Going back to roots..

Bibik passed me a few links to stuff and only today I got to run through them properly. Enough sleep and a bit of java ingested made it much more clearer and intresting :P trust me, reading when one is only focused on rest and sleep is a big no no…

I have always wondered about my genealogy, wanting to trace my roots all the way back in time but with both my parents and grandparents long gone, it kinda difficult to get started. I dimly remember occasions where mum or dad would go into a long spiel about both our family histories. Who married who and had so many children and family heirlooms about eternal conflicts laced with many warnings of what you should and should not do completes bits and pieces of my memory. Bobby once remarked that he can’t seem to remember these bits of information about my family and often wondered aloud how the hell did I come up with these bits of family trivia. but i know he remembers, you see..i suspect bobby is seriously repressing his childhood. WE all can remember, just like cases when we can dimly remember a past life ;) But we both agreed *oratleastido* that I have always been pretty intutive and attentive *kaypoh* since young.

Of many, my mom was the one who influenced me much. Even if I didn’t have much of a relationship with her till the day she passed on. Sorely jealous that I didn’t get the same attention or so I felt from the rest of my siblings, physically I withdrew myself from her efforts. But her stories HAVE always fascinated me. She worked all her life and happiest when she was her own boss. So she was once and all at once a teacher, a healer, a mechanic, a driver, a trader, an amah *ormaid* a cook and tourist guide extradinaire!
She preferred self autonomy *hehe* much like me now. Our quality time with her was ALL the time but my selfishness did not make me realise then how she tried to immerse us both into her life. She brought us everywhere much to my chagrin because who cares about being ‘carpark coupon’ or I term I used ‘accesory’. My life growing up could have been another episode of karate kid for all I care :P but the trips to arab street where she used to act as middleman for spices and electronics are still fresh. And who could forget the throngs of people always in and out from the house?! As it is, I was always surrounded by children because it was my duty to help and entertain them when the parents needed my mom for one reason after another. or the holidays she planned for the family, always big, huge and grand. It could be a road trip through all the states in malaysia in our 800cc car *haha* or a weekend in one kampong after another for local fruits galore! So yes…it rings very much true, you won’t know what you miss UNTIL it is long gone ;)

So, if I had to start the family tree patriach-ticulary, then I have to start on my dad’s side of the family first. When before I felt I had most in common with my dad whose dad was indian from malacca, now the stirrings in my blood is calling closest to my mom. Not much was said about my maternal grandfather but he was banjarese, from kalimantan. So where do I start?! Am I indian or banjarese? And so what if my identity card says I am malay :D being malay means I am a culmination of many races from the eaons of yesteryears as explained below.

“The Malay Archipelago refers to the thousands of islands which make up five countries today: Malaysia, Indonesia, Brunei, the Philippines and Singapore. The term “Melayu” is even older and dates back to the ancient kingdom of Srivijaya (6th–10th century). The Malay people settled in the pasisir (riverine/coastal) regions of the Malay Peninsula, Sumatra and Borneo. While the initial Indianisation of the region left Hindu and Buddhist imprints, these were replaced by Islamic influences as early as the 11th or 12th century. This gave rise to Muslim sultanates with a fairly uniform language, religion and cultural practices. – aksara the passage of malay scripts exhibition”

but! The solution will be then to do research on both and if god wills pass in on to the 3 terrors finished or unfinished : ) whoa! HUGE project man!!!!! But it is to take one little step of a time and better it start now.

Stay sane,
Amyemeelea

Walking the yellow brick road..

