It is early morning in the office. My boss has gone away for another trip to India and I can’t seem to have a feel of the office today. Everyone is so distant and as usual, the hot topic of the morning is, ‘Why am I late today?’ I love the coffee from Wee’s and at 60 cents for a kopi o kao giler; it packs up my morning with enough caffeine to work the engine till about lunch time. Today, I decided to work on another plan to save the 60 cents which is to buy my own kopi at 0.06 cents *itisacoincidence* and milk the office pantry of its contents for my own selfish needs *hehe* but the kopi wasn’t as kao *thick* as I would have liked. I also liked Wee and our morning rambles of the books we have read so far. He was the one who insisted I must read Dan Brown no matter what anybody said and I have in my mind to introduce him to one of my favorite thriller authors soon. I have yet to pick one but I hope I won’t disappoint. But! its cost cutting over intresting 3 minute conversations ;)
The weekend with the kids held more surprises. Terror 1 can swim without a float! And terror 2 can paddle nicely with no fear all the way to the centre of the pool. He can now blow bubbles without swallowing water too! So the short impromptu lessons are working! *yeay* terror 3 was only interested in learning how to piggy back mama without slipping *hehe* though but she learnt how to sing a new song. Terror 1 asked me why I only have 3 children and while trying to explain the birds and the bees she remarked that she doesn’t like taking our family as an example. She said it would ‘bring tears to her eyes’.I swear she used the exact words. I explained that there are many families just like ours and she should be thankful that both of her parents are still alive. What about those who have lost their parents to death? I’m sure that would bring even more sadness and hurt. I know how they feel but am adamant to make it feel less gnawing on the senses. Real life hurts and they need to know why. The blame will never leave my shoulders and I am making time to muscle them up for more strength.
Terror 2 told me he’s been having nightmares and in them he felt powerless to fight them off. He explained that he said his prayers and washed himself before sleep but still the nightmares came. And yes, there were times he’d be thrashing around and actually cry during sleep. Digging deeper, I explained to him how in his dreams it is possible to be anything that he wanted to be or do anything he wanted to do and we dream because it is necessary for creativity and rest. He can't understand how running away from mosters can be restful so then I gave him a beaded necklace of tiger stones to draw inspiration from. He listened and saw how the stones got their name and took it to the test. In the morning he said he had no nightmares! But preferred an alligator’s tooth as a necklace because while watching a scary zombie movie later he touched his necklace but still felt scared and innocently told me, “mama, I think the tiger sleep lar.” *giggles* well, back to the drawing board on that one! I asked if he ever told his dad about the dreams but he said he didn’t want to be called a scaredy cat. I also noticed he didn’t like to write his full name down and even came up with excuses like he doesn’t know how to spell his name till he got so tired of having to write it down anyway to my insistence. To escape he turned and just said blankly, “I don’t like the name hafeez.” He doesn’t even like to be called by the name and am wondering why. I’d find out soon enough ;)
I haven’t sat down in front of the pc for a good deal of thinking and writing, let alone empty the camera to get more photos of the kids downloaded. I need time alone, to do my stuff during my own time. Stealing bits of time in between doesn’t work as it’s quite distracting.
stay sane,
amyemeelea
Monday, November 27, 2006
Friday, November 24, 2006
Misguided sheep..
The alarm clock died at 530am this morning but I awoke to foggy dreams of making endless trips to funan to try change the game I bought for the other half to one that could actually be played on his lappy! >( I got him ‘need for speed carbon’ for his birthday but the audio and visual specs are prolly too high for the game to be played on his HP lappy. He was so looking forward to playing it and now after being told that it’s a no go to upgrade the specs on laptops, it might be that he can’t play the game at all?!!! *urghhh* nightmare siak! Da happy happy abeh kecundeng *hehe* still efforts must be made to see if something can be done. Either to the lappy or the game!
I left for work together with shikino my sis in law this morning. We chased after the bus together and I told her about how the book by Dan Brown, The Da vinci Code found me via the owner of wee’s coffeeshop. I secretly pined for the book but avoided the book for quite sometime, maybe due to its commerciality or lack of funds to actually buy it :p The endless flows of reprints and related books, the movie, the documentary and on and on and on just got to me after sometime. I hoped she enjoyed the book as much as I did though but she said to enjoy the book better, it might be useful to be familiar with the references made on Christianity. So I’m hooked after the first few chapters, drawn in by the pace, symbology! And endless references to the world’s most famous art pieces just made me salivate for more. But I digress…she said goodbye at the mrt and I found myself thinking about how nice it felt to share that few moments with her even for that few minutes. I never had a sister but shared the best childhood moments with bobby but there’s nothing quite like sharing girly stuff with another girl ;) so hopefully a planned day out with shikino soon might be good.
First impressions don’t last as I shook ms.i’m-serious-about-work hands this morning. she asked me what cigarettes I smoked and when told that we share the same preference for menthols she reached out her hand which I instinctly shook. Her limp hand really meant, “can I have a stick cos I forgot mine stash.” *duhhh!* now I feel silly :) I hope I didn’t break any fingers. Got out with some of the guys here for lunch but am not going to make it a habit as I still love the moments of sly madness talking to the stray cats at the telok ayer arts center. I usually sit over the ledge while they look on lazily to read, write and toast myself in the humidity of lunch hour rush in the cbd! The cats are wary of strangers maybe because there’s been cases of missing and attacked felines in past and I think they know that there’s so few now who could actually appreciate their mangy existence.
As I embroil deep into the culture of my new workplace, its deep dark dank history *justof7years* of drawn war lines and horrible bitter office wars won and lost, start to sink into my flesh slowly, making me wince every time I have to bear witness to recurring mini spats between the camps. As the newfound neutral recruit, campaigns have already begun for my pledge *accck!* The last major spat saw 6 people tender their resignation at one time! *rubschin* saw enough bloodshed in my lifetime dealing with office politics, myself once a casualty of volatile emotions shooting off wild in all directions *shakeheads* so am going to maintain my fort at all costs! :D
“do nothing and yet there is nothing that is not done. To win the world one must attend to nothing. When one attends to this and that, He will not win the world.”
- old Chinese saying I think from sherry lim? *forgotthebook*
stay sane,
amyemeelea
I left for work together with shikino my sis in law this morning. We chased after the bus together and I told her about how the book by Dan Brown, The Da vinci Code found me via the owner of wee’s coffeeshop. I secretly pined for the book but avoided the book for quite sometime, maybe due to its commerciality or lack of funds to actually buy it :p The endless flows of reprints and related books, the movie, the documentary and on and on and on just got to me after sometime. I hoped she enjoyed the book as much as I did though but she said to enjoy the book better, it might be useful to be familiar with the references made on Christianity. So I’m hooked after the first few chapters, drawn in by the pace, symbology! And endless references to the world’s most famous art pieces just made me salivate for more. But I digress…she said goodbye at the mrt and I found myself thinking about how nice it felt to share that few moments with her even for that few minutes. I never had a sister but shared the best childhood moments with bobby but there’s nothing quite like sharing girly stuff with another girl ;) so hopefully a planned day out with shikino soon might be good.
First impressions don’t last as I shook ms.i’m-serious-about-work hands this morning. she asked me what cigarettes I smoked and when told that we share the same preference for menthols she reached out her hand which I instinctly shook. Her limp hand really meant, “can I have a stick cos I forgot mine stash.” *duhhh!* now I feel silly :) I hope I didn’t break any fingers. Got out with some of the guys here for lunch but am not going to make it a habit as I still love the moments of sly madness talking to the stray cats at the telok ayer arts center. I usually sit over the ledge while they look on lazily to read, write and toast myself in the humidity of lunch hour rush in the cbd! The cats are wary of strangers maybe because there’s been cases of missing and attacked felines in past and I think they know that there’s so few now who could actually appreciate their mangy existence.
As I embroil deep into the culture of my new workplace, its deep dark dank history *justof7years* of drawn war lines and horrible bitter office wars won and lost, start to sink into my flesh slowly, making me wince every time I have to bear witness to recurring mini spats between the camps. As the newfound neutral recruit, campaigns have already begun for my pledge *accck!* The last major spat saw 6 people tender their resignation at one time! *rubschin* saw enough bloodshed in my lifetime dealing with office politics, myself once a casualty of volatile emotions shooting off wild in all directions *shakeheads* so am going to maintain my fort at all costs! :D
“do nothing and yet there is nothing that is not done. To win the world one must attend to nothing. When one attends to this and that, He will not win the world.”
- old Chinese saying I think from sherry lim? *forgotthebook*
stay sane,
amyemeelea
Saturday, November 11, 2006
quiet!!!!
I love working weekends or maybe not, but for this time, its nice to be left alone to go about your own work with no one to bother with what you are currently doing. Usually I spy ms. I’m-so-good-I got-tranferred always looking into my latest did dos. She goes around and then innocently asks me questions like,
Sleng: did the auditor ask for the manila envelopes?
Me: no, I put them there because there wasn’t any space in the last storage.
*ms. Sleng exits my left to her desk*
Sleng: have you updated the attendance?
Me: not yet.
*spies her standing 2 metres away from the corner of my eye looking over my shoulder*
Sleng: when you have time you rearrange everything lar ok?
Me: ok.
