for those who have tried to get to me via handphone and found that my line is on a holiday, my sincerest apologies. like a very good friend of mine said, no news is good news unless of course its just sad news from a third party kinda of news, i'm just saying that i'm fine. everything is a-okay and i'm riding as ususal. once the line is up and as most are familair with my riding it just goes to say, "gua biasa ah, sekejap timbul lain kali nyer tenggelam."
i'd be doing my usual rounds of catching up soon enough.
solipism - latin ipse = self and solus = alone
1. nothing exists
2. even if someting exists, nothing can be known about it and
3. even if something could be known about it, knowledge about it can't be communicated to others
solipism claims that the universe exists entirely in one's own mind.
reads familiar right? poww and myce, the date for the 9th or was it 10th? :P is still on. i will be calling you soon about it. and i think my dinner and dance is going to be on the 9th so let me get my diary straighten out. to the cellaraid gang (hahahahah!!! means u nanin ;)) i still owe u a graduate's celebration and of course the usual let's laugh and go about being aka 14 years old again :D soon!! you have my baju kurung lar dey!
to ms. vilevilly who can't speak proper english even if its forced up her arse. please watch out as i don't care if they call you 'gangster batu pahat', i'd just swat you the same *withthevilestofinsults* the minute my feelings of 'understanding' erodes. everyday being at work with you is mental torture and its the law of the universe to reap what you sow so i'm just going to be patient and look on. if you ever so much step a milimetre of my non existant tail >) you're gonna get a shitload of abuse. i don't think you ever heard of machikvilliean tactics kan kan kan?! *hehehehe*
selamat tahun baru sumer!
stay sane,
amyemeelea
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
:(
i need to work on my already overdued by 16mins assignment and my body itches all over ni. after this i'm going to take a shower to freshen up and another cup of coffee. i saw a GUY along orchard road today giving/offering tarot readings and i asked if he is going to be there tomorrow. intresting that a guy would want to set up a table just like that right in front of wisma!
i was at the library cramming for my assignment and did you know that the whole 5th floor of taka is now this mega floor of art and craft to buy stuff. i mean art friend was smack right there! it was like being in a mini high class bras basah lerrrr!!! my hands kinda twitched nervously to get everything on the shelves. there were paints *oilwateracryllic*, multicolored threads cap \DMX/ of course and paper twilling!!! it was MY PARADISE siak! i had to fold my arms across my chest :P course its cold ar >) and did a whole tour till it was time to close :(
but tis okay! i plan to go back very, very soon to get my hands on something and will the time away, force myself to relax. i had thought of painting again but couldn't decide on which medium and of course the other craft materials strewn around made me hyperventilate hehe so i think i'd start with crocheting or something you know. that i could literally stuff it into my bag and lug around.
then, i said to myself, tak macho siak bikin crochet or knitting hehe....takper ah at least bley play pretend its rockmanja :D
stay sane,
amyemeelea
i was at the library cramming for my assignment and did you know that the whole 5th floor of taka is now this mega floor of art and craft to buy stuff. i mean art friend was smack right there! it was like being in a mini high class bras basah lerrrr!!! my hands kinda twitched nervously to get everything on the shelves. there were paints *oilwateracryllic*, multicolored threads cap \DMX/ of course and paper twilling!!! it was MY PARADISE siak! i had to fold my arms across my chest :P course its cold ar >) and did a whole tour till it was time to close :(
but tis okay! i plan to go back very, very soon to get my hands on something and will the time away, force myself to relax. i had thought of painting again but couldn't decide on which medium and of course the other craft materials strewn around made me hyperventilate hehe so i think i'd start with crocheting or something you know. that i could literally stuff it into my bag and lug around.
then, i said to myself, tak macho siak bikin crochet or knitting hehe....takper ah at least bley play pretend its rockmanja :D
stay sane,
amyemeelea
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
sometimes ah...
like i read in a book somewhere, we only really understand ourselves through metaphors. you turn here you turn there and someone can come up with a split second metaphor, borrowed or of their own in a spilt second! amazing kan!!
like today i found myself caught up in my own anger that oozed out of my every pore like sick yellow pus. it threatened to choke as i willed it to drown the very person who made me feel so angry!! but as i am the cool babe :P the thoughts lay dormant and i managed to instead swim in the headiness of nicotine induced euphoria albeit just momentarily. my manager aka my godmummy aka 'the' person who has been getting on my very nerves of late finally pulled me aside today to 'talk'.