....Or in this case, jalan merah saga. There were 4 dotties and all of them wore red shoes. I spied a pair in patent red, lace red, plastic red and fabric? Or was it red leather? :D the ladies strutted in black and when two paired to wear pants, the other two came in skirts! *syncronicity!* ;) The walk up or long trek for 1 dotty and down was to create; first hunger then last to digest all the yummylicious food. Cats galore in oranges! Black! All shapes and sizes with swallowed-frog-tails *jempot-jempot* and not short of shy ones, horny ones *hehe* or just too-cute-i-wanna-catnap-it-home-fat-one slipped through the quirky inspired dotty's fingers because the fat cat was locked up. Sentences hung in mid air to bursts of laughter and fingers pointing afar *tonothing* turned out to be profoundly pointing into seeing the future! *phew*

Dim lights from dancing candles, lit the each softly accentuated faces in different shades of ideals and hopes. At times, the face from an angle shied away from the torrent of trivia and prying questions but the intensity of honesty, made each dotty reveal herself as who she is. And that was the true ‘Kodak moment’ *muahahah* or Nikon or Canon lar! The classics laced the night as incidents where they managed to burn happy trainee hazel from the Philippines, whom slat-dotty and quirky-dotty agree was CUTE. Sinus-dotty broke out of her shell and transformed herself into sexy-dotty soon after being drilled dry on world history and politics. And original-dotty was the epitome of coolness but turned into a very, very giggly dotty especially after slat-dotty tried to order “lab rack” to devour because she felt like meat.

As they huddled together trying to stretch the time to just another one more drink, all of them polished pearls safely tucked in the very meaty oyster called the rest of the world, they each in their own way paid silent tribute and toasted the night with another promise to meet again. Later, after being gently reminded that the restaurant was about to close, they skipped all the way back clicking their shoes when cool-dotty went all flighty upon the chanced find of a curio shop! Filled with wanderlust she went missing when asked to pose for a picture :P the dotty spirits contentedly drunk with the nights events made way their way home. And not a single soul was not in daffodil bloom on that dewy, romantic no constellations in sight night.

How can you get very far,
If you don’t know Who You Are?
How can you do what you ought,
If you don’t know What You’ve Got?
And if you don’t know Which To Do
Of all the things in front of you,
Then what you’ll have when you are through
Is just a mess without a clue
If you know What and Which and Who.

Winnie the Pooh
~~the Tao of Pooh~~

stay sane,
amyemeelea

Ephemeral Love...

Dreams Of Love

Artist - Evelyn Kok

www.artinmission.com

"Love has been a great inspiration to painters since the beginning of time, poets and song writers alike. A painting that depicts love conjures the fufillment of relishing fantasies and the conciousness of how the heart lives in our dreams."

it is confirmed!!! the above painting is to be MINEEEEEE...... *laughslikehyenaonmarijuana* so many beautiful memories we had evie and me. we lived in a penthouse *okaylarrsowewereonthetopflooronie* of a condo in bukit timah and those were some of the happiest times of my life. oh! how we daydreamed and filled ourself with the drunken love *hiccup* and even till the end when we had to part our own ways, i will remember the rushed mornings and the giddiness of late nights, to us...'Hell is other people - Sartre' :D i found you again evie!! though you were never really lost *blush* and am so glad you remained pure, true to your beliefs which at bottom purposelss and ego-less - called by the Master truly 'spiritual'....so i am going to catch you before you fly away to the states again to unite with your true love while i save the moolah to bring the above baby back home with me *kish* so for those intrested in evie's paintings you can just click on her website and drop her a note. but please ah..the above has been booked :)

on the way back on the bus, got on 3 way sms that turned 4 way and magically turned into a DATE *beams* it will be loads of fun for sure darlings and i can't wait ;) i'll make sure powwsters or any of us don't turn into pumpkins otey! and bibik darl...it will be my utmost pleasure to dazzle you all at once with the stories of old *scheherezade!* or cheekily naughty 'O' *slurps!* and as i spy the wonderdiva once again smirks prettily in her corner...yesh...she deserves all the candies and love we care to share *chaaaaaak!!!*

oh!! and i saw my elder bro, don_bugis on teevee today on the news! it was something on SIA bla bla bla but there i was screaming my head off pointing to no-one how smart he looked! i feel like a school girl all flustered and excited just seeing him on teevee. eh news okay! :) and he ain't heavy he's my bro! of course, i know i can get to see him in person anytime and it is about due already to pay him a visit soon. not only the 3 terrors miss him but i do too *sob* my eldest sis and bobby celebrated their birthdays on the 21st and 20th of April respectively and happy that bobby got my prezzie first. have to thank shikino for the spying and *ahems* and must try to call my sis in frisco soonest. wish her a belated beshday and hook the 3 terrors up to sing her a beshday song! *nodnod* yeaps...just hope i don't make her cry cry and scream wanting to come back hehe...oh! to all april babies hepi burstday babes!!