I seriously am beginning to think she misses her old job. She comes by my desk to use the pc, claiming that hers doesn’t work. and I think its because she doesn’t know how the hell to use the system yet but do not want her new best buds in the customer service department to know *sniggers*. And she’s happy to go around doing what I’m supposed to do which I think is just so she can make me look stupid or her look busy. Or I have reason to suspect that its because I seem to be working the office like a charm. :P I don’t know, maybe it took her like a week to work the telephone system and she haven’t done any filling from August! half of which I managed to clear at least in 3 days. Everytime it happens I just smile, answer as honestly and sugary sweet as I should; having decided to leave any trace of sarcasm from my voice and actions at home. They can’t appreciate good cracks anyway so why waste them on ms. Sleng and company! All that doesn’t really bother me, its only the fact that when I specifically asks about something she throws a huff and answers non-comittally. You know the wishy washy type, who can’t seem to decide whether they are smart or really only acting smart. In the end they end up sabotaging themselves for really being shown as acting SILLY with answers such as, “I told you already right~~~ where the stationery was?” When she merely pointed out where everything was, which is all OVER the office and then handed me a plastic folder stuffed with a pile of papers each trailing each other, all to be filed under ‘Stationery Inventory’. It is all not updated, not filed, not organized in any way and yet she brazenly dares to tell me go sniff my own butt at a simple request to refresh my memory.
*hehe* she reminds me of those people who makes it a point to ruin your day somehow or another. Personally she checks on my grooming too. My eyes too puffy, my lips too red, I’m too slow in answering the phonecalls because I make it a point to properly greet and follow a certain self imposed standard where standards are non existent because 'we are a very small company’ or BEST reason so far! Is that ‘we are very busy’ *blursaper takbusysiak!* but this is me describing my new workplace as honestly as I could. As we are approaching a time where same sex laws are to be amended to be okay between two consenting heterosexual adults is underway and the word ‘globalisation’ being used as a punctuation mark in every conversation about the economy; I can’t help but assume that now we’d never have to argue about whose responsibility is heaviest! Is it of customer service? Sales? Biz development? Too old for my taste that, and someone has to do the job of making your coffee, sort mail and work the switchboard. Why am I any different from the girl who takes bookings from customers, the babe who services the clients needs and the lady who prepares convincing proposals to seek expansion approval from the boss?? Why? Why? Why?? Don’t I work for a living just as all of you? i put her in the same catergory i put ms.saiko and frens where the mindset is, if you don't earn 3k a above a month you are a non consequence, no importance :D yes, sometimes they do flit across my mind >) Neway, at least I managed to tone ms. I-am-so-good-I-got-transferred down a notch by chance when the other day, she was telling me with an air of importance and superiority, how I MUST HAVE HIGH EQ when dealing with callers as they can be very rude and unreasonable *duh!* sometimes. I mumbled a feeble ‘uh-uhh’ and went about doing my work and the twist came when she added with a twinkle in her eye, why I carry such a big bag all the time and I told her of my habit of carrying my school notes and books wherever i go so that I could catch up reading for my assignments. She smiled gleefully and concluded with a “oh! You still schooling ah? What do you study?” and I replied, “applied psychology". *muahahahahah* you should have seen her face turn ash grey and her ability to quickly swallow pooling saliva was impressive! It is at times like this I relish the punch that comes with the mere mention of the word psychology. And I suspect it’s because deep down we all remember that psychology IS the study of the soul :)
"It is the little rift within the lute,
That by and by will make the music mute,
And ever widening slowly silence all."
stay sane,
amyemeelea
p/s *which means 'postscript' i just got to know today :P* : i'm studying my own soul so no worries about me stealing peeks into your left eye ehk!
Sleng: did the auditor ask for the manila envelopes?
Me: no, I put them there because there wasn’t any space in the last storage.
*ms. Sleng exits my left to her desk*
Sleng: have you updated the attendance?
Me: not yet.
*spies her standing 2 metres away from the corner of my eye looking over my shoulder*
Sleng: when you have time you rearrange everything lar ok?
Me: ok.
I seriously am beginning to think she misses her old job. She comes by my desk to use the pc, claiming that hers doesn’t work. and I think its because she doesn’t know how the hell to use the system yet but do not want her new best buds in the customer service department to know *sniggers*. And she’s happy to go around doing what I’m supposed to do which I think is just so she can make me look stupid or her look busy. Or I have reason to suspect that its because I seem to be working the office like a charm. :P I don’t know, maybe it took her like a week to work the telephone system and she haven’t done any filling from August! half of which I managed to clear at least in 3 days. Everytime it happens I just smile, answer as honestly and sugary sweet as I should; having decided to leave any trace of sarcasm from my voice and actions at home. They can’t appreciate good cracks anyway so why waste them on ms. Sleng and company! All that doesn’t really bother me, its only the fact that when I specifically asks about something she throws a huff and answers non-comittally. You know the wishy washy type, who can’t seem to decide whether they are smart or really only acting smart. In the end they end up sabotaging themselves for really being shown as acting SILLY with answers such as, “I told you already right~~~ where the stationery was?” When she merely pointed out where everything was, which is all OVER the office and then handed me a plastic folder stuffed with a pile of papers each trailing each other, all to be filed under ‘Stationery Inventory’. It is all not updated, not filed, not organized in any way and yet she brazenly dares to tell me go sniff my own butt at a simple request to refresh my memory.
*hehe* she reminds me of those people who makes it a point to ruin your day somehow or another. Personally she checks on my grooming too. My eyes too puffy, my lips too red, I’m too slow in answering the phonecalls because I make it a point to properly greet and follow a certain self imposed standard where standards are non existent because 'we are a very small company’ or BEST reason so far! Is that ‘we are very busy’ *blursaper takbusysiak!* but this is me describing my new workplace as honestly as I could. As we are approaching a time where same sex laws are to be amended to be okay between two consenting heterosexual adults is underway and the word ‘globalisation’ being used as a punctuation mark in every conversation about the economy; I can’t help but assume that now we’d never have to argue about whose responsibility is heaviest! Is it of customer service? Sales? Biz development? Too old for my taste that, and someone has to do the job of making your coffee, sort mail and work the switchboard. Why am I any different from the girl who takes bookings from customers, the babe who services the clients needs and the lady who prepares convincing proposals to seek expansion approval from the boss?? Why? Why? Why?? Don’t I work for a living just as all of you? i put her in the same catergory i put ms.saiko and frens where the mindset is, if you don't earn 3k a above a month you are a non consequence, no importance :D yes, sometimes they do flit across my mind >) Neway, at least I managed to tone ms. I-am-so-good-I-got-transferred down a notch by chance when the other day, she was telling me with an air of importance and superiority, how I MUST HAVE HIGH EQ when dealing with callers as they can be very rude and unreasonable *duh!* sometimes. I mumbled a feeble ‘uh-uhh’ and went about doing my work and the twist came when she added with a twinkle in her eye, why I carry such a big bag all the time and I told her of my habit of carrying my school notes and books wherever i go so that I could catch up reading for my assignments. She smiled gleefully and concluded with a “oh! You still schooling ah? What do you study?” and I replied, “applied psychology". *muahahahahah* you should have seen her face turn ash grey and her ability to quickly swallow pooling saliva was impressive! It is at times like this I relish the punch that comes with the mere mention of the word psychology. And I suspect it’s because deep down we all remember that psychology IS the study of the soul :)
"It is the little rift within the lute,
That by and by will make the music mute,
And ever widening slowly silence all."
stay sane,
amyemeelea
p/s *which means 'postscript' i just got to know today :P* : i'm studying my own soul so no worries about me stealing peeks into your left eye ehk!
Saturday, November 04, 2006
Happy post-ever after!
Its been a heady week and I’m sure there’d be a few cases of extreme malaise *soundslikemalasmalaslmalas* going in circles making its rounds. I spy bulging tummies and aching feet but I’m sure the kiddies are having a whale of a time counting their fat fat collection. Maybe mummy and daddy would let you buy that fabulous something you have been eyeing for quite sometime now ehk? :)
i spent the first two days working and I said all my goodbyes to my week or so colleagues. They pressed me for hari raya goodies but I sadly this year I have none to share. Neway, I do intend to bake some post raya *maybeusepostcereal!* and could easily pass some to the guys since they are but 5 mins away. I got the 3 terrors last weekend and we had a blast! We went around zipping in bobby’s car and the kids gave bobby a huge headache *hehe* it was the sugar rush that made them do it *innocentlyblur* and on the last night before I had to send the 3 terrors home, we counted the money everyone had and went to spend it ALL on the things they want. Of course terror 1 and 2 got stuff for school too. Terror 1 was insistent about saving the money to herself and said that she needed it to pay for her school fees! :P so I said, “Suit yourself but terror 2 and 3 will be spending all of theirs just like last year at the bookshop.”I think it was the lethargy of having to be good and well behaved the whole of 2 days that crumbled her defense and having the other 2 terrors gloat didn’t help either. She stopped being so sensible and turned 6 years old the minute she stepped over the threshold to sprint to the color pencil section.
