It was maybe me dancing the chacha or really it was a brush with dengue or I will never know if it really was an allergic reaction to the antibiotics I was taking right after the op?! But me much better now. Feeling very much myself over the sun, moon and stars thanking Him for another day to be breathing. It was supposed to be a rock and rolling weekend with the terrors and my ex school mates whom I so so much dearly miss but oh my god! I was in so much pain. The never ending fevers through the nights and the ache in my bones finally breaking out in rash all over. My face was all blotchy, you wouldn’t have recognised me. I was also teary…I kept crying and thinking if this was ‘the end’. *hehe* yeaps…me the sick wimp. I was thinking about my will of debts :p but most of all my loved loved ones *snnnnIFFFFFFFsnoort*
So with all I’ve got plus a helping hand from a concerned one, I took the trip to the docs and hurray! The doc confirmed nothing cept for the leftover cyst to be smaller *saysmuchthankyoutoHim* then prescribed me more meds for the combo of fever and rash. I still saw the terrors last weekend but I think I freaked them out because I distinctly remember the 3 terrified terrors all around me telling me not to die *bawlseeyesout* and there I was not being able to move or say much cept to calm them down and tell them that mama’s going to be ALLRIGHT so keep praying hard. Hats off to Sham when I think of the times she was down and still had to cook, clean and care for the boys. Gosh! I felt so helpless and aha, nanin and lindot, “I heart you guys so much and thank you for the bbq we didn’t manage to attend! The food looked yummylicious and you guys were picture perfect as usual!” I never want to be sick ever again! Kak tina and Guy were so accomodating, they made sure I had the support when needed, the coconut juice was refreshing ;) The kids roamed around freely and did complain that this was the most boring weekend evar! A short stint lighting lanterns and then fireworks at the corridor. Best was that, terror 2 scored major points when he refused to go bazaar a walking to take care of me at home. We watched Harry Potter, then he tucked me in, rubbed calamine lotion all over my red hot body and told me how much he loved me. THAT is my hero in the making. Nope! Hands of all those girls out there, this is here mama’s BOY! :P I.just.can’t.forget. HOW.so spaced out by the drugs I was! The weekend was like a really bad trip or when tempered down, a cool pink floyd clip *muehehee* I thought of what shikino must have gone through while doing radiotheraphy and school! Wahlau! She deserve those 2 gold medals man! Give my sis in law a baby already! :) so please take care of yourselves peeps…morbidity in small doses can be really painful and when escalates! *gahhhhhhhhhh!* like me…turn into such a baybeee!
Maybe it could be seen still from my entry today? So scatterbrained still. so many conversations to pick up from where they have been shelved for time outs. Nazi concetration camps that’s one. Is humiliating another the worst thing you can do to someone? Is revenge the sweetest when its right on the jugular and more? On sanity versus madness, that’s another one. On why a certain someone says no to a perfectly planned day out, that’s another good one. On doing the dissapearing act and go ‘tata…goodbye and so long’ that’s another good one. On cheating tales! Wah very juicy *winkwink* and for the rest that I can’t really remember cos my arms so very the ache now and I don’t know why. So its to pen and paper till I can properly type again :)
Stay sane, <---- that’s another one! What is the meaning of being sane??
Jahatamyemeelea
ps: salam ramadhan to all...although i haven't been able to fufill my ends very well. Salam Nuzul Al Quran to those who are a looking :) May the night of all nights be yours for the taking..
