when the axe falls.

i voted once and then it was a walkover. the feeling of minute power immense as i held tight on my polling slip and queued patiently in line to mark the X on where i thought will mark changes into the future. not only my future but that of my family, my kids. not bad at all i kept telling myself and looked around to see others keeping to themselves. the amount of people that morning was a lot. the queues went right around the block and it seemed like they pulled out even the most seniors from the civil service closet on standby.

no dramas ensued of course. we are singaporeans afterall but at second glance i wondered if everyone felt that much in them other than 'voting is compulsory'. i sensed some simmered with the need to make a difference somehow. even if it means voting for someone we hardly knew. damn! i couldn't even explain what democracy means then! its not much of a secret to many where my X was going to be. i knew we needed 'alternative voices' and i still needed to stay a rebel somewhat :p

tomorrow is nomination wednesday. election fever has reached new highs if i base my own experiences from the past. i still feel pissed i didn't get to vote on the recent 13th but it has since subsided the last 4-5 years or so. seeing that nothing much have changed, in fact its gotten a bit stale and worse, i realised that of course there'll be trash and mumbo-jumbo shit floating around. as it is in the realm of politics and politicians, its one huge drama. we get tired of being boring one party ruled state. the opposition is there but have they achieved much or have they been just 'noise'?

i enjoy malaysian politics and of course the taiwanese actually fight in parliment hehe. they draw arms and shoot people elsewhere in the world. reading about these going ons in the political world make me appreciate 'boring one ruled state'. BUT! up to date, we have singaporeans going into details about the candidates looks, sexual orientations and beleive it or YET again the issues of identity. all race based of course. wowwEEEeeee! so sexciting. NOT. what else can be put into the spotlight ehk?

well, i'll know for sure if i do get to mark that X this year by lunchtime tomorrow? we'll all be given the day off on may 7th and the consolation for me is that there'll be a party later that night. i made kama promise to go with me even though i'm still unsure where should i put my mark that day. or what to expect truly from all the excitement which looks like its stemming much from anger and discontentment.

BLEARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

checking on the fundamentals now and erasing the hoopla of political hubris so that i can make an informed choice. i want strength and honesty to be my basics *gulps* and it sheepishly looks like it spells PAP?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *pulls hair* OR OR ORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR....the axe falls again on my instincts to put in the vote for the rebels. JUST cause........

they might trace my doodles on that poll slip and ban me forever from voting.

pensive,

j.amyemeelea

ps: i know what VAPID means weird uncle.

involuntary dreams..

why should good news hurt my feelings? especially now? *sigh* i can't stop dreaming and who knows why i do but good or bad, i'd find a way to tell it to you. anyway i know you mean well. so i'll just keep that in mind.

even though it hurts again to know that i'll be ALWAYS last to know if you can ever help it.

anyway, no one ever believed me so why should you hehe....

never sane,
amy

ps: congratulations! don't faint *lolol*

somethings broken and its YOU

..were you even born!

so i did rent that dvd of the 3 idiots for ditto boy. he asked why i wans't home but thats beside the point isnt it? he wanted to have movie night but couldn't rent the dvd because of his foreign talent status. apparently he doesn't want to cough up the 50 security deposit. me being nice and actually feeling his sad lonely nights went ALL the wayyyyy out to rent that dvd so that he can gather the rest and watch that movie. also, i felt guilty because he bought garrets popcorn for the intended movie night but didn't promise to watch it with them. he got pissed but he didn't say much so that was that. that was SUNDAY.

today is THURSDAY.

dvd is not returned! )**&^&%^$&&(*_)(+)+__*()(^

i'm heading back tonight and WILL have to return the dvd and pay the fine. which is fine because i need to run errands too BUT still anger-anger with his farkendooodoo reply of my request to help return the dvd. his exatc reply for ALL of facebook to see is:

ditto asshole :- Okay, for one thing, why the hell are you asking me? I can't be at 2 places at once y'know. Ask Gail. Or if for once she actually comes home to stay, ask Eeqa.
57 minutes ago · Unlike · 1 person <-- i liked this immediately.

of course he didn't take it as sarcasm OH-BECAUSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE...he's a piece of shit. THERE! and yes ditto..i really mean it and when i GET the opportunity to tell it to your FACE. I'll slap it like wet undies over your crapdoodle face a gazillion times. i wish you could never FART douchebag! ninano!!!

well, he's going away for the weekend back to his home country so tonight will be sweet respite. i wonder what i can 'do' *evilgrin* to make him NOT come back or at least get into trouble at the airport :p TSSSK.