Right after that weekend I started work here in Shenton Way! I tried my damnest not to bitch, complain or find any fault with the everything new around me but it was hard. At least I think I did good or maybe I’m not really in a vent mood today. The whole office is away in Thailand for a short company trip. There is only ms. spittle (she speaks and you’d need an umbrella) and ms. I-know-better (as loud as me) to keep me company or the firm open. My very first official blog entry from work! some peace at last because ms.i-so-good-i-got-transferred is not breathing down my neck and giving me all the wrong info. Spent 2 days sorting 2 or possibly 3 months worth of filling only to be told I got it all wrong *shuddergerams*but I took it in stride and well…I shouldn’t be such a biting bitch. I finally got my wish and I could be anyone I like over here. But! Shaik al camel works right beside over at the next building and I bumped into him while on the way back from work last Tuesday. Damn! He knows why I switched from Marlboro menthol to sampoerna! :P
Called jo berok yesterday and he sounded so bleargh. He has finally succumbed to taking medication and is on a kind of anti depressant. He complained of major headaches and was told by the doctor that it is very normal. I told him to give me the details of it so that I could check why it is being used on him and if it really has side effects. I pray that he’d feel better soon. On a light note, the recent holidays will serve its backlash overflowing from moments of pure indulgence and I bet its results will be hilariously disastrous. Nyce!! Apsal lu kena masok hospital?! Sham! Gua pon miss lu! Poww! bila off? Eh gemok! Password da letak blom? >) imgigi! Jaga lu, siap nanti kena korban…
Stay sane peeps,
amyemeelea
i spent the first two days working and I said all my goodbyes to my week or so colleagues. They pressed me for hari raya goodies but I sadly this year I have none to share. Neway, I do intend to bake some post raya *maybeusepostcereal!* and could easily pass some to the guys since they are but 5 mins away. I got the 3 terrors last weekend and we had a blast! We went around zipping in bobby’s car and the kids gave bobby a huge headache *hehe* it was the sugar rush that made them do it *innocentlyblur* and on the last night before I had to send the 3 terrors home, we counted the money everyone had and went to spend it ALL on the things they want. Of course terror 1 and 2 got stuff for school too. Terror 1 was insistent about saving the money to herself and said that she needed it to pay for her school fees! :P so I said, “Suit yourself but terror 2 and 3 will be spending all of theirs just like last year at the bookshop.”I think it was the lethargy of having to be good and well behaved the whole of 2 days that crumbled her defense and having the other 2 terrors gloat didn’t help either. She stopped being so sensible and turned 6 years old the minute she stepped over the threshold to sprint to the color pencil section.
Right after that weekend I started work here in Shenton Way! I tried my damnest not to bitch, complain or find any fault with the everything new around me but it was hard. At least I think I did good or maybe I’m not really in a vent mood today. The whole office is away in Thailand for a short company trip. There is only ms. spittle (she speaks and you’d need an umbrella) and ms. I-know-better (as loud as me) to keep me company or the firm open. My very first official blog entry from work! some peace at last because ms.i-so-good-i-got-transferred is not breathing down my neck and giving me all the wrong info. Spent 2 days sorting 2 or possibly 3 months worth of filling only to be told I got it all wrong *shuddergerams*but I took it in stride and well…I shouldn’t be such a biting bitch. I finally got my wish and I could be anyone I like over here. But! Shaik al camel works right beside over at the next building and I bumped into him while on the way back from work last Tuesday. Damn! He knows why I switched from Marlboro menthol to sampoerna! :P
Called jo berok yesterday and he sounded so bleargh. He has finally succumbed to taking medication and is on a kind of anti depressant. He complained of major headaches and was told by the doctor that it is very normal. I told him to give me the details of it so that I could check why it is being used on him and if it really has side effects. I pray that he’d feel better soon. On a light note, the recent holidays will serve its backlash overflowing from moments of pure indulgence and I bet its results will be hilariously disastrous. Nyce!! Apsal lu kena masok hospital?! Sham! Gua pon miss lu! Poww! bila off? Eh gemok! Password da letak blom? >) imgigi! Jaga lu, siap nanti kena korban…
Stay sane peeps,
amyemeelea
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
The Self wishes all Salam Eid Al Mubarak...
random ad nauseum *firstthigsfirst* >)
i went out to have my mini pre raya celebration yesterday with the other half and besides ending up super hungry when i got home, it was a night i felt very blessed to have someone loved to be by my side. woke up Eid afternoon *hehe* to bobby's cries of "bangun lar!" and replied that i had no motivation to do so cos no have Raya goodies to lure me up from bed! And he said maybe i would like to make a bit of noise and parade outside for a bit so the Makcik pandai masak *ourneighbour* might just send us sample goodies as she did last year! The thought of sambal udang! rendang! ketupat! *arrrgh!salivating!* i stayed in bed for a few more minutes and woke up in shorts and t-shirt to take pictures of the Eid couple in the house wearing baby blue and had a very emo-moment when bobby and shikino took me in their arms to wish a very smelly me a Safe Eid. The apologies struck me and it was one of those very few times that bobby took my hands to kiss it as a form of respect to and elder *beamsproud* sadness overcame when i really wished i had been otherwise...an ELDERWISE!
*raya songs from warna radio in background*
i got to speak to the 3 terrors yesterday and reconfirmed picking them up for the weekend. i didn't get to speak to them today but maybe later tonight or tomorrow morning will try to squeeze bits and see if thier Eid celebrations were fun! i made coffee for myself and showered. Peeked through my phone and read the wishes from friends coming in as early as 830am! *wavesatpoww!* Contentment rushed me to gear up for the day at home. Images of my loved ones rushing here and about to tighten the familial bonds in matching kurungs, the sounds of joyful laughter and hidden regretful sobs rushed past. I'd be looking forward to make my rounds soon, Insyaaallah! Wore my black dress *sombremood* and sent my raya sms replies to all in my phonelist and plonked myself in front of the pc!
*black dog bone on the radio!!!*
"siapakah yang sudi..menghulurkan simpati..." *saaap* nie gua step sedih anak yatim piano lar nie :P tapi gua tak sedih cuma syahdu jer. every year this song reminds me of having to work lar on the first day of Eid. and i'm not alone. i know of many who sacrificed their holidays for others to give in to the rest to be able to revel in the celebrations and give thanks. with belief that there'll be more chances for our turn in days to come. Hari nie awak cuti, besok lusa kita plak lar nyer!! :) Amin!
Alhamdullilah for the past, present and future..As Allah forgives, I forgive. Even myself.
Stay sane and u'd always be in our prayers Insyaallah,
jahatamyemeelea & the 3 terrors namely...Puteri Isabella, Putera Emir Hafeez and the teeny tiny one last but never least, Emira Natasha
i went out to have my mini pre raya celebration yesterday with the other half and besides ending up super hungry when i got home, it was a night i felt very blessed to have someone loved to be by my side. woke up Eid afternoon *hehe* to bobby's cries of "bangun lar!" and replied that i had no motivation to do so cos no have Raya goodies to lure me up from bed! And he said maybe i would like to make a bit of noise and parade outside for a bit so the Makcik pandai masak *ourneighbour* might just send us sample goodies as she did last year! The thought of sambal udang! rendang! ketupat! *arrrgh!salivating!* i stayed in bed for a few more minutes and woke up in shorts and t-shirt to take pictures of the Eid couple in the house wearing baby blue and had a very emo-moment when bobby and shikino took me in their arms to wish a very smelly me a Safe Eid. The apologies struck me and it was one of those very few times that bobby took my hands to kiss it as a form of respect to and elder *beamsproud* sadness overcame when i really wished i had been otherwise...an ELDERWISE!
*raya songs from warna radio in background*
i got to speak to the 3 terrors yesterday and reconfirmed picking them up for the weekend. i didn't get to speak to them today but maybe later tonight or tomorrow morning will try to squeeze bits and see if thier Eid celebrations were fun! i made coffee for myself and showered. Peeked through my phone and read the wishes from friends coming in as early as 830am! *wavesatpoww!* Contentment rushed me to gear up for the day at home. Images of my loved ones rushing here and about to tighten the familial bonds in matching kurungs, the sounds of joyful laughter and hidden regretful sobs rushed past. I'd be looking forward to make my rounds soon, Insyaaallah! Wore my black dress *sombremood* and sent my raya sms replies to all in my phonelist and plonked myself in front of the pc!
*black dog bone on the radio!!!*
"siapakah yang sudi..menghulurkan simpati..." *saaap* nie gua step sedih anak yatim piano lar nie :P tapi gua tak sedih cuma syahdu jer. every year this song reminds me of having to work lar on the first day of Eid. and i'm not alone. i know of many who sacrificed their holidays for others to give in to the rest to be able to revel in the celebrations and give thanks. with belief that there'll be more chances for our turn in days to come. Hari nie awak cuti, besok lusa kita plak lar nyer!! :) Amin!
Alhamdullilah for the past, present and future..As Allah forgives, I forgive. Even myself.
Stay sane and u'd always be in our prayers Insyaallah,
jahatamyemeelea & the 3 terrors namely...Puteri Isabella, Putera Emir Hafeez and the teeny tiny one last but never least, Emira Natasha
Friday, October 20, 2006
its good news from rat race land!
i got a call from titot about the job and she asked me to call the person to reconfirm a date for an interview. so i called and the interview was set for tuesday afternoon. i was to bring another copy of my resume plus certs and i braced myself yet for another session of which i know was going to include me having to answer, "tell me, why psychology?"
so i went to the interview and foggily remembered the locations of Asia Chambers. I used to work in the CBD eaons ago and a part of me still flickers with faint memories of walking up, down and everywhere in the CBD. it was an old building and most would remember Asia Chambers for being the building where you bought your bets! i got lost trying to look for its entrance but i thought that its location was okay. food and amenities were just around its corners. i spied a watsons nearby and a cosy coffee place just across to chill for super early mornings. and i told myself to do a wee bit walk around just to see what more surprises could greet me, right after the other corner IF i had the chance to work here. i went up the lift and asked for ms. poon. the receptionist asked why i was there and told me to fill in yet another form. i sat in the meeting room and received a hello and a few smiles from around me.
