sometimes ah...

like i read in a book somewhere, we only really understand ourselves through metaphors. you turn here you turn there and someone can come up with a split second metaphor, borrowed or of their own in a spilt second! amazing kan!!

like today i found myself caught up in my own anger that oozed out of my every pore like sick yellow pus. it threatened to choke as i willed it to drown the very person who made me feel so angry!! but as i am the cool babe :P the thoughts lay dormant and i managed to instead swim in the headiness of nicotine induced euphoria albeit just momentarily. my manager aka my godmummy aka 'the' person who has been getting on my very nerves of late finally pulled me aside today to 'talk'.

i think she knew that a little bit more and i would completely switch off and thats going to be the end of what we have painstakingly built these past 10 or so years together. i do understand that she doesn't want to be said as someone who practices favouritism. i mean genreally the -isms of the world are looked upon as bad or undesirable. so i said i understand totally where she was coming from and i have nothing against her. but only because i did make her out as a total biatch at work today :D but hey!! it was only because of her own doing and i merely reiterated what she stood for wot. which is "you! monkey see monkey do ok!" to which i said, "you! no good monkey so i don't want to follow ok! me new and improved monkey." *hehe*

but all the "i have very high expectations of you" in the world could not ease that part of me that painstakingly swallowed the pain of jealousy that raged when i heard another called her "mummy". no one has ever been given that so called priviledge to call her that cept for me and the rest of the guys actually called her other than "mummy" when i'm around for fear of me going berserk. such is HISTORY and even the oldest history could be changed with a sleight of the hand, as part of mine did today :)

stay sane,
amyemeelea