log in as my desktop for work is still on the way, but i doubt i will be online while at work cos the new ofifice uses dial-up as well :( i don't think it helps when every major media is reporting about how workers are using compnay time to do personal errands on the net while on the job *dehem!* i asked myself to put myself in my boss's shoes and will i allow my employee to surf the net for other than work related stuff? and i can't sem to really pin down an answer. maybe because i am in employee mode and still leaning towards my employee mode of thinking :P
anywho...che lynn! thank you for reminding me and its the mussles in lemon butter sauce recipe that i owe you *slurp* its fairly simple and i hope you have a great time trying it out and enjoying it with the hubby :)
you will need:-
mussels - 1 kilo that you boil in salt. pls try to scrub each and everyone of em cos dirt tend to stick and you wouldn't want to get sick after eating em.
butter - 2 tablespoon of any kind of butter
chopped garlic - a tablespoon of that or chop like 2 bulbs of garlic. not to fine not to coarse, depends on how you like your're garlic
nestle cream - 2 cans of it (its sold in a round tin regular sized from any ntuc), i like extra sauce so that i can dip into it with bread
lemon - you will need to scrape the skin off and squeeze the lemon and this depends on your tastebuds. u like it more u squeeze more you like it less lemony then add just a bit ;)
pre mixed oregano or herbs - i always choose mccormicks, again from ntuc or any major supermarket
what to do:-
1. you boil the mussels till they are cooked and set em aside.
2. get a pan to melt the butter and throw in the chopped garlic to fry till fragrant.
3. pour in the cream sauce and stir till you see tiny bubbles. careful not to burn the bottom. oh! do everything on low heat ;)
4. throw in the grated lemon and squeeze the lemon juice
5. taste the sauce and if you like it then get a big wok (kuali lerrr) and throw everything in. turn the heat up and give it a good mix careful not to let any mussels fly as you toss em hehe
and your're done! we did it once upon a time at nyce's place and it tasted ok. practice in the kitchen always helps the food to taste better and remember to cook with love :D as corny as it sounds, i have always felt that it makes the food taste better. don't fret if it didn't turn out okay the first time round cos nothing does turn out the way you want it to be espescially the first time otey...good to eat with any kind of bread and with the fresh garlic and butter and herbs you can mix everything together and make your own garlic butter!
so thats just about it now till something else triggers my brain for another exercise :P miss you guys! espescially poww ;) star lite star brite...hope you forgive me for last min changes the other day and jihn....i'm wishing to see you before you leave.
stay sane,
amyemeelea
finally managed to log in as my desktop for work is still on the way, but i doubt i will be online while at work cos the new ofifice uses dial-up as well :( i don't think it helps when every major media is reporting about how workers are using compnay time to do personal errands on the net while on the job *dehem!* i asked myself to put myself in my boss's shoes and will i allow my employee to surf the net for other than work related stuff? and i can't sem to really pin down an answer. maybe because i am in employee mode and still leaning towards my employee mode of thinking :P
anywho...che lynn! thank you for reminding me and its the mussles in lemon butter sauce recipe that i owe you *slurp* its fairly simple and i hope you have a great time trying it out and enjoying it with the hubby :)
you will need:-
mussels - 1 kilo that you boil in salt. pls try to scrub each and everyone of em cos dirt tend to stick and you wouldn't want to get sick after eating em.
butter - 2 tablespoon of any kind of butter
chopped garlic - a tablespoon of that or chop like 2 bulbs of garlic. not to fine not to coarse, depends on how you like your're garlic
nestle cream - 2 cans of it (its sold in a round tin regular sized from any ntuc), i like extra sauce so that i can dip into it with bread
lemon - you will need to scrape the skin off and squeeze the lemon and this depends on your tastebuds. u like it more u squeeze more you like it less lemony then add just a bit ;)
pre mixed oregano or herbs - i always choose mccormicks, again from ntuc or any major supermarket
what to do:-
1. you boil the mussels till they are cooked and set em aside.
2. get a pan to melt the butter and throw in the chopped garlic to fry till fragrant.
