“Sometimes when I look at you, I feel I'm gazing at a distant star.
It's dazzling, but the light is from tens of thousands of years ago.
Maybe the star doesn't even exist any more. Yet sometimes that light seems more real to me than anything."
Haruki Murakami - South of the border, West of the sun.
dear son,
i miss you. i love you. i need you forever and ever and ever and ever.
faithfully yours,
mama terror.
Saturday, August 17, 2013
Monday, August 12, 2013
the Eid 2013.
I have extended the holidays and used up all my leave in the process.
Today, having used up all my excuses to procrastinate any longer, I set myself to go-blog as I had mentally flogged myself with so often recently. I really do not know where to start but here and now. the fact that the last few days have been draining. it was not so much different and it stays the same that I have yet to see the terrors. terror 1 made it better by slipping in a song on whatsapp and wished me selamat hari raya.
here's the song :-
http://youtu.be/3KbSC5GMAYI
she is learning the chords to this song from mr google from the company internet as she says. yeaps, my eldest is ms. smartypants. I listened to the song and was at once reminded of school days where the girlfriends and your truly would skip school to go jamming with the guys. I never really learnt to play an instrument but more or less just sang along haha! they were all at their auntie's for this hari raya since their dad and stepmum are doing their umrah in mecca. they are already back as I am writing this and that is the last I have heard of them.
maybe I will be seeing them soon, maybe not but I do hope not the latter.
so I continued my hari raya celebrations being the sweet dutiful fiancé to an awesome partner in kuala lumpur. his nephew and niece are back with us and his mum having made all the way from Scotland so it was very special. There was ms. panpretty and mister. hammessy lolling about in the apartment with mak and of course, choucou the cat. It was a heartwarming picture as it is the first time in over 8 years or more that the family has been together. Now also plus one that is myself thrown into the mix. my bittersweet albeit awesome raya was just beginning.
mak did not cook but outsourced the raya goodies. kama and myself helped to pick up the goodies from the nearby neighbourhood and of course we got lost. she ordered biryani and various rendangs for 15 people. they were packed in Tupperware and didn't look enough to feed 6? but of course the food lasted 3 days before finally binned. we managed photo sessions and also swims in between the visiting to and fro. the kids wore a bewildered look as they were handed small packets of money but of course happy to wish everyone selamat hari raya in their best malay. I poured my heart to the kids because I missed the terrors. I made ms. panpretty up in the prettiest colours and played with her hair.
mister. hammessy showed me how he played stickman war 2 and together we all swam and played badminton downstairs.
so yes, I had fun and ate a lot.
I didn't send out any raya messages so of course I did not have any back. except from very random people. it is nice to know maybe in small ways I made an impression to this people. so thank you mr. ezeunicorn (I know you will be reading this) and also yanto my talented young friend. even my security supervisor sent me a short meaningful message :)
of course the emotional bit got steep for a bit this raya when I took the opporturnity to wish mak a selamat hari raya that morning. she told me she loved me and that I was a daughter. she whispered to care for kama when she is gone. I freaked a bit and replied how I wont let that happen as she will always be with us. of course I realised this is a bit too dramatic even for me but I don't do well with surprises. I scooted off to the kitchen right after to care for my swollen eyes. thank god for water proof mascara and spied kama kneeling in solemn embrace of mak's knees. gah!! tears threatened to run amok again so I ran after the kids to wai. also I knew the brother might want a private moment too. I also overheard cheng's voice ovr Skype wishing mak a selamat hari raya. left me to wonder how mak is really taking in this raya. it just felt surreal in some ways.
so that's my raya story.
hopefully this long draught will soon pass I will start go-blogging regularly again. I guess the long hiatus is enough of a mourning period of a lost muse.
selamat hari raya, maaf zahir batin.
xxxx
j.amyemeelea
Today, having used up all my excuses to procrastinate any longer, I set myself to go-blog as I had mentally flogged myself with so often recently. I really do not know where to start but here and now. the fact that the last few days have been draining. it was not so much different and it stays the same that I have yet to see the terrors. terror 1 made it better by slipping in a song on whatsapp and wished me selamat hari raya.
here's the song :-
http://youtu.be/3KbSC5GMAYI
she is learning the chords to this song from mr google from the company internet as she says. yeaps, my eldest is ms. smartypants. I listened to the song and was at once reminded of school days where the girlfriends and your truly would skip school to go jamming with the guys. I never really learnt to play an instrument but more or less just sang along haha! they were all at their auntie's for this hari raya since their dad and stepmum are doing their umrah in mecca. they are already back as I am writing this and that is the last I have heard of them.
maybe I will be seeing them soon, maybe not but I do hope not the latter.
so I continued my hari raya celebrations being the sweet dutiful fiancé to an awesome partner in kuala lumpur. his nephew and niece are back with us and his mum having made all the way from Scotland so it was very special. There was ms. panpretty and mister. hammessy lolling about in the apartment with mak and of course, choucou the cat. It was a heartwarming picture as it is the first time in over 8 years or more that the family has been together. Now also plus one that is myself thrown into the mix. my bittersweet albeit awesome raya was just beginning.
mak did not cook but outsourced the raya goodies. kama and myself helped to pick up the goodies from the nearby neighbourhood and of course we got lost. she ordered biryani and various rendangs for 15 people. they were packed in Tupperware and didn't look enough to feed 6? but of course the food lasted 3 days before finally binned. we managed photo sessions and also swims in between the visiting to and fro. the kids wore a bewildered look as they were handed small packets of money but of course happy to wish everyone selamat hari raya in their best malay. I poured my heart to the kids because I missed the terrors. I made ms. panpretty up in the prettiest colours and played with her hair.
mister. hammessy showed me how he played stickman war 2 and together we all swam and played badminton downstairs.
so yes, I had fun and ate a lot.
I didn't send out any raya messages so of course I did not have any back. except from very random people. it is nice to know maybe in small ways I made an impression to this people. so thank you mr. ezeunicorn (I know you will be reading this) and also yanto my talented young friend. even my security supervisor sent me a short meaningful message :)
of course the emotional bit got steep for a bit this raya when I took the opporturnity to wish mak a selamat hari raya that morning. she told me she loved me and that I was a daughter. she whispered to care for kama when she is gone. I freaked a bit and replied how I wont let that happen as she will always be with us. of course I realised this is a bit too dramatic even for me but I don't do well with surprises. I scooted off to the kitchen right after to care for my swollen eyes. thank god for water proof mascara and spied kama kneeling in solemn embrace of mak's knees. gah!! tears threatened to run amok again so I ran after the kids to wai. also I knew the brother might want a private moment too. I also overheard cheng's voice ovr Skype wishing mak a selamat hari raya. left me to wonder how mak is really taking in this raya. it just felt surreal in some ways.
so that's my raya story.
hopefully this long draught will soon pass I will start go-blogging regularly again. I guess the long hiatus is enough of a mourning period of a lost muse.
selamat hari raya, maaf zahir batin.
xxxx
j.amyemeelea
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