short bursts of ephemeral love, which is all at once fleeting and transient....it is to be relished and brought close to ones heart no doubt as one would guard a simple spark so that it might spread into wildfire, burning every inch of your soul willing it to mark supreme forever.

stay sane,

amyemeelea

being still..

after hibernating for the last 24 hours *yawns* sorry guys...but last week i had another rush to my head what with work and endless i-need-to-do-this -for-*fillintheblanks* so i ended up with major migraine!! i had a night out with ms.noorticataitai last thurday and i'm glad she loved the night out and we shared more of ourselves to each other. it was the night of arrows flown to hit intended marks and an arrow of mine intended for cylernkilla went wayward! or so i think :p

switched on pc and soOooo many things to read and devour! *sohappyicriedthingy* now listening to damien rice. i find him familiar but where, when and how, i haven't figured it out yet. the song Amie made me a-buzz new with melancholy. so does that song make you think of moi bibik??? *poutsmentel* i like songs like that and how many of you have read the french novel 'O'? or was he singing about the stories of 'old'? both oso i love, me the storyteller! i think i have a copy of it somewhere!! someone recommended it to me and said it was waaaaAAyy obscene ler :D and when i find it bibik, i will find a spot where we can see the stars and while i sit on your lap, i can read you my fave chapters ;) and we'll play this song to remind us that if we believe in it enough, the end of the century WILL bring change to you and me. poww bley jadik the deejay pastue kita suruh sham belly dance *muehehe*

the guys at the office are raving about the new decor. apparently a lot of money is to be pumped in for renovation. so far they have seen 3 interior designers but nothing has been confirmed yet. i don't even know when we'd be moving! and we haven't even packed anything. well, i have done bits of my own anyway. the office has also been interviewing for new staff and i so wish i could update on my blog about the selected interviewees! *faints* but now i have to think of what to wear tomorrow, then plan my route to work and back. then of course i need to WRITE.

stay sane,
amyemeelea

.....

Your name is upon my tongue,

Your image is in my sight,

Your memory is in my heart:

Whither then shall I write?

~~Laila & Majnun~~

was supposed to file my taxes but that could wait. instead i got lost in john hughes and sunsets and wombat man steals the bits with scenes of buffy. the gals kept me smiling via msn while i relaxed and all i could feel is love.

Poison is right good to sup

When the fair one fills the cup;

Bitter words are sweet to hear

When the speker is most dear.

Full of savour is my love,

Salt of wit, as I can prove;

Very pleasant is its smart

Rubbed into my wounded heart.

And god knows best.

~~Rumi~~

stay sane,

amyemeelea

The truth is stranger than fiction…

To quote edgar allan poe in his poem ‘the thousand and second tale of scheherezade’ as I begin this entry with my lament that many *notall* people hardly listen anymore. And why do I say this? Today I spoke to a caller looking for my ex colleague and when I mentioned that she is no longer with us, she offered only silence. I encouraged her by asking what was it about and if I could put her to ‘someone who could help’. To my surprise she quickly said, ‘yes! Please put me to ms.someonewhocanhelp….’ *hehe* I couldn’t laugh because I was sooooOoo surprised. Or maybe it was my heavily accented english perhaps? But after many more incidents that I soon recalled afterwards; when it wasn’t too crazy in the office, did I the impact of the truth hit me.