3. pour in the cream sauce and stir till you see tiny bubbles. careful not to burn the bottom. oh! do everything on low heat ;)
4. throw in the grated lemon and squeeze the lemon juice
5. taste the sauce and if you like it then get a big wok (kuali lerrr) and throw everything in. turn the heat up and give it a good mix careful not to let any mussels fly as you toss em hehe
and your're done! we did it once upon a time at nyce's place and it tasted ok. practice in the kitchen always helps the food to taste better and remember to cook with love :D as corny as it sounds, i have always felt that it makes the food taste better. don't fret if it didn't turn out okay the first time round cos nothing does turn out the way you want it to be espescially the first time otey...good to eat with any kind of bread and with the fresh garlic and butter and herbs you can mix everything together and make your own garlic butter!
so thats just about it now till something else triggers my brain for another exercise :P miss you guys! espescially poww ;) star lite star brite...hope you forgive me for last min changes the other day and jihn....i'm wishing to see you before you leave.
stay sane,
amyemeelea
Monday, November 14, 2005
salam terlambat...
with high hopes, the holidays must have been a blast for many ;) and if i ever said, did or even assumed of any wrongdoings to many of you, please do accept my humblest apologies. with promise *ifgodwills* not to repeat any of it in the future...selamat hari raya, maaf zahir dan batin.
i managed to finish my over dued assignment and thanks jihn for keeping me fairly awake towards the end of it! the new job is great and finally things are on a platueu and wishing it will lasts for a bit more. head is spinning due to damn migraine attacks *dehem!* and the weekend with terrors was fun and fulfilling. another round of classes coming my way and hopefully promises of new beginnings will fruit.
have good days ahead peeps and stay sane always,
amyemeleea
i managed to finish my over dued assignment and thanks jihn for keeping me fairly awake towards the end of it! the new job is great and finally things are on a platueu and wishing it will lasts for a bit more. head is spinning due to damn migraine attacks *dehem!* and the weekend with terrors was fun and fulfilling. another round of classes coming my way and hopefully promises of new beginnings will fruit.
have good days ahead peeps and stay sane always,
amyemeleea
Monday, October 24, 2005
choosy..
me: eh babe! tomolo i working with you you know *happytired*
koliq toopid: ok....you alone ah? onie for one day?
me: yah lar..wait you want to the pang to the joe wait kenot mah..
koliq toopid: oh yeah ah...so, you want to come 11 or 12?
me: *yeay!* hmmm...ok! i come 11 so go home 8 ah?
koliq toopid: errrmmm...ahhhh...errrmmmm okay wait i call you.
*ring ring*
koliq toopid: amy ah?
me: ah!! ok so??
koliq toopid: eh~ you come at 12 can or not?
me: *blurblankAHA!!* can...ok. so i'll come 12 to 8pm. see you tomorrow *bingitgiler*
i am working through my last days with the company and i've gotten into the 'r.o.d' (run out date) mood. i can't wait to walk out of here and the weird thing is that my sales is getting better. maybe its because i'm happier (to know that i'm blarrdy leaving) and getting in the mood to sell isn't such a torture anymore! *clapclapclap* i'm posted to plaza tomorrow to assist the showroom-in-charge (koliq toopid *snigger*) because another guy broke our two front glass doors last friday. so no one is able to lock or unlock the showroom and working alone is impossible.
the point is, i can't understand why you gave me a choice when i am not entitled to any choices at all?!!! you obviously had to check with another ?!!! before TELLING me to just come and and and *breathes* anyway i hate hate hate it when stuff like above happens ...please do not give me choices when i have NONE to begin with!!!!!! >( >( >( >( what a waste of my time and every second counts tau tau TAU!!!
*readsaboveentryagain*
on the surface we let things like above bother and invade our inner peace and let all hell break loose. we curse and swear and bitch and vent *hurray!forblogging* but if you look below the surface, there's always something even more annoyingly irritating! like when will i will i be famous thingy! or how do we get these parasitic terrorists off our backs from shaming our faith!