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Friday, September 14, 2007
from the harem network..*cough*
Spent the day at work yesterday walking around like a zombie and actually took a 1 hour lunch nap in the office toilet. I was feeling dat bad from the flu and mounting fever. Towards the end of the day, felt better and managed to get through social psychology mcq test :) it wasn’t so bad so I took heart and rest. I had thought that the small day op for the cyst might not have been able to go through but with His grace, I mananged fine this morning, the fever came down and all went well. I think it was the shock of it all, my exams, new job sucks, new colleagues suck, lady boss is a *ho-hum* and to know that my grogginess and bouts of flu and all was about this rambutan tree growing in my stomach was a bit too much. After my last few skrimishes with all manner of growth from neck down, of course I didn’t want to take any chances so opted for the fastest way to get things done. Way more expensive if you ask me! >( but better now then say when medical expenses in singy start to really be the biggest bugger of all. This was all a bit last minute in informing the office though so da boss was very sceptical about my sick leave. Especially when I told her that I was going to do this small op and will be knocked out for 2 days. Her reason was that her friend went for this op too and got sick leave for 1 week so ‘how can she only get 2 days’, also heard through the grapevine *whywhycan’theysayittomyface* that she isn’t too happy about me being sick cos its unfair for the rest of the staff. Seeing that I’m new and everything. Well, I think it is because she’d rather have me infect the whole office with my blues *theflu!too* and have a slumping, do it for the company kinda very loyal work till I die type of employee than someone who is conscientious about her health and wellbeing hence taking time of to rest and generally only give off good vibes at the office. Arghhh! What we all do for money ehk? :)
Ramadhan is here again, and the weather has been very cool and forgiving. I don’t think I can start fasting soon enough because I have to take my antibiotics *amust!* for at least 5 days. Lets see how well I can juggle that. The two bright spots of my day came from biksetan and wombatman! Who took the blues away with simple smses *hehe* i want your breakfast ah!!!! and then the other was very kind to pick me back home to make sure I have enough rest from the op. At home, Bobby was bright and cheery! He has finally decided on a degree course at SIM and hopefully will get that scholarship to start his semester in january 2008. I have been thinking about that Specialist diploma too and thinking if it would be better for me to go straight for my degree in Psychology by just adding a few bit more to my current study loan *shivers* but other was right. Concentrate on my current responsibilities and don’t stretch myself too thin.
Health is IMPORTANT! And good friends, family and close loved ones. Life is not all about MONEY, STATUS and leading a company. No matter how much you think you are giving back to society by paying us salary, its not the dollars and cents at the end of the day that makes you a good boss. A respected and look upon leader as someone whom you can emulate must be able to connect and integrate positive values with the company’s goals and vision to grow. And its rewards are rarely short-term. A company with a leader, all at once who is compassionate and who can provide meaning to the core work being done daily will not have to worry about having staff with the wrong attitude. They will simply just ‘attract’ the right people and these people will be loyal and hardworking after working out the pros and cons. The office is your 2nd home is it not? Or maybe you do not have a home? Or never knew what and where home is and will be for you? :( are people to you another set of values in numbers? Have we no pride that you can scream, “I am going to kill you!!!” at the top of your lungs and take it that you have pms? Well, there is something about you that I can’t put my finger on but let time tell.
You may pride yourself for being “right” all the time, but such inflexibility does not always guarantee a future. What about conscience and morality? “Man is not a moral animal in the sense of possessing a special trait or virtue; he has built a kind of social enviroment which induces him to behave in moral ways” wrote B.F Skinner as he once observed in his book about how, like all animals, humans are creatures shaped by their environment – but we also have the ability to adjust or create new environments. So if you want to built a successful company with a loadful of self motivated employees, think about the culture and environment that YOU are building and projecting yourself. WE can’t change a mind. WE can only change the environment that may prompt someone to act differentl... so think about it boss! Your irritability and many faced attitudes are making frankensteins out of us. Or haven’t you realised that already maybe thinking that its all just a touch of side effects to your midas touch? For now, after 3 weeks, I am merely an observer. Thinking what have I gotten myself into for a jump up of 300 bucks to my end month pay packet. Of course I owe you my gratitude for bringing me on board to maybe and hopefully share and be able to create a difference. But seriously ah….I rather be wise and compassionate than another Sir Napoleon Bonarparte! Be how like God rather How like Dog!
so its another roll in the hay for me while i look over yonder for much much greener pastures *blueeeeeek!* see you in the office tomorrow! with a huge smile on my face that says i am thankful i have sooooOoooo many people concerned about my health and wellbeing which is why this skip in my walk, whereas you have only profit and loss to balance your love and concern chequebook *ouch!*
stay sane,
amyemeelea
Ramadhan is here again, and the weather has been very cool and forgiving. I don’t think I can start fasting soon enough because I have to take my antibiotics *amust!* for at least 5 days. Lets see how well I can juggle that. The two bright spots of my day came from biksetan and wombatman! Who took the blues away with simple smses *hehe* i want your breakfast ah!!!! and then the other was very kind to pick me back home to make sure I have enough rest from the op. At home, Bobby was bright and cheery! He has finally decided on a degree course at SIM and hopefully will get that scholarship to start his semester in january 2008. I have been thinking about that Specialist diploma too and thinking if it would be better for me to go straight for my degree in Psychology by just adding a few bit more to my current study loan *shivers* but other was right. Concentrate on my current responsibilities and don’t stretch myself too thin.