Mr. Network-lefty passed me more articles to read about lefties of the world uniting and rampart political apathy surrounding the citizens od singapore continued to bug me on and off. The rise of china and india is frightening to say the least as globalisation slowly but furiously infiltrates. TIA or Total Information Awareness that was killed in 2003 is suddenly been given a rebirth as RAHS-rahs in singy, and I suspect will continue to fuel our intrinsic sense of paranoia from big bro. beware of terrorism!!! :PAnd we just HAD this talk about the importance of freedom of speech. While I still continue to read through fronltline’s headlines, the further exploration of RAHS-rahs uses and affects to all of us too will continue, while WE have to sit back and watch. Yes………watch…….as we try yet again at beating the rest of the world in being first to conduct this very egombitious *egoistic+ambitious* as reprted to be the largest data snoop doggy dog effort in the world.

Then a trip to a local disco in pretense to chaperone my niece turned out to be a trip to the police station. Apparently, the boys got into a scuffle and as broken glasses flew, resulting in a bloodied hero the whole gang was dragged outside to be interogated. Security of course had to call the police and the police haaaaaaad to drag the boys to the station even though the were many protests of innocence from witnesses. My niece, whose hero was drunk and dragged too at most confused to be an active part of the scuffle was soon beside me wailing for me to help if I could clear the misunderstanding. Well, I was the appointed chaperone so I went outside to speak to the officers. None of them paid any attention to me *tooshorttooskinny* because the whole lot of them were busy talking to each other *duh!* asking what happened and busily writing down things said in those tiny flip open notepads they had and ONE piggy, was happily shouting to the lot of boys *yestheyareboysat19&20* plastic-cuffed in the van asking for their ages. He kept asking for their ages and relationship to each other and wham! The boys were trapped. I calmed the girls down and told them it was just a case of misunderstanding and clearly the boys just had to tell the truth and they would be released. I mean we were the ones falsely accused and assulted in the first place! So there shouldn’t be any cause to worry. Older boy was drunk and a simple dance move turned out to be a huge bump and probably hit an open wound to cause the boy to explode in rage. “See!! I told you not to dance on the steps” I added without the sarcasm of course. The poor girls were sooOoo worried. So I asked the girls if they wanted to go to the station themselves to lodge a report against the older boy who started it all. It would help to clear their worry to become actively involved and they had a right to lodge an assult report. Maybe it could be used to help the innocents too.

They didn’t understand me at first, as to how they could help but after slowly telling them simply that their statements is to be used as a protection for (in case someone else says something and they too would be dragged to the station later) them and as added support to their boyfriends’ statements, we took a taxi down to the same station where the boys were. I took down the names and contact numbers of the security guys who scoffed at my meddling ways *theycalledmeCID* and who likes to be called a pig! *sniggers* and when we met at the station, only two girls were allowed in. I was too far away to be a credible witness I told myself (but how did this guy at the gate knew? He wasn’t there wot!) so the three of us had to wait for the other two to finish outside. The other two had blood splattered on their clothes anyway so ho-hum. Guess what….the girls emerged dejected half an hour later and told me that they were refused. They were told to go home and said *pastesstickeronthierforeheads* ‘not needed’. It was ridiculous! I asked them if they explained their intent clearly in the first place, which is to ‘report an assult by an unknown drunk boy in a club just moments before and that BOY is currently being interogated here right now!’. Who said anything about them needing US. We NEED THEM to take down our complaint! The two girls, probably drunk *orstupidorBOTH* looked at me limply and repeatedly said the police were the ones who convinced them that they had no business here right now and were shooed away home. *gaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!* but their consolation was that their numbers were taken and promised that they would be rung when the investigative officer feels that he needs to beef up his report with some meat. So okay lor….happy lar *blueek*

I could have hit my head there on the pavement but I didn’t of course. Nagged the girls a bit about the importance of knowing your rights and warned them not to stay ignorant for too long and sham and me took a cab home. What a perfect ending to a noisy night made possible by mind-deaf peeps. I could go on and on and OOOOoooooon but I have loads of reading to do.

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us. – Ralph Waldo Emerson”

Stay sane,
amyemeelea