:)
che a-HA, if you're reading this blog, i missed you and have always wished you the best, i look forward to the wedding next year ;) meeting you with the future other half was great and che nanin as usual giggly! i wish it was easier for me to be understood but you, che nanin, che lindot and che titot should have surely the 'a-mek dictionary' memorised and ready when we all gather :D this time toksah tunang-tunang lerrr...TROS KAWENG je!! go GO GOOOOOO cellaraid!!!!! hehehehehehe......
stay sane,
amyemeelea
koliq toopid: ok....you alone ah? onie for one day?
me: yah lar..wait you want to the pang to the joe wait kenot mah..
koliq toopid: oh yeah ah...so, you want to come 11 or 12?
me: *yeay!* hmmm...ok! i come 11 so go home 8 ah?
koliq toopid: errrmmm...ahhhh...errrmmmm okay wait i call you.
*ring ring*
koliq toopid: amy ah?
me: ah!! ok so??
koliq toopid: eh~ you come at 12 can or not?
me: *blurblankAHA!!* can...ok. so i'll come 12 to 8pm. see you tomorrow *bingitgiler*
i am working through my last days with the company and i've gotten into the 'r.o.d' (run out date) mood. i can't wait to walk out of here and the weird thing is that my sales is getting better. maybe its because i'm happier (to know that i'm blarrdy leaving) and getting in the mood to sell isn't such a torture anymore! *clapclapclap* i'm posted to plaza tomorrow to assist the showroom-in-charge (koliq toopid *snigger*) because another guy broke our two front glass doors last friday. so no one is able to lock or unlock the showroom and working alone is impossible.
the point is, i can't understand why you gave me a choice when i am not entitled to any choices at all?!!! you obviously had to check with another ?!!! before TELLING me to just come and and and *breathes* anyway i hate hate hate it when stuff like above happens ...please do not give me choices when i have NONE to begin with!!!!!! >( >( >( >( what a waste of my time and every second counts tau tau TAU!!!
*readsaboveentryagain*
on the surface we let things like above bother and invade our inner peace and let all hell break loose. we curse and swear and bitch and vent *hurray!forblogging* but if you look below the surface, there's always something even more annoyingly irritating! like when will i will i be famous thingy! or how do we get these parasitic terrorists off our backs from shaming our faith!
:)
che a-HA, if you're reading this blog, i missed you and have always wished you the best, i look forward to the wedding next year ;) meeting you with the future other half was great and che nanin as usual giggly! i wish it was easier for me to be understood but you, che nanin, che lindot and che titot should have surely the 'a-mek dictionary' memorised and ready when we all gather :D this time toksah tunang-tunang lerrr...TROS KAWENG je!! go GO GOOOOOO cellaraid!!!!! hehehehehehe......
stay sane,
amyemeelea
Monday, October 10, 2005
sevenish perfectionish finish ishk ishk ishk...
for poww ;)
seven things that will scare me:
1. losing my mind
2. ok...death
3. eternal silence
4. ignorance
5. numbness
6. disillusionment
7. vision vs idealism
seven things i like the most:
1. my privacy
2. books and more books
3. reading
4. my harem
5. kids (yes...you big babies appeal to me too :))
6. animals
7. debates
seven most important things in my room:
1. you know who you are :D
2. my whole library
3. sinful instant gratification in any form *mueheheheh*
4. handphone
5. blankie of the moment
6. pen
7. paper
seven random facts about me:
1. talk very loudly
2. burp alot
3. enjoy being domesticated
4. have stagefright haha!
5. will do anything for a laugh \cheapthrills/
6. hate needles
7. used to have chronic insomnia
seven things i can do:
1. read the tarot decently
2. deklamasi sajak (recite poetry lar)
3. read anywhere, everywhere and anything
4. inflict a lot of pain if i really really really want to
5. entertain kids below ages of 7 and have all of them think i'm 7 too
6. cook
7. draw
seven things i can't do:
1. define love logically and coherently
2. pretend interest when you're on my black lists (the 's' is there for a reason)
3. talk rationally most of the time
4. find enough time to do everything on my lists
5. tolerate any holier-than-thou attitudes (espescially if they can't be bothered to practice what the preach)
6. touch my nose with my tongue
7. lick my elbows
seven words i say the most:
1. eh babe or ah minah (they tied at first place)
2. eeeEjit!!
