Tuesday, March 18, 2008

More chasing..

“If you continue to pursue that which is outside of yourself, the pursuit will always seem to be elusive….” – Sojourns Of the Soul, Kim Koenig 1989

In the spirit of things and not wanting to sound like a wet blanket, when you attempt to understand something of which you know nothing, you open up your brain-mind structure to allow reception of information from your friends. So don’t suddenly clam up and tell me I don’t get what you mean or want to do. That I have suddenly read it all wrong and went goo goo gaga over some misconstrued words. I can take it as an insult to my intelligence and of course as your friend be highly annoyed to be lead to believe that suddenly I don’t understand you at all.

You of all people should know how far and strong our consciousness’ can travel but if you now wish to limit that too; confined merely within a circle then I am so wrong to be included in the conversation. Certain subjects are just meant to fly, that’s where you can find the answers that might have eluded you. Which is why I guess it’s never a good idea to mix business with pleasure and I will also include leisure. And which is why I never liked to put a lid on anything under the sun when all it needs to grow is respect and space for it to expand. Whether it chooses to go down under or up way to the sky will be the your will that shapes its course.

Where did your spirit go? Untie the ties that bind and let it feel and grope the darkness that envelop you. Do not be afraid that it might be too convoluted. Do not stop to explain yourself. Wasn’t that your advice for me? But I understand the ramifications of NOT being understood. The desire and of WANTING to be understood explicitly and simply is the current trend. GO ZEN! *bleargh!!!!*

No fun lar…I rather go speak to a parrot. Who can MIME on REPEAT mode *hmmpf* and dance the Macarena when prompted >) or I can sigh away and pretend that I am really stupid for not feeling what you are feeling and thinking what you are thinking. Were you expecting a NO COMMENTS form me? Or maybe you prefer for me to lead you on aimlessly with random cut and paste links to nowhere near my own thoughts are, so that you ‘think’ I am on the same boat, riding the same wave as you are? It doesn’t take a genius to know that you depend on others for yourself to grow. Honesty is like acute diarrhea isn’t it? Stopitsiak! Since when did I become that plug up your ass? Let it goooooooooooooooo~~~~ the runs needs to expel the bad that is in you. Bad turn to good is not impossibility. Impossible is when you limit yourself. It is when you put up signs to say ‘STOP’ in the name of love or some other entity. You don’t have to thank me now. I know you’d do me the same favor if I was having the runs. I doubt you’d plug yourself up my ass just because you are scared that I’d shit in my pants. I know you’d probably lead me to a good doctor somewhere and have me see that too much raw seafood is bad bad bad. And see to that I’d never visit the same stall again!

For now, I await your honest to goodness thoughts on what is so so close to you heart for when you can trust yourself to be OPENLY conscious with me. I never minded when there was or wasn’t any others, why should you now?

Till then…..

Stay sane,

jahatamyemeelea

Monday, March 10, 2008

La La Love...

Inability..


I had wanted to write about Bali. The sun the sea the sand the friends the food and the ALL but in the end Bali and all its impressions will live only in our memories. The pictures say it all and from the feedback I have heard; interpretations of Bali have gone around. I got bitch slapped for divulging my perspective to another and it smarts! She had a major case point; trust was the MAIN issue here. Can we trust the people we divulge our innermost feelings to? Never mind the instrument we use to relay our messages or our intentions why. One must learn to practice discernment effectively. And because of their fears….and my sudden reluctance to have my perspective known, Bali will not be written.

Rocket Rhinestone was a success! Powwster’s fotos were a hit and Le mew’s sockos made their appearance. I did what I could have and most of all the terrors had their day. Terror 1 when told of my participation actually thought I had done up a painting or some craft or sorts till I told her that my contribution was merely in words. She picked up the cue to begin writing herself and as a sampler came up with :-

“Cats creep and cats leap
Until they scored a mouse to eat
And then they like to lie and sleep”

– Terror 1, 29th Feb 2008


I almost didn’t pick them up for the event because I had doubts that the kids would enjoy themselves but in the end, it was all that we could talk about that night till 1am. Terror 1 was more inspired in her art and gained more confidence being around adults. She gained the most points that night for behaving and for show of maturity. Terror 2 displayed his cheeky side and had a rough time adjusting to the noise. He isn’t much of a ‘band fan’ since he was a baby anyway but what a field day he had with the nachos and cheese! Terror 3 took a little bit if time to warm up and initially wanted to go home but auntie poww came to save the day with gumballs! *hehehehe* All in all, I am glad everything turned out to be great. Another experiment with no expectations and I am vary satisfied with its outcome. I made many new friends and got to spend quality time with those who matter and those were my main focus. Bobby and shikino turned up to support! What more could I have asked for : )

Till then…

Stay sane,
Jahatamyemeelea