i was called into the room and i had to answer exactly why i chose psychology to major and then i was told of the position available. it is support staff for the accounts department but i have to cover reception duties as well. the general administration of the whole office plus the one beside it will be my responsibility. ad hoc duties will come from all departments but it was my first duty to call on the accounts department. no problemo..i was an old hand in multi tasking. i have my own desk and will be alone with no one breathing down my neck so i am a happy camper. they offered me my minimum and an increment of 100 bucks after 3 months confirmation. the receptionist who was going to be trasnferred to customer service was too happy to handover her duties to me there and then while i waited for ms. poon to prepare my appointment letter.
yes!!! i had asked for an appointment letter to be drawn and hopefully signed before i officially stepped in and they OBLIGED. it said 'accounts cum admin assistant' *throwsconfettiallaround* the other half was nice to ask me out for a mini celebration. and as we went through my present commitments and rushed up a to do list, i can't help but feel relieved. very thankful and really couldn't believe my luck. new job, new start in relationship...and yes new questions in class to tackle! new friends! new route to work! otey...i'm overdoing it for a bit.
later today will have to inform my supervisor about having to quit. reason an opporturnity i couldn't pass. even if i know bobby isn't too happy for me to be switching so soon. heck! i didn't think it would have been this soon! but i HAVE to think LONG term. maybe he put a wager on me with wifey *heheheh* for how long i can last this time and i think he already has a time for when i start complaining ;P will start very soon but first my duties to buff those saturates away for yet another few more days.
stay sane,
amyemeelea
so i went to the interview and foggily remembered the locations of Asia Chambers. I used to work in the CBD eaons ago and a part of me still flickers with faint memories of walking up, down and everywhere in the CBD. it was an old building and most would remember Asia Chambers for being the building where you bought your bets! i got lost trying to look for its entrance but i thought that its location was okay. food and amenities were just around its corners. i spied a watsons nearby and a cosy coffee place just across to chill for super early mornings. and i told myself to do a wee bit walk around just to see what more surprises could greet me, right after the other corner IF i had the chance to work here. i went up the lift and asked for ms. poon. the receptionist asked why i was there and told me to fill in yet another form. i sat in the meeting room and received a hello and a few smiles from around me.
i was called into the room and i had to answer exactly why i chose psychology to major and then i was told of the position available. it is support staff for the accounts department but i have to cover reception duties as well. the general administration of the whole office plus the one beside it will be my responsibility. ad hoc duties will come from all departments but it was my first duty to call on the accounts department. no problemo..i was an old hand in multi tasking. i have my own desk and will be alone with no one breathing down my neck so i am a happy camper. they offered me my minimum and an increment of 100 bucks after 3 months confirmation. the receptionist who was going to be trasnferred to customer service was too happy to handover her duties to me there and then while i waited for ms. poon to prepare my appointment letter.
yes!!! i had asked for an appointment letter to be drawn and hopefully signed before i officially stepped in and they OBLIGED. it said 'accounts cum admin assistant' *throwsconfettiallaround* the other half was nice to ask me out for a mini celebration. and as we went through my present commitments and rushed up a to do list, i can't help but feel relieved. very thankful and really couldn't believe my luck. new job, new start in relationship...and yes new questions in class to tackle! new friends! new route to work! otey...i'm overdoing it for a bit.
later today will have to inform my supervisor about having to quit. reason an opporturnity i couldn't pass. even if i know bobby isn't too happy for me to be switching so soon. heck! i didn't think it would have been this soon! but i HAVE to think LONG term. maybe he put a wager on me with wifey *heheheh* for how long i can last this time and i think he already has a time for when i start complaining ;P will start very soon but first my duties to buff those saturates away for yet another few more days.
stay sane,
amyemeelea
Monday, October 16, 2006
me flies!
time really flies and sometimes it seems like it crawls bit by bit. depends on what you're doing and who you are with. it just doesn't stop. i am working nights part-time while i await good news from rat race land. the graveyard shift will and must be accompanied by momok *ghost* stories annd i find myself holding everything in. the people are okay and the best thing about work is that its 5 minutes tops from home. i will endure and try to swallow the boredom and the small frights in between. from red to dark skies, slowly peaking again to hazy morn awaits me a few nights in between my week. i take a deep breath and can only shrug away the grunts. say my thanks and mentally prepare myself for another day.
i saw the 3 terrors! and that was the highlght of my weekend. i got to them late but all was well when i reached the front door. we watched a bit of teevee and jumped into bobby's car for a quick spin. packets of gobbled sweets later, we said our prayers and fell into sleepy slumber by 11pm. it was heaven to be enveloped by thier sweet smells and it was busy romping around the next day for the whole time i was with them. i managed to keep them sane till i had to walk away to report for work. terror 1 and 2 kissed me goodbye and offered me prayers for a safe journey to work, a soft peck on my lips to seal them right to my heart. terror 3 was pouty and could only keep mum. i am truly blessed for my those around me as they helped to tie the loose ends for all the times i have to disappear. kak tina packed me food and bobby & shikino whisked them home! not before a short trip for ice cream and fries! i got pictures and swallowed my tears out, looking in. i really wish i could be with them more often and longer but alas....this is how it has to be for now.
another day in paradise and i hope the 3 cups of coffee i had will not haunt me till late. i will need my shuteye and must focus to look forward. i count my blessings and thank my challenges as they make me strong. for one so obviously pessimistic, i laugh at the times i climb the slippery steps to have a hold on optimistism. i slip and fall but i try and try again. often old scars sting and burn when the drip of my salty tears touch them raw. still in denial i forge ahead. my wounds will heal in time. the vapours those of my warm breath reminds me of my frail humanity and of those around me.
Allah renew my life, mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually :)
stay sane,
amyemeelea
i saw the 3 terrors! and that was the highlght of my weekend. i got to them late but all was well when i reached the front door. we watched a bit of teevee and jumped into bobby's car for a quick spin. packets of gobbled sweets later, we said our prayers and fell into sleepy slumber by 11pm. it was heaven to be enveloped by thier sweet smells and it was busy romping around the next day for the whole time i was with them. i managed to keep them sane till i had to walk away to report for work. terror 1 and 2 kissed me goodbye and offered me prayers for a safe journey to work, a soft peck on my lips to seal them right to my heart. terror 3 was pouty and could only keep mum. i am truly blessed for my those around me as they helped to tie the loose ends for all the times i have to disappear. kak tina packed me food and bobby & shikino whisked them home! not before a short trip for ice cream and fries! i got pictures and swallowed my tears out, looking in. i really wish i could be with them more often and longer but alas....this is how it has to be for now.
another day in paradise and i hope the 3 cups of coffee i had will not haunt me till late. i will need my shuteye and must focus to look forward. i count my blessings and thank my challenges as they make me strong. for one so obviously pessimistic, i laugh at the times i climb the slippery steps to have a hold on optimistism. i slip and fall but i try and try again. often old scars sting and burn when the drip of my salty tears touch them raw. still in denial i forge ahead. my wounds will heal in time. the vapours those of my warm breath reminds me of my frail humanity and of those around me.
Allah renew my life, mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually :)
stay sane,
amyemeelea
Thursday, October 12, 2006
waiting game still...
alhamdullilah....pintu rezeki selalu terbuka hanya kita sahaja yang tidak mahu mencari kuncinya *termasokgua*
more updates on the job hunt but be prepared for some laughs in between. jangan anjat sua! :)
stay sane,
amyemeelea
more updates on the job hunt but be prepared for some laughs in between. jangan anjat sua! :)
stay sane,
amyemeelea
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
sniff...
i found my way to the teevee ad website, life before death when i looked through the pages of the papers today. now i know, he doesn't blink because he has lost most of his sight to the cancer and insyaallah...the stories of human resilience hopefully might bring forth a more open and compassionate society.
*sniff*
called to reconfirm my interview but was told instead that she sent me an email to inform that they have found someone to fill the position. thank god i called cos i didn't receive no email and it would have been a wasted trip and i might just have to break my fast cos of unmentionables *hehe* so i ran through the classifieds again and printed out pages for shikino from a reference website. i should finish painting the iron wrought gate already! but it will have to wait maybe till tomorrow or friday. a bit later i will go for a late evening mass interview at the factory nearby and i hope *pleaseeeeeeee!* to get that night shift job to tide me over. time seem to past by so fast! its already been more than a month of rest :) and i can't bring myself to talk about school. or anything!!! *blankness*
hopes up high to see the 3 terrors this weekend but who knows what tomorrow brings.
stay sane,
amyemeelea
*sniff*
called to reconfirm my interview but was told instead that she sent me an email to inform that they have found someone to fill the position. thank god i called cos i didn't receive no email and it would have been a wasted trip and i might just have to break my fast cos of unmentionables *hehe* so i ran through the classifieds again and printed out pages for shikino from a reference website. i should finish painting the iron wrought gate already! but it will have to wait maybe till tomorrow or friday. a bit later i will go for a late evening mass interview at the factory nearby and i hope *pleaseeeeeeee!* to get that night shift job to tide me over. time seem to past by so fast! its already been more than a month of rest :) and i can't bring myself to talk about school. or anything!!! *blankness*
hopes up high to see the 3 terrors this weekend but who knows what tomorrow brings.
stay sane,
amyemeelea
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Moods microcosm…
No raya songs! So am switched to 92.4FM. I couldn’t sleep last night so finished the piece for her secrets. read the many intresting tips at Askmen.com and am wondering about that ad on teeve where you see this man, unblinking speaking to camera and telling everyone he has lung cancer. He goes on to say he wants to share his stories on life before death. The screen goes blank and you have a web address. I wrote the address down but I must have gotten it wrong because I was lead to an insurance website >(
I read through my emails and followed up with my calls. Kak tina’s boy got beaten because of a staring incident and I can’t believe how my perspective now has changed when I heard that his girlfriend who was present and who acted as witness for the police didn’t do anything while she was there! She just stood there to watch him being beaten and helped sent him back afterwards. Aper siak!!!!! maner lu nyer kepala otak! But…she is 15 and the reason was “am in state of panic” so I guess its good to know that nothing terribly serious happened to either of them.