i think she knew that a little bit more and i would completely switch off and thats going to be the end of what we have painstakingly built these past 10 or so years together. i do understand that she doesn't want to be said as someone who practices favouritism. i mean genreally the -isms of the world are looked upon as bad or undesirable. so i said i understand totally where she was coming from and i have nothing against her. but only because i did make her out as a total biatch at work today :D but hey!! it was only because of her own doing and i merely reiterated what she stood for wot. which is "you! monkey see monkey do ok!" to which i said, "you! no good monkey so i don't want to follow ok! me new and improved monkey." *hehe*
but all the "i have very high expectations of you" in the world could not ease that part of me that painstakingly swallowed the pain of jealousy that raged when i heard another called her "mummy". no one has ever been given that so called priviledge to call her that cept for me and the rest of the guys actually called her other than "mummy" when i'm around for fear of me going berserk. such is HISTORY and even the oldest history could be changed with a sleight of the hand, as part of mine did today :)
stay sane,
amyemeelea
like today i found myself caught up in my own anger that oozed out of my every pore like sick yellow pus. it threatened to choke as i willed it to drown the very person who made me feel so angry!! but as i am the cool babe :P the thoughts lay dormant and i managed to instead swim in the headiness of nicotine induced euphoria albeit just momentarily. my manager aka my godmummy aka 'the' person who has been getting on my very nerves of late finally pulled me aside today to 'talk'.
i think she knew that a little bit more and i would completely switch off and thats going to be the end of what we have painstakingly built these past 10 or so years together. i do understand that she doesn't want to be said as someone who practices favouritism. i mean genreally the -isms of the world are looked upon as bad or undesirable. so i said i understand totally where she was coming from and i have nothing against her. but only because i did make her out as a total biatch at work today :D but hey!! it was only because of her own doing and i merely reiterated what she stood for wot. which is "you! monkey see monkey do ok!" to which i said, "you! no good monkey so i don't want to follow ok! me new and improved monkey." *hehe*
but all the "i have very high expectations of you" in the world could not ease that part of me that painstakingly swallowed the pain of jealousy that raged when i heard another called her "mummy". no one has ever been given that so called priviledge to call her that cept for me and the rest of the guys actually called her other than "mummy" when i'm around for fear of me going berserk. such is HISTORY and even the oldest history could be changed with a sleight of the hand, as part of mine did today :)
stay sane,
amyemeelea
Monday, January 16, 2006
letting off steam...
i would have thought that the new job should have been easy peasy for me but it seems like the minutes feels like hours over time and even longer when its work, work, work and MORE work. its really not so bad because it is ALL just work afterall. we all have lives after work!! we should and those workaholics....pleaseeeeeeeee GO GET A LIFE.
i have this slight problem with a few of the guys at work whom are such workaholics that they are making the rest of us look very very bad. worst still, i make more mistakes when i don't concentrate enough or just plain bored and unhappy so these past few days have been such crap. i can't sing, joke or talk *i'mtooloud* and everything i say and do is being criticised and its sucky!!!!! or maybe i've always taken critisms a little more staright to the heart with the people whom i'm trying to get close to. a little more frustrated when my other efforts are to be made a LOT less than i had intended them to be. i just want to learn, hence the stupid questions and i just want us to lighten up a little hence the little crappy jokes. a bit of song and dance to break the routine but i think i'm just too STUPID to do anything or to understand anything *sigh*
well, tomorrow is going to be a better day and its another round of exams coming my way. i had thought that this little tiny move from my other position at the business center to the reservations would be more fun! since i'd be with a few older 'kakis' but boy was i wrong *again* the understanding that i had thought i have secured right in my little pocket became non-existant and worst!!!!! its soooooo DAMN cold down in the basement office. dehem! those workaholics *&(^*&%^$#$#@$#@%$&%(*^*&* but as we say....nie sumer kira lumrah dunia. mana lu keje pong samer so part bencik-bencik nie sumer setakat nak layan..layan DUA MINIT jer. pastue lu gua kita-kita sumer relek one kornarrrrr sua! or roughly translated to "i can't be bothered to partake in your little party of idiotic plain selfish skirmishes and please talk to the hand when your two minutes is up." *hehehe*
but hell yeah!!! i'd be back with a bounce tomorrow and with my little army of ginseng honey, my obat kuat jamu ;P and it'd all be a breeze again. "makjun kuat sa la saaaa~~~! Preeeeet!!!"