3. wahlau
4. otey
5. shoot
6. "hi this is amy"
7. why ah?!
seven celebrity crushes:
1. jostein gardner
2. jalalludin rumi
3. enid blyton
4. paulo coelho
5. milan kundera
6. fatima mernissi
7. douglas adams
seven people i would love to do this!:
1. dad
2. mum
3. terror 1
4. terror 2
5. terror 3
6. cylernkilla
7. and everybody on my blogger list (okay...so i got greedy)
well...i promised myself to sleep early and wake fresh bright and early so that i can sahur, subuh, revise and leave early to run outstanding errands but just had to catch up bits. nyce called to 'catch up' and suddenly felt like i needed to touch base somehow and now :) my essays are due end this month and i have done nothing but read up tips on how to write in APA style lar, tips on creative academic writing lar, how to improve memory and mind mapping lar but didn't get futher than my squiggly first draft :P but as usual lar....procrastinate...procratstinate *ughh* i left my job last week and looking forward to a whole new beginning somewhere, somehow where i don't need to feel like i'm one of the contestants in survivor or any over exagerated reality show where pettiness abound; hopping mad around me like cute adorable but in actual fact, rabid dangerously fatal furry bunnies. and i really *muchmuchmuch* would like to kill and destroy these bunnies in the most inhumane possible ways. too bad most of the time these rabid fatal furry bunnies usually effectively disguise themselves as teamwork and understanding to my blinded by bootlicks, incompetent and stoooooOOOOOOPID managers in charge.
so...thats that and insyaallah this ramadhan will be best of the bestest time for me and us. it is always trying and challenging in a myriad of ways and may He bless us all with purity and peace of mind, body and soul. oh! and wealth in health!!!
stay sane peeps,
amyemeelea
seven things that will scare me:
1. losing my mind
2. ok...death
3. eternal silence
4. ignorance
5. numbness
6. disillusionment
7. vision vs idealism
seven things i like the most:
1. my privacy
2. books and more books
3. reading
4. my harem
5. kids (yes...you big babies appeal to me too :))
6. animals
7. debates
seven most important things in my room:
1. you know who you are :D
2. my whole library
3. sinful instant gratification in any form *mueheheheh*
4. handphone
5. blankie of the moment
6. pen
7. paper
seven random facts about me:
1. talk very loudly
2. burp alot
3. enjoy being domesticated
4. have stagefright haha!
5. will do anything for a laugh \cheapthrills/
6. hate needles
7. used to have chronic insomnia
seven things i can do:
1. read the tarot decently
2. deklamasi sajak (recite poetry lar)
3. read anywhere, everywhere and anything
4. inflict a lot of pain if i really really really want to
5. entertain kids below ages of 7 and have all of them think i'm 7 too
6. cook
7. draw
seven things i can't do:
1. define love logically and coherently
2. pretend interest when you're on my black lists (the 's' is there for a reason)
3. talk rationally most of the time
4. find enough time to do everything on my lists
5. tolerate any holier-than-thou attitudes (espescially if they can't be bothered to practice what the preach)
6. touch my nose with my tongue
7. lick my elbows
seven words i say the most:
1. eh babe or ah minah (they tied at first place)
2. eeeEjit!!
3. wahlau
4. otey
5. shoot
6. "hi this is amy"
7. why ah?!
seven celebrity crushes:
1. jostein gardner
2. jalalludin rumi
3. enid blyton
4. paulo coelho
5. milan kundera
6. fatima mernissi
7. douglas adams
seven people i would love to do this!:
1. dad
2. mum
3. terror 1
4. terror 2
5. terror 3
6. cylernkilla
7. and everybody on my blogger list (okay...so i got greedy)
well...i promised myself to sleep early and wake fresh bright and early so that i can sahur, subuh, revise and leave early to run outstanding errands but just had to catch up bits. nyce called to 'catch up' and suddenly felt like i needed to touch base somehow and now :) my essays are due end this month and i have done nothing but read up tips on how to write in APA style lar, tips on creative academic writing lar, how to improve memory and mind mapping lar but didn't get futher than my squiggly first draft :P but as usual lar....procrastinate...procratstinate *ughh* i left my job last week and looking forward to a whole new beginning somewhere, somehow where i don't need to feel like i'm one of the contestants in survivor or any over exagerated reality show where pettiness abound; hopping mad around me like cute adorable but in actual fact, rabid dangerously fatal furry bunnies. and i really *muchmuchmuch* would like to kill and destroy these bunnies in the most inhumane possible ways. too bad most of the time these rabid fatal furry bunnies usually effectively disguise themselves as teamwork and understanding to my blinded by bootlicks, incompetent and stoooooOOOOOOPID managers in charge.