The IRAS summons I received for non submission got waived! Yeahooo! I just need to log on to their website and file my taxes *phew* titot called and she’s going to help me hand deliver my resume to her boss’s friend who is need of an admin person because there’s something wrong with their email server. So hope that goes well! *amin!* then a bit later I will need to sexplain to bobby about the electronic filing system that the courts now so favour and see what can be done there. It says here that the Sevice Bereau or the Family Court staff will not be able to help draft or check my documents before I file them. And if the courts finds that they are incorrect, they WILL have to reject them. Part of the filing fees will be refunded if I decide not to re-file and it says here that if I need advice or assistance I should approach a lawyer (costs about 300 bucks or more sey!!!!) or IF I qualify for assitance from the Legal Aid Bereau I can try to contact them. *tariktarikrambut* apsal lar gua takmo jadik lawyer! Doctor! Magistrate!! But slowly and surely I’ll suss out the knots and work the system.
And hello to ole and new acquaintances from multiply!! I created my multiply account so that I can view the pictures and keep in touch with my friends. And recently updated the linky to auto update my blog from blogger ;) cos my dearest friend nanin told me it was the best way to catch up with some of our ole schoolamtes. I also have a frienster account which I am unable to log into till now because I lost my password and the email address I used to retrive is no longer working. And I have a pending request to create a my space account from bestday burstday boy so that we can linky. So to all you peeps who found your way into the Self Center, please remind yourself that this is a personal blog and its contents is all about......
“ME WHO WHAT AND WHY...PRACTICES AND BELIEVES IN SELF-HEALING. LOVES TO READ AND LAUGHS ALOT, MORE OFTEN THAN NOT SAID TO WORSHIP THE DEVIL. ALSO KNOWN TO SPOUT A WHOLE LOTTA CRAP TO FRIEND, FOE OR FUM. CHECK YOURSELF IN AT YOUR OWN RISK YOU WHO WHAT AND WHY....”
or maybe i should really think about using that block option thingyt hey have on these sites?
stay sane and hello!!!! maybe goodbye? ;)
amyemeelea
I read through my emails and followed up with my calls. Kak tina’s boy got beaten because of a staring incident and I can’t believe how my perspective now has changed when I heard that his girlfriend who was present and who acted as witness for the police didn’t do anything while she was there! She just stood there to watch him being beaten and helped sent him back afterwards. Aper siak!!!!! maner lu nyer kepala otak! But…she is 15 and the reason was “am in state of panic” so I guess its good to know that nothing terribly serious happened to either of them.
The IRAS summons I received for non submission got waived! Yeahooo! I just need to log on to their website and file my taxes *phew* titot called and she’s going to help me hand deliver my resume to her boss’s friend who is need of an admin person because there’s something wrong with their email server. So hope that goes well! *amin!* then a bit later I will need to sexplain to bobby about the electronic filing system that the courts now so favour and see what can be done there. It says here that the Sevice Bereau or the Family Court staff will not be able to help draft or check my documents before I file them. And if the courts finds that they are incorrect, they WILL have to reject them. Part of the filing fees will be refunded if I decide not to re-file and it says here that if I need advice or assistance I should approach a lawyer (costs about 300 bucks or more sey!!!!) or IF I qualify for assitance from the Legal Aid Bereau I can try to contact them. *tariktarikrambut* apsal lar gua takmo jadik lawyer! Doctor! Magistrate!! But slowly and surely I’ll suss out the knots and work the system.
And hello to ole and new acquaintances from multiply!! I created my multiply account so that I can view the pictures and keep in touch with my friends. And recently updated the linky to auto update my blog from blogger ;) cos my dearest friend nanin told me it was the best way to catch up with some of our ole schoolamtes. I also have a frienster account which I am unable to log into till now because I lost my password and the email address I used to retrive is no longer working. And I have a pending request to create a my space account from bestday burstday boy so that we can linky. So to all you peeps who found your way into the Self Center, please remind yourself that this is a personal blog and its contents is all about......
“ME WHO WHAT AND WHY...PRACTICES AND BELIEVES IN SELF-HEALING. LOVES TO READ AND LAUGHS ALOT, MORE OFTEN THAN NOT SAID TO WORSHIP THE DEVIL. ALSO KNOWN TO SPOUT A WHOLE LOTTA CRAP TO FRIEND, FOE OR FUM. CHECK YOURSELF IN AT YOUR OWN RISK YOU WHO WHAT AND WHY....”
or maybe i should really think about using that block option thingyt hey have on these sites?
stay sane and hello!!!! maybe goodbye? ;)
amyemeelea
Sunday, October 08, 2006
i wasn't hibernating...and hello IBU barooo!
i had to retype my assignment to bobby's pc and the other half passed his thumbdrive to me so that i'd be able to save my work and avoid mishaps and unhappy crashes. BUT! not only i didn't save a copy to any of my email accounts but i didn't save any into the thumbdrive. to serve me RIGHT, bobby's pc crashed on friday morn! *argggh* he came back but there was nothing he could do to revive the old machine. i could almost kick myself but i didn't. instead i asked if bobby would mind if i transfered my cpu to his room instead. i needed a workstation with a working internet line mah for school and future work :) and alhamdullillah! he said okay.
and aha! the transfer worked but my digivoice line in my room went kaput :( that's a real bummer man cos i really liked having my own phone line but maybe i can tap into bobby's phoneline later and see if that works! yeah!!! >) the weird thing is that when i tried to fix his cpu in my room to revive my digivoice the damn thing worked! so there is still hope yet in retriving my work from there via my swanky thumbdrive and this time i'd be real careful about saving my work. acck! just realised how paranoidly kiasu singaporean i sound :P well, better be safe than sorry.
a new week ahead all lined up for me and really do appreciate the doas all around. another interview on wednesday and hopefully a fixed part time at raffles city to help tide me over. the guys in capitaland heard about my application at the ascott and called me up to offer me the concierge position instantly! i really wished i could say yes but current commitments make it hard for me to accept shift work. priorities babe....its the weekends for the 3 terrors or i'd have to bail. still, phyllis was so nice to offer help and fix a part time schedule for me, so that i could earn the extras while waiting for a positive reply from somewhere out there in big fat rat race land! :P still, no promises are made but i'm keeping my hopes up.
didn't get to see the 3 terrors but no sweat, there will be plenty of time next week and the weeks after that. since i didn't get to spend the first day of eid for two consecutive years already, i really hope THIS year it will be different. it really looks like i have to get a court order to make it happen but i think it is necessary that they are made aware that I as STILL the BIRTHMOTHER to the 3 TERRORS have ALL THE RIGHTS in the world to want to spend MORE time with my children.
so terror 1 >) i understand that you want to follow your papa and ibu *new* on the 1st and 2nd day of eid. i am really sorry if my insistance that you follow MY ORDERS and request this time hurts you in anyway at all. BUT i hope you understand that I HAVE to do this not because i do not respect your wants, but because there are many lessons for all of us *andiMEANALLofusinvolved* to LEARN. you have to learn that i will always love you, and love will sometimes manifest itself as a selfish ogre! it is my duty to teach and help you understand to recognize that ogre. don't worry it is not an evil-i-will-destroy-eat-you-up ogre but more like SHREK the ogre *hehehehe* i just promise you won't regret spending the holidays with me. i can't promise you the new clothes, the buy-you-everything-you-want that papa & ibu *ahems* promised you. BUT! i can promise you i will never ever TRY TO BUY your love, because i know how expensive your love is and i so i will not insult ANY OF YOU by even trying >D
stay sane,
amyemeelea a.k.a mama lama who still retains all her birthrights over the 3 terrors *kapish?!*
and aha! the transfer worked but my digivoice line in my room went kaput :( that's a real bummer man cos i really liked having my own phone line but maybe i can tap into bobby's phoneline later and see if that works! yeah!!! >) the weird thing is that when i tried to fix his cpu in my room to revive my digivoice the damn thing worked! so there is still hope yet in retriving my work from there via my swanky thumbdrive and this time i'd be real careful about saving my work. acck! just realised how paranoidly kiasu singaporean i sound :P well, better be safe than sorry.
a new week ahead all lined up for me and really do appreciate the doas all around. another interview on wednesday and hopefully a fixed part time at raffles city to help tide me over. the guys in capitaland heard about my application at the ascott and called me up to offer me the concierge position instantly! i really wished i could say yes but current commitments make it hard for me to accept shift work. priorities babe....its the weekends for the 3 terrors or i'd have to bail. still, phyllis was so nice to offer help and fix a part time schedule for me, so that i could earn the extras while waiting for a positive reply from somewhere out there in big fat rat race land! :P still, no promises are made but i'm keeping my hopes up.
didn't get to see the 3 terrors but no sweat, there will be plenty of time next week and the weeks after that. since i didn't get to spend the first day of eid for two consecutive years already, i really hope THIS year it will be different. it really looks like i have to get a court order to make it happen but i think it is necessary that they are made aware that I as STILL the BIRTHMOTHER to the 3 TERRORS have ALL THE RIGHTS in the world to want to spend MORE time with my children.
so terror 1 >) i understand that you want to follow your papa and ibu *new* on the 1st and 2nd day of eid. i am really sorry if my insistance that you follow MY ORDERS and request this time hurts you in anyway at all. BUT i hope you understand that I HAVE to do this not because i do not respect your wants, but because there are many lessons for all of us *andiMEANALLofusinvolved* to LEARN. you have to learn that i will always love you, and love will sometimes manifest itself as a selfish ogre! it is my duty to teach and help you understand to recognize that ogre. don't worry it is not an evil-i-will-destroy-eat-you-up ogre but more like SHREK the ogre *hehehehe* i just promise you won't regret spending the holidays with me. i can't promise you the new clothes, the buy-you-everything-you-want that papa & ibu *ahems* promised you. BUT! i can promise you i will never ever TRY TO BUY your love, because i know how expensive your love is and i so i will not insult ANY OF YOU by even trying >D
stay sane,
amyemeelea a.k.a mama lama who still retains all her birthrights over the 3 terrors *kapish?!*
Thursday, October 05, 2006
and so the email read...
in anticipation and trying to ignore the sense of urgency of it all i received this reply from the logistics company.