stay sane,
amyemeelea
ps: happy birthday Puteri Isabella, moga harapanmu untuk menjadi seorang anak yang solehah dikabulkan...*kishes*
i have this slight problem with a few of the guys at work whom are such workaholics that they are making the rest of us look very very bad. worst still, i make more mistakes when i don't concentrate enough or just plain bored and unhappy so these past few days have been such crap. i can't sing, joke or talk *i'mtooloud* and everything i say and do is being criticised and its sucky!!!!! or maybe i've always taken critisms a little more staright to the heart with the people whom i'm trying to get close to. a little more frustrated when my other efforts are to be made a LOT less than i had intended them to be. i just want to learn, hence the stupid questions and i just want us to lighten up a little hence the little crappy jokes. a bit of song and dance to break the routine but i think i'm just too STUPID to do anything or to understand anything *sigh*
well, tomorrow is going to be a better day and its another round of exams coming my way. i had thought that this little tiny move from my other position at the business center to the reservations would be more fun! since i'd be with a few older 'kakis' but boy was i wrong *again* the understanding that i had thought i have secured right in my little pocket became non-existant and worst!!!!! its soooooo DAMN cold down in the basement office. dehem! those workaholics *&(^*&%^$#$#@$#@%$&%(*^*&* but as we say....nie sumer kira lumrah dunia. mana lu keje pong samer so part bencik-bencik nie sumer setakat nak layan..layan DUA MINIT jer. pastue lu gua kita-kita sumer relek one kornarrrrr sua! or roughly translated to "i can't be bothered to partake in your little party of idiotic plain selfish skirmishes and please talk to the hand when your two minutes is up." *hehehe*
but hell yeah!!! i'd be back with a bounce tomorrow and with my little army of ginseng honey, my obat kuat jamu ;P and it'd all be a breeze again. "makjun kuat sa la saaaa~~~! Preeeeet!!!"
stay sane,
amyemeelea
ps: happy birthday Puteri Isabella, moga harapanmu untuk menjadi seorang anak yang solehah dikabulkan...*kishes*
Monday, January 09, 2006
finally here in woodlalaland..and back from my first overtime stint nie..
i dunno wot happened to an updated blog entry of mine but my guess is that its somewhere floating in here. i needed the money so worked my very first overtime stint today and for a total of nine hours. i endured the data entry and filing i had to do. it was really nothing compared to what you must go through :) but today i feel better knowing that my efforts are going to be paid off even if not handsomely it will definately help ease a wee bit of my worries. i know its very late but i drank too much coffee today in hopes to stay alert and awake. alas i wasn't fast enough to pick up the simplest things and ended up learning very little *orsoithinkmyslef* but i am definately going to try even harder at work and at home. i am going to gather all the strength and patience to see my immediate goals come true. i lost my journal!!!! silly me went around showing the guys baby pictures lah! >( so serve me right. i must learn to take things easy so that i won't miss the finer details.
personally, there's so much i miss :( espescially, my bonsai plant that i accidentally left at the last pad!!!
its was a long weekend for many, the last new year but a very long tiring one for me. i am finally here and more or less settled at my bros place. everything worked out fine even if i didn't get to do up my room as how i had envisioned it to be but it'll make do. we finished moving only last monday and bless everyone who helped me with the move :)
i am only left with my books to unpack and when my bro saw what i did to the room a wee bit just now he went, "*sniggers* wow! look at my sister's room...it looks like a small house!". and it does look and feel like a small house in a flat hehe. it made my day and the thought of bunking in with my bro and wifey much more palatable :P *ithinktoomuch* but all in all i think the both of em are just great and big hearted to help me with my decisions to change courses yet again. i have hot showers every morning yeay! no more waking up to boil water yeay yeay yeay!!! and its pretty cosy my room. it has an aircon unit but my bro and wifey keeps asking me about why i don't use the fan instead :P i hate the cold too, i have always thought myself to be cold blooded and now i just sleep with the windows open.
i hope i see this on the blog! if not, i'm not so sure when i'd be able to gather my thoughts this clearly again hehe....
salam eidul adha to everyone *asmentionedonthelastupdatedentry*
stay sane,
amyemeelea
personally, there's so much i miss :( espescially, my bonsai plant that i accidentally left at the last pad!!!
its was a long weekend for many, the last new year but a very long tiring one for me. i am finally here and more or less settled at my bros place. everything worked out fine even if i didn't get to do up my room as how i had envisioned it to be but it'll make do. we finished moving only last monday and bless everyone who helped me with the move :)
i am only left with my books to unpack and when my bro saw what i did to the room a wee bit just now he went, "*sniggers* wow! look at my sister's room...it looks like a small house!". and it does look and feel like a small house in a flat hehe. it made my day and the thought of bunking in with my bro and wifey much more palatable :P *ithinktoomuch* but all in all i think the both of em are just great and big hearted to help me with my decisions to change courses yet again. i have hot showers every morning yeay! no more waking up to boil water yeay yeay yeay!!! and its pretty cosy my room. it has an aircon unit but my bro and wifey keeps asking me about why i don't use the fan instead :P i hate the cold too, i have always thought myself to be cold blooded and now i just sleep with the windows open.
