thunder strikes..

It is early morning in the office. My boss has gone away for another trip to India and I can’t seem to have a feel of the office today. Everyone is so distant and as usual, the hot topic of the morning is, ‘Why am I late today?’ I love the coffee from Wee’s and at 60 cents for a kopi o kao giler; it packs up my morning with enough caffeine to work the engine till about lunch time. Today, I decided to work on another plan to save the 60 cents which is to buy my own kopi at 0.06 cents *itisacoincidence* and milk the office pantry of its contents for my own selfish needs *hehe* but the kopi wasn’t as kao *thick* as I would have liked. I also liked Wee and our morning rambles of the books we have read so far. He was the one who insisted I must read Dan Brown no matter what anybody said and I have in my mind to introduce him to one of my favorite thriller authors soon. I have yet to pick one but I hope I won’t disappoint. But! its cost cutting over intresting 3 minute conversations ;)

The weekend with the kids held more surprises. Terror 1 can swim without a float! And terror 2 can paddle nicely with no fear all the way to the centre of the pool. He can now blow bubbles without swallowing water too! So the short impromptu lessons are working! *yeay* terror 3 was only interested in learning how to piggy back mama without slipping *hehe* though but she learnt how to sing a new song. Terror 1 asked me why I only have 3 children and while trying to explain the birds and the bees she remarked that she doesn’t like taking our family as an example. She said it would ‘bring tears to her eyes’.I swear she used the exact words. I explained that there are many families just like ours and she should be thankful that both of her parents are still alive. What about those who have lost their parents to death? I’m sure that would bring even more sadness and hurt. I know how they feel but am adamant to make it feel less gnawing on the senses. Real life hurts and they need to know why. The blame will never leave my shoulders and I am making time to muscle them up for more strength.

Terror 2 told me he’s been having nightmares and in them he felt powerless to fight them off. He explained that he said his prayers and washed himself before sleep but still the nightmares came. And yes, there were times he’d be thrashing around and actually cry during sleep. Digging deeper, I explained to him how in his dreams it is possible to be anything that he wanted to be or do anything he wanted to do and we dream because it is necessary for creativity and rest. He can't understand how running away from mosters can be restful so then I gave him a beaded necklace of tiger stones to draw inspiration from. He listened and saw how the stones got their name and took it to the test. In the morning he said he had no nightmares! But preferred an alligator’s tooth as a necklace because while watching a scary zombie movie later he touched his necklace but still felt scared and innocently told me, “mama, I think the tiger sleep lar.” *giggles* well, back to the drawing board on that one! I asked if he ever told his dad about the dreams but he said he didn’t want to be called a scaredy cat. I also noticed he didn’t like to write his full name down and even came up with excuses like he doesn’t know how to spell his name till he got so tired of having to write it down anyway to my insistence. To escape he turned and just said blankly, “I don’t like the name hafeez.” He doesn’t even like to be called by the name and am wondering why. I’d find out soon enough ;)

I haven’t sat down in front of the pc for a good deal of thinking and writing, let alone empty the camera to get more photos of the kids downloaded. I need time alone, to do my stuff during my own time. Stealing bits of time in between doesn’t work as it’s quite distracting.

stay sane,
amyemeelea