From : Ismalyia Ismail
Reply-To :
Sent : Thursday, October 5, 2006 6:46 AM
To : "Emeelea Sani"
CC : "Lim Ai Ling", "Sherry Lim"
Subject : RE: Logistics Clerk Offer
Hi Emeelea,
We regret to inform you that we can only give rate lower than your expected
range of rate. We cannot offer you as the position but we thank you for your effort.
Thank you.
Yours sincerely,
XXXXXX Singapore
i felt sad and a teeny tad disapointed but i read and read and re-read the above reply and it put a smile on my face. i'm now sniggering and i know if i were to read the above again, i'd probably burst out laughing! no offence to the person who wrote the above reply. she probably was told by her superiors exactly the above to use as reply :P
He knows best of course and if my rezeki is not there then it must be awaiting for me somewhere else better and more fufilling, Insyaallah.
stay sane,
amyemeelea
From : Ismalyia Ismail
Reply-To :
Sent : Thursday, October 5, 2006 6:46 AM
To : "Emeelea Sani"
CC : "Lim Ai Ling"
Subject : RE: Logistics Clerk Offer
Hi Emeelea,
We regret to inform you that we can only give rate lower than your expected
range of rate. We cannot offer you as the position but we thank you for your effort.
Thank you.
Yours sincerely,
XXXXXX Singapore
i felt sad and a teeny tad disapointed but i read and read and re-read the above reply and it put a smile on my face. i'm now sniggering and i know if i were to read the above again, i'd probably burst out laughing! no offence to the person who wrote the above reply. she probably was told by her superiors exactly the above to use as reply :P
He knows best of course and if my rezeki is not there then it must be awaiting for me somewhere else better and more fufilling, Insyaallah.
stay sane,
amyemeelea
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
its official..
that i am flat downright broke dardey!!! i just came back from another interview, a second one for a temp position for the Ascott Group. this time for another department because somehow they froze the other one i applied for or that could well have been an excuse :P but i couldn't miss another chance and go get a glimpse of the fantastic view that thier office have in Temasek Towers...and of course another shot of trying to get a job.
so...i came back to an empty house, bobby and shikino are both merrily busy at work still and tried to sit down to unclutter my vibes. which means sorting my room, my emails, the bits and pieces around the house and in concurrent my thoughts. i changed, switched on the pc and prayed that the cable and broadband is still working and ta-daaa!!!!! both died *blueeek* i didn't even get to transfer my files to yahoo briefcase and now have to retype everything, that! or borrow shikino's thumbdrive and clumsily *avoidgettingelectrocuted* try to transfer the files manually..ya da da yaa yaaa daaaa.... *urgh!!*
oh so sad no more cable but this means more work on school gets done and more reading. as if i don't have enough already!!! but i'm a happy camper in my own dialectic world. even not having money doesn't bother me as much as before.. YET :)
stay sane not broke,
amyemeelea
so...i came back to an empty house, bobby and shikino are both merrily busy at work still and tried to sit down to unclutter my vibes. which means sorting my room, my emails, the bits and pieces around the house and in concurrent my thoughts. i changed, switched on the pc and prayed that the cable and broadband is still working and ta-daaa!!!!! both died *blueeek* i didn't even get to transfer my files to yahoo briefcase and now have to retype everything, that! or borrow shikino's thumbdrive and clumsily *avoidgettingelectrocuted* try to transfer the files manually..ya da da yaa yaaa daaaa.... *urgh!!*
oh so sad no more cable but this means more work on school gets done and more reading. as if i don't have enough already!!! but i'm a happy camper in my own dialectic world. even not having money doesn't bother me as much as before.. YET :)
stay sane not broke,
amyemeelea
Sunday, October 01, 2006
lampu lap lip...
my bro called just in time and i was whisked away in his new car. next destination is to break our fast with his in laws. as a nice gesture to include me in their plans, the dad asked if i knew of places to suggest so i suggested mak's place at near jalan masjid. it was weird but i tried not to feel out of place. i just wanted everyone to be happy and i have always wanted to feel what bobby felt when he speaks nothing but fantastic things about his family. it was part validation for me and a chance to peek into his world in hopes to find keys to his happiness that i could replicate.
and he has a wonderful family. his father in law gives him directions. his mom in law is adamant that he's the handsomest guy on earth *hehehe* and his bro in law dotes on him and knows all his favourites. the guy bought him a belt with a thundercats buckle for god's sake! :) he has a loving caring wifey who shares all his concerns and ends up buying him a car so that he doesn't have to face the dangers of being on the road on a bike. and he can't do any wrong being around kids as testified by mine truly.
so i am happy he is very happy with his family. doing all the things we missed in the past having a set of parents to dote on and be doted on. being wanted and loved and respected all in one. when before maybe its just assumptions and guessing games, now being able to be privy and feel what it is like to be part of his family, i am grateful my bro ended up with all of the above and wish him all the luck and sucess of the good that has come his way. must remind to keep my mouth shut though as i don't want your mum in law to puke right after we finish dinner and go with the flow. best is to refrain from making such suggestions as i do not know them well yet still thank both of you for making the space to squeeze me in. who doesn't want to be such happy campers :D
well, that is out of my head. now i'm watching another repeat of singapore idols finals. i forgot how i really liked some of the contestants this year and seeing ms emily the getai singer made me shout out loud! *haha!* rahimah the rock chick still has her halo of intensity warpped about her. and yeah..my bibir sek jon leong did not win but my guess is that he'd do pretty good after the show. what do i think about hady winning? he deserves it nuff said but i still can't place him in a genre of with a cretain style. or maybe that's why he won! fresh, kewt *cutelar* and versatile could maybe be his trademark or his X factor. so all the best anak melayooOoooo, make singapore proud babe and can you please quit popping up in my dreams? its getting a lil bit creepy up there *muahahah*
my gawd!!! its rahimah rahim senior dah!!! otey...gua tahu gua lambat banyak tapak ah for not catching the show much earlier :P so over and out till i blog again.
stay sane and rock on,
amyemeelea
and he has a wonderful family. his father in law gives him directions. his mom in law is adamant that he's the handsomest guy on earth *hehehe* and his bro in law dotes on him and knows all his favourites. the guy bought him a belt with a thundercats buckle for god's sake! :) he has a loving caring wifey who shares all his concerns and ends up buying him a car so that he doesn't have to face the dangers of being on the road on a bike. and he can't do any wrong being around kids as testified by mine truly.
so i am happy he is very happy with his family. doing all the things we missed in the past having a set of parents to dote on and be doted on. being wanted and loved and respected all in one. when before maybe its just assumptions and guessing games, now being able to be privy and feel what it is like to be part of his family, i am grateful my bro ended up with all of the above and wish him all the luck and sucess of the good that has come his way. must remind to keep my mouth shut though as i don't want your mum in law to puke right after we finish dinner and go with the flow. best is to refrain from making such suggestions as i do not know them well yet still thank both of you for making the space to squeeze me in. who doesn't want to be such happy campers :D
well, that is out of my head. now i'm watching another repeat of singapore idols finals. i forgot how i really liked some of the contestants this year and seeing ms emily the getai singer made me shout out loud! *haha!* rahimah the rock chick still has her halo of intensity warpped about her. and yeah..my bibir sek jon leong did not win but my guess is that he'd do pretty good after the show. what do i think about hady winning? he deserves it nuff said but i still can't place him in a genre of with a cretain style. or maybe that's why he won! fresh, kewt *cutelar* and versatile could maybe be his trademark or his X factor. so all the best anak melayooOoooo, make singapore proud babe and can you please quit popping up in my dreams? its getting a lil bit creepy up there *muahahah*
my gawd!!! its rahimah rahim senior dah!!! otey...gua tahu gua lambat banyak tapak ah for not catching the show much earlier :P so over and out till i blog again.
stay sane and rock on,
amyemeelea
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
keinginan...
kau seorang lelaki berjiwa baqa yang mampu mengalirkan airmata untuk ingatan. kau idola pujaan kerana seorang lelaki yang sedia menerima segala teguran. kau aku puja kujunjung setinggi langit kerana kau lelaki yang memberi madu, setelah menerima racun. kau biar kubelai hilang amarah selalu kerana kau lelaki tenang dan lapang dada. kau tak putus aku kucup manja kerana kau seorang lelaki yang baik sangka. kau akan terus tersemat dalam sanubari sebagai bidadara kerana kau lelaki yang tak pernah putus asa........
segalanya menjadi satu lembar keinginan menyatu jati di ruang tabir hidupku......