so...thats that and insyaallah this ramadhan will be best of the bestest time for me and us. it is always trying and challenging in a myriad of ways and may He bless us all with purity and peace of mind, body and soul. oh! and wealth in health!!!
stay sane peeps,
amyemeelea
Friday, September 30, 2005
fire my imagination...
wouldn't it be great if you could be someone who could fire another's imagination? imagine how sexy it would make you feel when that someone whispered, "you're my fire of imagination". then add, "which will never die".....:P
then imagine the opposite. not being the fire of someone's imagination. it could be equal to having very bad imaginations! you are the fire of thier imagination but imagine yang bukan-bukan! i mean, everytime they think of you they imagine... you're trying to hurt them or break thier heart and somehow it all makes sense even when the reality is just probably as simple as buying cheesecake as a surprise. doesn't it fell sucky? *bleargh* puts a full stop to almost anything for me. must be this very needy side of me. the one that always craves for attention and wish for a little bit of romantic-Ism everyday hehe.
*dehem* i can't really be sure now if i want to be anyone's anything *pout* don't think just do! or don't do till you think enough? its just a subtle distinction between that 2 but how many of us are sensitive enough to spot and feel the difference?
and sometimes i just wish these eyelids will close at will.....
stay sane,
amyemeelea
then imagine the opposite. not being the fire of someone's imagination. it could be equal to having very bad imaginations! you are the fire of thier imagination but imagine yang bukan-bukan! i mean, everytime they think of you they imagine... you're trying to hurt them or break thier heart and somehow it all makes sense even when the reality is just probably as simple as buying cheesecake as a surprise. doesn't it fell sucky? *bleargh* puts a full stop to almost anything for me. must be this very needy side of me. the one that always craves for attention and wish for a little bit of romantic-Ism everyday hehe.
*dehem* i can't really be sure now if i want to be anyone's anything *pout* don't think just do! or don't do till you think enough? its just a subtle distinction between that 2 but how many of us are sensitive enough to spot and feel the difference?
and sometimes i just wish these eyelids will close at will.....
stay sane,
amyemeelea
Thursday, September 29, 2005
school visit...
so i signed up for this school visit to buangkok green medical park or used to be formerly known as woodbridge mental hospital. we were treated to a tour and a short intro talk on the history of the institute and a sexy clinical psychologist asked us why we wanted to join the profession.
the place was HUGE! and i really mean HUGE!! they've recently (march 2005) opened the 'sayang wellness center' and it caters to the rich and crazy hehe. then they showed us slides of long term patients and the wards THEY stay. the stark difference between these two will have to be the amount of beds they have for these classes. the c ward compared to the a ward has a total difference of 46 beds between them. yeap.....its 46 beds between them! my jaws drop literally. so anyway, stats show that we are not only going to have more older people in singapore over the next few years but more people will have tendencies to fall into depression, stress and ultimately go crazy more sooner. and the scary part is that i spied more than half the class smiling! what's so good about those stats?!! ;P but yeah you know, i know and everybody pretends not to know what we all already know.
and i met many intresting new characters in my course of studies! there's a girl of 24 years old and she spent the last 4 years in the army as a combat signaller and quit due to severe depression. then there's the baby of the group, another girl of 18 and a barperson at sebastian's and she hopes to do her masters and practice overseas then later come back to singapore when the integrated resorts get built, up and running (go figure) and then i also had the pleasure of getting to know another guy who recently quit his 3rd year at NUS to pursue psychology in hopes that he can emulate adam khoo (got his millionaire at age 26 teaching neuro linguistic programming) his current idol *phew*
repression is different from regression but both is equally painful. later today i will sit for my first exam *gulP* and i'm trying to put my heart and head together so that i will be able to breathe better. the day so far sucks save for memory specks of intense stimulation and i can't wait to find a solution for my anxiety attacks *breathesintobag*
till then stay sane,
amyemeelea
ps: happy beshday burstday powwsters!!