Health is IMPORTANT! And good friends, family and close loved ones. Life is not all about MONEY, STATUS and leading a company. No matter how much you think you are giving back to society by paying us salary, its not the dollars and cents at the end of the day that makes you a good boss. A respected and look upon leader as someone whom you can emulate must be able to connect and integrate positive values with the company’s goals and vision to grow. And its rewards are rarely short-term. A company with a leader, all at once who is compassionate and who can provide meaning to the core work being done daily will not have to worry about having staff with the wrong attitude. They will simply just ‘attract’ the right people and these people will be loyal and hardworking after working out the pros and cons. The office is your 2nd home is it not? Or maybe you do not have a home? Or never knew what and where home is and will be for you? :( are people to you another set of values in numbers? Have we no pride that you can scream, “I am going to kill you!!!” at the top of your lungs and take it that you have pms? Well, there is something about you that I can’t put my finger on but let time tell.
You may pride yourself for being “right” all the time, but such inflexibility does not always guarantee a future. What about conscience and morality? “Man is not a moral animal in the sense of possessing a special trait or virtue; he has built a kind of social enviroment which induces him to behave in moral ways” wrote B.F Skinner as he once observed in his book about how, like all animals, humans are creatures shaped by their environment – but we also have the ability to adjust or create new environments. So if you want to built a successful company with a loadful of self motivated employees, think about the culture and environment that YOU are building and projecting yourself. WE can’t change a mind. WE can only change the environment that may prompt someone to act differentl... so think about it boss! Your irritability and many faced attitudes are making frankensteins out of us. Or haven’t you realised that already maybe thinking that its all just a touch of side effects to your midas touch? For now, after 3 weeks, I am merely an observer. Thinking what have I gotten myself into for a jump up of 300 bucks to my end month pay packet. Of course I owe you my gratitude for bringing me on board to maybe and hopefully share and be able to create a difference. But seriously ah….I rather be wise and compassionate than another Sir Napoleon Bonarparte! Be how like God rather How like Dog!
so its another roll in the hay for me while i look over yonder for much much greener pastures *blueeeeeek!* see you in the office tomorrow! with a huge smile on my face that says i am thankful i have sooooOoooo many people concerned about my health and wellbeing which is why this skip in my walk, whereas you have only profit and loss to balance your love and concern chequebook *ouch!*
stay sane,
amyemeelea
Monday, September 03, 2007
Another wedding!
Interesting…
“It is wrong to think that love comes from long companionship and persevering courtship. Love is the offspring of spiritual affinity and unless that affinity is created in a moment, it will not be created for years or even generations” – Khalil Gibran
Two of my nephews finished their Al Quran studies and so my elder bro; the fourth in the family decided to have a prayer session to give thanks for their achievements. My sister-in-law’s niece was getting married so they had both events together last weekend. It was somewhere in Jurong as usual under the voideck, yet another opportunity for all of us, close cousins and family to get together. ALL of my siblings were present except for my dear sis in states and I felt so girly out of a sudden to be the only girl flanked my 3 elder bros and bobby. We ate and sat around catching up after hearing the careful renditions of the surahs by both Zulfikar and Luqman to mark end their studies while congratulations were offered all around. Its not easy okay to actually read the Al Quran in front of soooooo many people! Zulfikar the older one, faltered and looked so tense while Lukman was confident and managed to carry a tune even. Nevertheless, we were very proud of both of them. I for one, can't read the Al Quran *blush* but learnt the surahs by memory so this was another reason to buck up! The dais was then taken up by the bride and groom who hogged the limelight. The family taking the opportunity to take pictures and we were just basking in good company when my aunt broke the reverie by asking my elder bro to find a girl for my cousin. She wanted him to act as matchmaker! *gasp* for her eldest son who is still single. She specifically asked for a ‘good girl’ and we all knew what that meant. The intended girl must fulfil all the basics and even more. Isn’t that all we mothers hope for our sons one day? To marry an honourable, virtuous, graceful and beautiful woman? My bro replied that no mother will get what she asks for to the incredulous looks around him. And for maximum impact he added that no mother in law will get a kind daughter in law. I could see the contorted faces and I pressed closer to dare ask my bro to explain.
It is simply difficult my brother said because of the following reason :-
“that the girl was brought up and fed by another family so how can what we deem as good and kind as a family be ever the same?”
BUT as long as these basics were fulfilled then chances are that the daughter in law will be the best that she can be for her husband, her children and family. Which is:-
1) she has the blessing of both her in laws to be part of the family. They too must like, respect and honour her as a person.
2) The husband is willing to act as guide and not fail to fulfil any one of the basics that is to provide her with her basic needs for food, shelter and protection.