aku akan kehilangan kau tapi aku ingin menjadi seorang perempuan yang tahan menerima sebuah kehilangan. aku akan rasa sangat papa dan tandus tanpa kau tapi aku ingin jadi perempuan yang tidak takut pada kemiskinan. aku akan jering perih memulas kesakitan tanpa kau tapi aku ingin jadi seorang perempuan yang tabah menangung kerinduan setelah ditinggalkan. aku merasa terdampar hampa kerana tiada tempat mengadu tapi aku ingin jadi seorang perempuan yang tidak meminta-minta agar di penuhi segala keinginan.......
as it always happens, the inspiration came amidst the chatter and stories of love and friendship among a bunch of very *anggukangguk* nice and chummy people i met today for powwster's surprise *whichwasnotreallyonehehe* burstday party.
there was mar and hubby, poww and prince harry, sham and the boys and last but not least neneng!!! :) pokok kata there was love all around. stories about frustation hubby didn't want to hear about work vents *lol* a pledge from a sweet child who didn't want to marry to take care of mama dearest :) the lost stories of yesteryear about trips to the clinic :D quiet yearnings of lost time whispered hushes of apologies and tiny vibrations of divine inspiration keeping itself underwraps just so that it will soon birth nothing short of miracles! *phew*
all in all...my heart goes to my collective muses for tonight. till we meet again again and again.....
stay sane,
amyemeelea
segalanya menjadi satu lembar keinginan menyatu jati di ruang tabir hidupku......
aku akan kehilangan kau tapi aku ingin menjadi seorang perempuan yang tahan menerima sebuah kehilangan. aku akan rasa sangat papa dan tandus tanpa kau tapi aku ingin jadi perempuan yang tidak takut pada kemiskinan. aku akan jering perih memulas kesakitan tanpa kau tapi aku ingin jadi seorang perempuan yang tabah menangung kerinduan setelah ditinggalkan. aku merasa terdampar hampa kerana tiada tempat mengadu tapi aku ingin jadi seorang perempuan yang tidak meminta-minta agar di penuhi segala keinginan.......
as it always happens, the inspiration came amidst the chatter and stories of love and friendship among a bunch of very *anggukangguk* nice and chummy people i met today for powwster's surprise *whichwasnotreallyonehehe* burstday party.
there was mar and hubby, poww and prince harry, sham and the boys and last but not least neneng!!! :) pokok kata there was love all around. stories about frustation hubby didn't want to hear about work vents *lol* a pledge from a sweet child who didn't want to marry to take care of mama dearest :) the lost stories of yesteryear about trips to the clinic :D quiet yearnings of lost time whispered hushes of apologies and tiny vibrations of divine inspiration keeping itself underwraps just so that it will soon birth nothing short of miracles! *phew*
all in all...my heart goes to my collective muses for tonight. till we meet again again and again.....
stay sane,
amyemeelea
Monday, September 25, 2006
fear...
have you ever ran the race of your life and came out at best top 3; when you stand at the finish line only to be told that you didn't't win the medal because you didn't register to participate in the race in the first place? then they add the clause, immediate disqualification for not wanting to register in the first place because the rules were that you must have had a sex operation to be eligible to participate. another clause below also needed you to be 3 legged or something like that :p
so my guess is that stuff like that happens in muay thai boxing and in thailand. where dreams do come true and you get to do your sex change operation because you won the money in the local muay thai boxing championship. of course you couldn't tell the organizers why you wanted to win so bad and yes, you had hell to pay. no make up, no nail polish, no lipstick!!! *LOLOL* BUT later you get to tell the whole world about how you came to be the woman you are and the hardest thing you had to do was to break your opponent's nose *andprefablyotherbodyparts* when all you can think of was HOW NOT TO because it so happens that your opponent is this chiselled faced man with a tight butt.
i laughed when i read the news but cried when i saw the movie.
have you ever feared for your life for somethings you need to come to a decision to? but you set aside the fear and get to a decision. then just when you thought you had it all planned out and kaboom! it hit you that making generalised pledges and promises does naught. and i just made this or so recent discovery when i was told i haven't been planning my life as i should. intentions are just not considered as good plans. so what good is promising to love another forever?! how do you plan to do it? your intention is good but i need details. how? when? define forever and love in the context of what you have just promised me *gagforcevomit* and when asked to go into details i usually try my very best to SEXPLAIN hence always putting both feet into mouth. worst case scenarios, feet into other orfices *hehehe*
but!!! the night is still not lost to my ramblings and hope you guys will make full use of the nights after :)
stay sane,
amyemeelea
so my guess is that stuff like that happens in muay thai boxing and in thailand. where dreams do come true and you get to do your sex change operation because you won the money in the local muay thai boxing championship. of course you couldn't tell the organizers why you wanted to win so bad and yes, you had hell to pay. no make up, no nail polish, no lipstick!!! *LOLOL* BUT later you get to tell the whole world about how you came to be the woman you are and the hardest thing you had to do was to break your opponent's nose *andprefablyotherbodyparts* when all you can think of was HOW NOT TO because it so happens that your opponent is this chiselled faced man with a tight butt.
i laughed when i read the news but cried when i saw the movie.
have you ever feared for your life for somethings you need to come to a decision to? but you set aside the fear and get to a decision. then just when you thought you had it all planned out and kaboom! it hit you that making generalised pledges and promises does naught. and i just made this or so recent discovery when i was told i haven't been planning my life as i should. intentions are just not considered as good plans. so what good is promising to love another forever?! how do you plan to do it? your intention is good but i need details. how? when? define forever and love in the context of what you have just promised me *gagforcevomit* and when asked to go into details i usually try my very best to SEXPLAIN hence always putting both feet into mouth. worst case scenarios, feet into other orfices *hehehe*
but!!! the night is still not lost to my ramblings and hope you guys will make full use of the nights after :)
stay sane,
amyemeelea
Saturday, September 23, 2006
Ramadhan...
i'm off to see the kids later and will be cracking my brains about how to entertain the 3 terrors without tiring myself out. terror 1 will be joining us the adults in training for ramadhan and i hope she will be able to take it. then, next week production will start and i'll be busy in the office. nights will be spent hopefully with terawih sessions and also finishing up my assigment due for 3rd of october. i just hope i won't miss anygoals or datelines. so far so good and i'm slowly picking up pace and space. will be on standby 24hours by the looks of it as i just want the delivery schedule to run smooth.
met up with faizal and imran last friday and as usual the guys crack me up. so good to see both doing so well and i can't wait for them to pass me the copy of the kl trip we took last year. haha! and that i know would be fun. imran bought a new honda *thebasket* and again had me think about his offer to work in his company. well, i hope i can see and make best out of the opporturnities given :p heavy duty convos man! but haven't had the time to really sit down to blog about it. there's more cos before that met up with zuq mermaid and had a blast watching jatt ali perform live! and i hope you'll get better babe ;) so before terror 1 starts calling me nons top i better make a run for it!
need to go now and will update soon and oh! selamat menjalankan ibadah pusasa sumer :)
stay sane,
amyemeelea
met up with faizal and imran last friday and as usual the guys crack me up. so good to see both doing so well and i can't wait for them to pass me the copy of the kl trip we took last year. haha! and that i know would be fun. imran bought a new honda *thebasket* and again had me think about his offer to work in his company. well, i hope i can see and make best out of the opporturnities given :p heavy duty convos man! but haven't had the time to really sit down to blog about it. there's more cos before that met up with zuq mermaid and had a blast watching jatt ali perform live! and i hope you'll get better babe ;) so before terror 1 starts calling me nons top i better make a run for it!
need to go now and will update soon and oh! selamat menjalankan ibadah pusasa sumer :)
stay sane,
amyemeelea
Monday, September 18, 2006
Loading freeloaders….
Tired, lonely nights bite into my body warmth and leave sharp icicles of needy wants embedded tight under my skin, they of which prick me black and blue. Although this makes me rub my hands in purposeful glee, so here I am updating my blog :P
Its been drizzling all day and I left the house in mid afternoon to see a friend who was willing to give me a job. Yes! A job! Albeit it would be, one that has no benefits whatsoever and pays only per project basis. The best jobs I have had in the past have always been recommendations from friends and ex colleagues who have an inkling of what I am worth so I have always expected them to be fair. So far, my experiences working in such given situations and arrangements have been great. Yes, the pay is not much. The stability incongruent only because these are usually family owned or self started businesses. I am not one who demands much, only enough to cover my overhead, pay the bills and usually never in full. The end bits here and there are for treats, usually reserved for my kids. I have not been shopping, eating out, watch movies or even had the budget to offer friends who I really care about a good time. So why I am seriously considering the offer then right? I actually already said yes because the way I see it, I’d rather be doing something new for minimum wage, also learn new skills and make new meaningful relationships in the process than earning more per hour working as a factory worker.
Someone told me I should just stamp the letters FOC in bold across my forehead. I laugh it off, of course as usual. Labels mean nothing to me and I’m in the midst of starting a personal collection anyway :p bobby chided me once that I should stop being a freeloader and that he has friends just like me, who tend to keep asking things for free or won’t do anything for free. The difference is that *ahems* with me is probably and usually because I’m NOT shy about saying yes to things given away FOR free or for a reasonable fee. Or maybe the repayment terms are right *usuallylong* and I won’t hesitate to say yes if I feel and know that I’d be good for repayment pronto in one way or another. one good turn deserves another! share and share alike! You scratch my back and I will gladly scratch yours! I could tell a good joke, bore you to tears, walk from outram mrt to city hall! You name it and I will do it for you if I you think I am worth the moolah and the time.