so before i spoil my weekend mood...i shall inhaleeeeeeeee and exhaleeeeeee. hopefully this feeling of giving you a MAHA-ENEMA up yours will abate.

get out of my uncaring heartlander face!

j

weekend roll

<-- jogja's oldest surviving kopitiam at malioboro street. as taken by mr. wunderkind who really likes it when i laugh and crinkle my eyes. i think i look still very much my cheshire self :D

the meeting at work just ended and everyone has left. i'm supposed to meet the terrors at kak tina's but now they are out for some ice cream. i am sure they blackmailed her to get them out of the house using my failed promise of mcdonald's delivery. i don't think we can make it for movie night at the loft now. since its already 8pm and am not sure if the rental place will stay up. i'm not sure WHY i even agree on doing this. only because i pity poor ditto who couldn't rent a dvd UNLESS he puts in a security deposit of 50 dollars. anyway i'm going to RENT the thing once and for all so that he'd stop bugging me about it. the movie is so 2009 and he can't seem to get it out of his head. URGHHHHHH. i could get an ulcer just thinking about him going on and on and ONNNNNNN.

for now, its getting the kids back the loft to stay the night. and then to deal with their complaints about terror 3 and their boring, awful few weeks at home. then its a rush tomorrow to send them back home before 3pm because they have thier tuition in the afternoon. apprently thats reasonable to the kids and i don't want to argue or fight it. i need the rest. of course there are other tons of stuff i could do like laundry and clean the house :p i might just trawl some hobby & crafts places to source for my pet projects. i intend to make a few birthday presents. namely for terror 2 and 3 whose birthday is in may. kama's as well. not forgetting...its bobbys birthday in a few days time too. he's turning 32.

AHA! best thing to happen today is that i have figured out a way to get internet connection!! its the wire around the house solution again. tried it out before i left this morning and it worked! just need to get the internet cable. just need it to be long enough so that i could surf in my room and not in the living room. hellOOOoooo movies *ahems* or rather more reading and of course writing :D

the not so good stuff but quite relieved that it didnt fully materialise was when lindot told me she wants to go ahead with a much more conventional aprroach to getting rich. its been 2 months of talking but its not good enough progress for lindot. i can understand why she wants it to fly so there is no reason why she should wait. its her dream anyway and like biks said, why wait on someone else to realise your dreams. i'm not arguing that at all. it just makes me now wonder if i've met all my goals and objectives this year?

frankly, i'm happy with myself. gosh...i sound so lifeless and boring :p BUT! i know i must lose weight muahahaha. i can't fit into my jeans today. trip to jogja was a nice respite. we ALMOST went skinny dipping at the pool but our sensibilities made us brake at the front door. i went with no expectations (as always) and so the surprises came easy. the only purchase was for biks lil something. which i'm going to work on too.

dehemit.

why do i choose sleep over eveything?!

stay sane,
j.amyemeelea.

post its

- lack of jealousy only means double the securities and NO it does not mean he doesn't love you. UNLESS you've been cheating, then try not to quack in your pants every time he asks questions :D orh~ disclaimer : a bit is still needed but its called compersion.

"Right inside the jealous episode is a fiery core of erotic passion. It may surprise you how good it feels, and if you get there, you can be sure you're stepping right into compersion." - in other words, tread carefully.

- buy rope. its for the idiots to hang themselves. che. michelle, please go first.

- FTW. means = For The Win ps: those who often use this loves RPG :p

- your vote is important which is why i'm sleeping in on that day.

- its not generation gap between you and me. i wasn't paying attention. yes, you caught me. HAPPY NOW?! *smirk*

- not writing down stuff BACKFIRED major!

another wall!

terror one just called. very bad reception am not sure why. i tried calling back but there wasn't any answer. she sounded sad and hesitant. only because she wanted my reply to be "YES! LETS!!" no questions asked.

obviously i told her i already have plans for this weekend. assumed that they'd be busy with their dad.i do the assuming only when i'm tired. it sucks. i feel very SUCKYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!

before she crackled off, i TOLD her that it was the promise to call me by friday night. every friday night, she has to tell me IF we'd meet for the weekend. so i'd know and arrange my time to go and pick them up. her excuses or rather explanation was, "i got back late and couldn't call you." i told her off, couldn't, wouldn't shouldn't..which is it?

the line broke off before we could say goodbye. i imagine her hanging by the phone. trying to make sense why her mum had to be so brusque. the rest will ask why and then shrug to mean 'yeah, your not THE favourite now.' or something else. the dad and stepmum will of course use this as another example of my lack of love to the terrors.

tsk.

annoyed,
j.amymeelea