the place was HUGE! and i really mean HUGE!! they've recently (march 2005) opened the 'sayang wellness center' and it caters to the rich and crazy hehe. then they showed us slides of long term patients and the wards THEY stay. the stark difference between these two will have to be the amount of beds they have for these classes. the c ward compared to the a ward has a total difference of 46 beds between them. yeap.....its 46 beds between them! my jaws drop literally. so anyway, stats show that we are not only going to have more older people in singapore over the next few years but more people will have tendencies to fall into depression, stress and ultimately go crazy more sooner. and the scary part is that i spied more than half the class smiling! what's so good about those stats?!! ;P but yeah you know, i know and everybody pretends not to know what we all already know.
and i met many intresting new characters in my course of studies! there's a girl of 24 years old and she spent the last 4 years in the army as a combat signaller and quit due to severe depression. then there's the baby of the group, another girl of 18 and a barperson at sebastian's and she hopes to do her masters and practice overseas then later come back to singapore when the integrated resorts get built, up and running (go figure) and then i also had the pleasure of getting to know another guy who recently quit his 3rd year at NUS to pursue psychology in hopes that he can emulate adam khoo (got his millionaire at age 26 teaching neuro linguistic programming) his current idol *phew*
repression is different from regression but both is equally painful. later today i will sit for my first exam *gulP* and i'm trying to put my heart and head together so that i will be able to breathe better. the day so far sucks save for memory specks of intense stimulation and i can't wait to find a solution for my anxiety attacks *breathesintobag*
till then stay sane,
amyemeelea
ps: happy beshday burstday powwsters!!
Monday, September 26, 2005
lessons..
i dropped the kids off last night but it wasnt a pleasant ending for my hansome prince. he was his pouty, sulky and helplessly drowned in selfless egocentric trip; all of it at four and half years old. i just had to smack his left hand when he used it to give terror 1 a good sock in her right eye. maybe i hit too hard? :s anyway....i felt very, very guilty and my heart cracked open a lil bit more to bleed unprofessed love, all too oblivious for my handsome prince to see hence understand that mama was just being 'mama' :) true....i don't get to see you everyday unlike most mamas and yes....i think i am pretty eccentric but FUNNY too!!! if you choose to remember all those happy family scenes we still have. the kisses, the cuddles, the drawing-on-pne-wall only policy and our nightly ritual of doas and stories. my only wish is you'd remember me simply as mama amy :) and to continue to 'hope' for me till you breath your last breathe. how could i ask for anything more when He has given me everything i could and would wish for when i already have YOU. and this is for the other two princesses too when i say, "if there was such a thing as unconditional love at this time of unthinkable and trying times ...i wish for all of you to remember and SING! Abang Barney's gay (as in happy) love song (yes...you know the one) and think of US".
stay sane,
amyemeelea
"i love you, you love me
we are happy family
with a great big hug
and a kiss from me to you
i love you, you love me
TOO!"
stay sane,
amyemeelea
Saturday, September 24, 2005
unconditional love?
for someone seeking for balance, the need to give and receive something so extreme is mind boggling. contradicting values...sense of morality depicts a tortured soul never at peace, not at rest..looking for perfection when it is already right here and now under our noses.
been busy at work (got caught surfing again by BIG boss this time!) and school. whatever little time i get to myself i spent it all on making the frayed ends of my poor poor braincells to rest. vitamins b and c is good for you and trying again not to relapse and start smoking again. nope, i haven't totally quit :P but hopefully i'd be able to keep on keeping these itchy fingers from reaching into my purse to buy a pack!
will be back soon to write and share with you guys stuff ;) and finally, just finally i have found my answers to the truth about altruism!!! :D
stay sane,
amyemeelea
been busy at work (got caught surfing again by BIG boss this time!) and school. whatever little time i get to myself i spent it all on making the frayed ends of my poor poor braincells to rest. vitamins b and c is good for you and trying again not to relapse and start smoking again. nope, i haven't totally quit :P but hopefully i'd be able to keep on keeping these itchy fingers from reaching into my purse to buy a pack!
will be back soon to write and share with you guys stuff ;) and finally, just finally i have found my answers to the truth about altruism!!! :D
stay sane,
amyemeelea
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