the long awaited update.

this is more for myself. you guys realise that by writing i am trying to neutralise or balance my libido and mortido tendencies right?

so anyway, my birthday passed in January and I've got a new job. i love it of course but its getting on my nerves a tad bit. especially today i i had a warning from my vendor about taking care to avoid a certain someone because he's exclaimed he wants to hex me somewhat. leaving all the details behind, i am happy to report that I'm in a very solid position to hold on and stay positive.

I'm wasting a lot of water though, by taking a lot of hot baths! although, i must say it is ACTUALLY making me lose weight. i am at 45. 1kg currently so please hate me. i do have a slight muffin top but it takes very little to correct that with controlled breathing and the right sense of fashion.

i watched women's MMA take a revolutionary turn this morning with the first ever women's UFC bantam weight championship and boy~ was the world glad the straight woman win. i had this irksome feeling while i watched the primetime preview for the match. these women are world class athletes and to use their private inclinations to draw the crowd to watch the match didn't rest well with me. although, i must say, the fight between rowdy rousey and girlrilla liz was TIGHT.

i actually wanted terror 1 to watch the fight with me on sunday morning but she told me she's more into wrestling *sigh* i rationalised WWF was too emotionally driven and the moves were just too showy and violent. you wanted clean moves, strategy and serious good cardio to last in a mixed martial art showdown. these women were professionals. i love the fact that the ultimate champion works seriously hard and enforces strict discipline to excel in her 'art'. yeah...its physical alright but HEY~ wake up...we do need to value women who are born this way, and i mean the physically strong women who actually 'fight' for a living.

so anyway, terror 1 is not convinced *bleargh* maybe another time then.

besides the fact that fatboy aka terror 2 has avoided seeing me for the past 2 months or so, i'm content to say that my girls are as normal as can be. one is worried about being called 'esbok bergerak' or *'moving frideg'* for some of you and then the other worried about getting the one direction tumbler. the fatboy is dealing with denial issues and stealing in school and with family. by family i mean by stealing from us. i have in mind to give him a good wallop but i'm glad we are taking the loving and assertive parenting style instead. he must try to get restitution for his actions without violence.

bo said i should kidnap terror 2 by staking outside school but i think we'd manage to find time and sit him down. the good news is bo's getting a daughter whom i hope will be as trying as the terrors hehehehehehe...besides serious talk about marriage and what entails after, i am glad that at least...for this moment, kama has not set his ideals on more kids. i love them but i can't deal with the diaper changes and sleepless nights.which goes on for quite forever when you've been sleep deprived nursing at least 4 hours interval until you wean the baby off.

yet the best news is bo and kin saying yes to dinner here in the swamps this weekend. he had some reservations about us serving alcohol. which i admit can be trying  but i told him like seriously, don't be such an ass. i know we are already in sin but where's the love and encouragement with reminders to spur on for a more muslimmah code of life? you can't deny me the leeway no matter how small the window of opportunity; to make good by your standards can you?

all in all....i'm grateful and count my blessings. we have the right support in times of self delusional needs.

so yeah...

i might not mind when i'm not aware and i'm counting on reminders of small miracles in signs of hope and understanding. it is my time i'm working against so if i have been a bad sister, the wrost kind of mom and totally insensitive prick of a friend. i beg you to mind me graciously. life is too precious to count on hate and bitterness. i just want to get along and inspire to be as good as it gets ;)

stay sane,

j.amyemeelea

ps: i know i'm such the hijacker when all you need for me as a friend is to listen. i don't mean to relate every of your concern to my own experiences hence 'hijacking' your rants. at times, i pull other experiences from people close to us to prove a point but i digress. my point is i never intended to be such a bad person. i just need to liseng...liseng....liseng.