3) And to not stop ‘hoping’ (to pray ler) to be blessed and fulfilled with a girl who is able and willing to be part of the family. Even after the wedding okay…
“It is wrong to think that love comes from long companionship and persevering courtship. Love is the offspring of spiritual affinity and unless that affinity is created in a moment, it will not be created for years or even generations” – Khalil Gibran
Two of my nephews finished their Al Quran studies and so my elder bro; the fourth in the family decided to have a prayer session to give thanks for their achievements. My sister-in-law’s niece was getting married so they had both events together last weekend. It was somewhere in Jurong as usual under the voideck, yet another opportunity for all of us, close cousins and family to get together. ALL of my siblings were present except for my dear sis in states and I felt so girly out of a sudden to be the only girl flanked my 3 elder bros and bobby. We ate and sat around catching up after hearing the careful renditions of the surahs by both Zulfikar and Luqman to mark end their studies while congratulations were offered all around. Its not easy okay to actually read the Al Quran in front of soooooo many people! Zulfikar the older one, faltered and looked so tense while Lukman was confident and managed to carry a tune even. Nevertheless, we were very proud of both of them. I for one, can't read the Al Quran *blush* but learnt the surahs by memory so this was another reason to buck up! The dais was then taken up by the bride and groom who hogged the limelight. The family taking the opportunity to take pictures and we were just basking in good company when my aunt broke the reverie by asking my elder bro to find a girl for my cousin. She wanted him to act as matchmaker! *gasp* for her eldest son who is still single. She specifically asked for a ‘good girl’ and we all knew what that meant. The intended girl must fulfil all the basics and even more. Isn’t that all we mothers hope for our sons one day? To marry an honourable, virtuous, graceful and beautiful woman? My bro replied that no mother will get what she asks for to the incredulous looks around him. And for maximum impact he added that no mother in law will get a kind daughter in law. I could see the contorted faces and I pressed closer to dare ask my bro to explain.
It is simply difficult my brother said because of the following reason :-
“that the girl was brought up and fed by another family so how can what we deem as good and kind as a family be ever the same?”
BUT as long as these basics were fulfilled then chances are that the daughter in law will be the best that she can be for her husband, her children and family. Which is:-
1) she has the blessing of both her in laws to be part of the family. They too must like, respect and honour her as a person.
2) The husband is willing to act as guide and not fail to fulfil any one of the basics that is to provide her with her basic needs for food, shelter and protection.
3) And to not stop ‘hoping’ (to pray ler) to be blessed and fulfilled with a girl who is able and willing to be part of the family. Even after the wedding okay…
so many fulfillments siak, i felt full full *hehe* but this was no time to be joking around so very serious looking elders. ... but in all the full fulls...i know it is for the greater good ;)
Basically, he didn’t want the family to worry about my cousin. No intrusion needed was what he tried to emphasise. SUKA-SUKA or willing-willing errr….happy-happy? But I think it was brilliant! Why add the pressure right? My aunts then went to pick on the rest of the girls from his last relationships. One didn’t want to convert to be a muslim. Another went on ahead to marry another but still wants to be ‘friends’ and bla bla bla when suddenly as they turned the question to me. When was I getting married?! “If He wills” was all that I could reply. My recently widowed cousin who lost his wife to cancer became my scapegoat and add, “I’m actually waiting for him to remarry!” but he said he’s afraid that his wife will haunt him from the grave if he ever did and we all laughed it away. He whispered that, it’d be easy then for my future husband because he doesn’t have to worry about the blessing part from my parents as both of them have passed on but then there is a question about my siblings ;) to which shikino exclaimed bobby’s importance in my future union. Somehow, his whisper managed to move around the table. Yeaps, bobby vowed to check his account balance and whatever before my intended could ever get approval *prrft* with support from kak fatimah, who said it is imperative for our siblings to final aprrove my choice. Arghhh! That’s what usually happens at weddings isn’t it? Whose getting married next is always a very popular question.
So just remember folks….the key is “Spiritual affinity”. And to the mothers out there, imagine if it was your daughter being put under scrutiny. I am not saying to pick any minah, jambu or manis but it will be suffice that your son raise up to the plate; have the courage to court a suitable girl and prove to himself to be the leader that he should be, rather than have his mummy, daddy or whoever pick his other half for him. Wives....DO NOT DROP OUT OF THE SKY and DO YOU REALLY WANT TO BE MATCHMADE? >) If either side takes on the same stand then wouldn’t it be all just made in heaven just as it is intended to be?
Stay sane,
Amyemeelea
hmmm.......choosing the lesser of two evils? does that always work? *ponder ponder ponder*
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