i hope i see this on the blog! if not, i'm not so sure when i'd be able to gather my thoughts this clearly again hehe....
salam eidul adha to everyone *asmentionedonthelastupdatedentry*
stay sane,
amyemeelea
minah/mat feeling-feeling da takde value...
often we do not even know how to even label our feelings but yet when a moment strikes we instinctively know something is telling us something. yet we all *usually* choose to ignore. prefering instead the mass method of sit and wait and think it through.....
many would call it 'being patient'....letting things set and waiting for the right time to act, for someone, something to act on our behalf. situation demands it? society demands it? who set this rule for patience to be mean 'wait n see', holding it in? i think its all subjective *then whatisnotsubjective?* :P
who likes a mat feeling-feeling or a minah feeling-feeling? or how would you rate someone (personally) when he/she has been labelled 'feeling-feeling', too emotional or even often said to think with the heart? i'm sure a majority will vote and go with 'balance'. extremism is not tolerated but yet i feel that many of us still yet have a good grasp of what 'balance' is all about. again, the reason 'subjective'! *gerams* why do we view feelings and emotions negatively and how do we learn to trust our own intuition?
i want to equate feelings with intuition. why? because isn't it intution that tells you not to call that someone because 'something' tells you that your call is going to end up making you even sadder, guiltier *adetakehk?*, angrier, madder but not any lovelier? :D so you end up not making that call even when you want to. even when you think the person might be missing you, or wondering why you didn't call dan macam-macam lagik lar.
so ada value ker tidak nie mat/minah feeling-feeling ehk?
all is well though. maybe it is this lovely rainy weather that is making me sappy :P more senti-mentel or just plain feeling giler ah! so nice to be cuddling up and breathing in steamy meamy hot air rising hehe...another rest day *itsapublicholidaythistuesday!!!* and i will have to work on my study plan and my essays VERY soon *likenow* i have more or less unpacked and settled in my new home in a home. work is good as i have managed to clear much of the filing and already have a good feel of my responsibilities. the void in my heart is filled with peace knowing that i can never be someone i am not and that L.O.V.E is everywhere all around me. may He grant me health and the strength to never look back. be as closer as ever.....
selamat 'berkorban' sumer :) may you have a blessed eidul adha knowing that all is well and that your sacrifices will not go unredeemed.
stay sane,
amyemeelea
many would call it 'being patient'....letting things set and waiting for the right time to act, for someone, something to act on our behalf. situation demands it? society demands it? who set this rule for patience to be mean 'wait n see', holding it in? i think its all subjective *then whatisnotsubjective?* :P
who likes a mat feeling-feeling or a minah feeling-feeling? or how would you rate someone (personally) when he/she has been labelled 'feeling-feeling', too emotional or even often said to think with the heart? i'm sure a majority will vote and go with 'balance'. extremism is not tolerated but yet i feel that many of us still yet have a good grasp of what 'balance' is all about. again, the reason 'subjective'! *gerams* why do we view feelings and emotions negatively and how do we learn to trust our own intuition?
i want to equate feelings with intuition. why? because isn't it intution that tells you not to call that someone because 'something' tells you that your call is going to end up making you even sadder, guiltier *adetakehk?*, angrier, madder but not any lovelier? :D so you end up not making that call even when you want to. even when you think the person might be missing you, or wondering why you didn't call dan macam-macam lagik lar.
so ada value ker tidak nie mat/minah feeling-feeling ehk?
all is well though. maybe it is this lovely rainy weather that is making me sappy :P more senti-mentel or just plain feeling giler ah! so nice to be cuddling up and breathing in steamy meamy hot air rising hehe...another rest day *itsapublicholidaythistuesday!!!* and i will have to work on my study plan and my essays VERY soon *likenow* i have more or less unpacked and settled in my new home in a home. work is good as i have managed to clear much of the filing and already have a good feel of my responsibilities. the void in my heart is filled with peace knowing that i can never be someone i am not and that L.O.V.E is everywhere all around me. may He grant me health and the strength to never look back. be as closer as ever.....
selamat 'berkorban' sumer :) may you have a blessed eidul adha knowing that all is well and that your sacrifices will not go unredeemed.
stay sane,
amyemeelea
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