Therefore, the part that I am not going to be able to give as much as I want to give monetarily to the some of the most important people in my life made me think even harder. the guilt persists and the thought, if whether my selfish reasons for working on minimum wage is a good choice is bugging the hell out of me right now. This is because I’ve been on the receiving end for so long and it hurts to know that I’m not going to be able to give back in due time. Arghh! The agony…..
stay sane,
amyemeelea
ps: kalau ada apa-apa yang free, takmo malu tepon gua jer. freetime pong free jugak!
Its been drizzling all day and I left the house in mid afternoon to see a friend who was willing to give me a job. Yes! A job! Albeit it would be, one that has no benefits whatsoever and pays only per project basis. The best jobs I have had in the past have always been recommendations from friends and ex colleagues who have an inkling of what I am worth so I have always expected them to be fair. So far, my experiences working in such given situations and arrangements have been great. Yes, the pay is not much. The stability incongruent only because these are usually family owned or self started businesses. I am not one who demands much, only enough to cover my overhead, pay the bills and usually never in full. The end bits here and there are for treats, usually reserved for my kids. I have not been shopping, eating out, watch movies or even had the budget to offer friends who I really care about a good time. So why I am seriously considering the offer then right? I actually already said yes because the way I see it, I’d rather be doing something new for minimum wage, also learn new skills and make new meaningful relationships in the process than earning more per hour working as a factory worker.
Someone told me I should just stamp the letters FOC in bold across my forehead. I laugh it off, of course as usual. Labels mean nothing to me and I’m in the midst of starting a personal collection anyway :p bobby chided me once that I should stop being a freeloader and that he has friends just like me, who tend to keep asking things for free or won’t do anything for free. The difference is that *ahems* with me is probably and usually because I’m NOT shy about saying yes to things given away FOR free or for a reasonable fee. Or maybe the repayment terms are right *usuallylong* and I won’t hesitate to say yes if I feel and know that I’d be good for repayment pronto in one way or another. one good turn deserves another! share and share alike! You scratch my back and I will gladly scratch yours! I could tell a good joke, bore you to tears, walk from outram mrt to city hall! You name it and I will do it for you if I you think I am worth the moolah and the time.
Therefore, the part that I am not going to be able to give as much as I want to give monetarily to the some of the most important people in my life made me think even harder. the guilt persists and the thought, if whether my selfish reasons for working on minimum wage is a good choice is bugging the hell out of me right now. This is because I’ve been on the receiving end for so long and it hurts to know that I’m not going to be able to give back in due time. Arghh! The agony…..
stay sane,
amyemeelea
ps: kalau ada apa-apa yang free, takmo malu tepon gua jer. freetime pong free jugak!
Thursday, September 14, 2006
some things are not meant to be...
the week passed and as usual, the troughs of ups and downs this week bordered on both extremes. i think i am getting the hang of it. trying to let go the euphoria and fear that comes tagging along with every wave was fairly easy. i just had to make sure i rode firmly and easy and not get overboard. i went to more interviews and sucess came very close. so wish me luck again today :)
i met up with family over the weekend and that cheered me up tremendously. i was initially afraid that i'd be too happy since it was a sombre affair. bobby said i shouldn't feel that way since my family knows me very well and won't hold it up against me. my cousin just lost his wife to cancer but i'm glad to say he's one tough guy. we are one strong, very tight bunch so promises were made to meet up often. i also had lunches with my friends and caught up with thier busy lives. listened patiently to ex colleagues rant about work and patiently sieved through the nitty gritties of my daily life with as much patience i can muster in a single breath. all perfectionists are huge procastinators hehe so we put off to do the work needed just because we are afraid doing a lousy job on it :P *adejerreason*
i couldn't meet up with poww cos there was a slight change in plans but i'm really looking forward to see her when she gets back from new york *waves* wish i could have made it still but duty calls ;) just spoke to sham over the phone about the importance of having good self esteem. i know its hard to keep up when we fell so drabby and so unglam from taking up the responsibilties and thinking about the sacrifices we have made. but!! we have to remind ourselves that love does not judge. its more helpful to bring the insecurities into pure natural light and love all the flaws you see. neon flourescent light is never flattering ah! so jangan tka jadik ah kita nyer next date!!! *woooohooo!*
am i an extrovert or introvert?? that was the question that was posed to me over lunch the other day. i think i am an extrovert but i enjoy my bouts of solitude extremely which makes me an introvert? well, that was the opinion of ms noorticataitai anyway :P so ho hum...la di daaa..
stay sane,
amyemeelea
i met up with family over the weekend and that cheered me up tremendously. i was initially afraid that i'd be too happy since it was a sombre affair. bobby said i shouldn't feel that way since my family knows me very well and won't hold it up against me. my cousin just lost his wife to cancer but i'm glad to say he's one tough guy. we are one strong, very tight bunch so promises were made to meet up often. i also had lunches with my friends and caught up with thier busy lives. listened patiently to ex colleagues rant about work and patiently sieved through the nitty gritties of my daily life with as much patience i can muster in a single breath. all perfectionists are huge procastinators hehe so we put off to do the work needed just because we are afraid doing a lousy job on it :P *adejerreason*
i couldn't meet up with poww cos there was a slight change in plans but i'm really looking forward to see her when she gets back from new york *waves* wish i could have made it still but duty calls ;) just spoke to sham over the phone about the importance of having good self esteem. i know its hard to keep up when we fell so drabby and so unglam from taking up the responsibilties and thinking about the sacrifices we have made. but!! we have to remind ourselves that love does not judge. its more helpful to bring the insecurities into pure natural light and love all the flaws you see. neon flourescent light is never flattering ah! so jangan tka jadik ah kita nyer next date!!! *woooohooo!*
am i an extrovert or introvert?? that was the question that was posed to me over lunch the other day. i think i am an extrovert but i enjoy my bouts of solitude extremely which makes me an introvert? well, that was the opinion of ms noorticataitai anyway :P so ho hum...la di daaa..
stay sane,
amyemeelea
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
This is before I go…
Finally the call came for me to pick up my cheque!! But immediately after I plagued by daymares. The thought of trying to do everything at once and the thought of having to think of where the next pay cheque comes. Everytime I see someone, the first thing they ask is whether I have gotten a job *sheesh* and then I stutter before affirming their heartfelt, practical question. I went back to sleep in hopes that I could really enjoy the feeling of lying in bed and drowning whatever sleepiness from before. I wanted to just drown in the smells of my bed. I just wanted to block the incessant cries of get up and do something…I just wanted to enjoy being in bed.
I know I won’t be able to do this when I finally start work. It is something that I really look forward too. it is something that I hope will drown the howling cries of responsibilities I need to fulfill. As my being is being pulled in different directions I try to focus on only one. Which is to fill my self with gratitude. No matter how small no matter how big it might shine at me, I wouldn’t give anything up to truly be in the NOW. full stop. end guilt *muehehehe*
So, off I go to collect and my dues and run some errands. In hopes that the wind blows at me gently to bring me close to all that I hold dear. Every step I take will be in prayer that I will be able to experience life as it is. no more no less. I wonder what today brings! But I know that whatever comes I’ll be ready, no more stuttering, no more sheepish smiles, no more blushing cheeks and no more halted steps!
Onward walk, march then to run. To grab the moment as it comes.
"I think the reason we don't organise society in that way can be summed up in the aphorism, 'idle hands are the devil's tool'. In other words, institutions fear idle populations because an Idler is a thinker and thinkers are not welcome addition to most social situations. Thinkers become malcontents, that's almost a substitute word for idle, 'malcontent'. Essentially we are all kept very busy...under no circumstances are you to quietly inspect the contents of your own mind. Freud called introspection 'morbid' - unhealthy, introverted, anti-social, possibley neurotic, potentially pathological." - Terence Mckenna
Yahoo! Yeabedabedooo!!! The rain has stopped and away the fleeting memories of my daymares :) floating away above the winds, that still reminds me! Gua bau busyuk ah…belum mandi hehehehehehe……yea yea…anak dara femalas! Matahari da naik dinihari baru nak bangun :p *oops* otey so I’m not the anak dara ah! >)
Stay sane,
amyemeelea
I know I won’t be able to do this when I finally start work. It is something that I really look forward too. it is something that I hope will drown the howling cries of responsibilities I need to fulfill. As my being is being pulled in different directions I try to focus on only one. Which is to fill my self with gratitude. No matter how small no matter how big it might shine at me, I wouldn’t give anything up to truly be in the NOW. full stop. end guilt *muehehehe*
So, off I go to collect and my dues and run some errands. In hopes that the wind blows at me gently to bring me close to all that I hold dear. Every step I take will be in prayer that I will be able to experience life as it is. no more no less. I wonder what today brings! But I know that whatever comes I’ll be ready, no more stuttering, no more sheepish smiles, no more blushing cheeks and no more halted steps!
Onward walk, march then to run. To grab the moment as it comes.
"I think the reason we don't organise society in that way can be summed up in the aphorism, 'idle hands are the devil's tool'. In other words, institutions fear idle populations because an Idler is a thinker and thinkers are not welcome addition to most social situations. Thinkers become malcontents, that's almost a substitute word for idle, 'malcontent'. Essentially we are all kept very busy...under no circumstances are you to quietly inspect the contents of your own mind. Freud called introspection 'morbid' - unhealthy, introverted, anti-social, possibley neurotic, potentially pathological." - Terence Mckenna
Yahoo! Yeabedabedooo!!! The rain has stopped and away the fleeting memories of my daymares :) floating away above the winds, that still reminds me! Gua bau busyuk ah…belum mandi hehehehehehe……yea yea…anak dara femalas! Matahari da naik dinihari baru nak bangun :p *oops* otey so I’m not the anak dara ah! >)
Stay sane,
amyemeelea
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
