made for me...

*breathe*


Its been many minutes leading to hours that this ache in my heart has yet dulled. Each long stoking of its heartstrings leads to sighs and my eyes would suddenly water.The music lurking in concerto grosso around me doesn’t help the smarting around the rims of my fluttering eyelids.then, an inescapable sigh accompany the melodius maladies brings me back to here. My now; as i wipe away the tiny rivulets of moonjuice thats feels sticky against my palm. *breathesharder* i had to gather my strength, steady myself to be battle ready with the stream of thoughts flowing out.


*hear goes*


i had once heard or read somwhere, "The hardest part of loving someone is knowing when to let go, and knowing when to say goodbye." but of course, the heart longs and mourns for its lost and one can do naught but wait out its pulling tides into oblivion. You hang on and seek solace in the throbs of all your memories fleet by. Then you realise the truth to tell yourself that it was the time. When it is hard to see the person you love, not love you; it is waaaay much harder to see him with you and unhappy!! *thinks of bik’s dream* and i truly believe it to be, that there are things that we don't want to happen but have to accept, think about things we don't want to know but have to learn, and missing nearly to death people we can't live without but have to let go!


so leading me on by my nose is the saving grace of youtube! Song after song and i get soothingly eased to indulge in what we women do best when feeling all stressed up. CRY *uwaaaa* Tense builds up the reserve reservoir i think. Still, i had to smile in anticipation of the sensations of both my eyes closed up tight tonight all puffed up from watching sappy music videos.


: )


This beats watching mixed martial arts (MMA) fights hehe..because its no fun watching fights and violence alone. Somehow the experience is heightened when you glow in the bask of an offer of praise for a well said commentary of the fight. Even the knockouts were fun. *sigh* but yes, habits must die and i must learn to let go. *waves*


But of course. How can i deny that it seems all the love in the world can’t put back together again this heart of mine when it blew into a thousand million pieces of hurts when i had to accept the reality of “Goodbye”.

“Sweet for a little even to fear and sweet,O Love!

to lay down fear as Love's fair feet;

Shall not some fiery memory of his breath

Lie sweet on lips that touch the lips of death?

Yet leave me not; yet if thou wilt, be free;Love me no more, but love my love of thee,

Love where thou wilt, and live thy life;

and I,One thing I can, and one Love cannot die.

~Algernon Charles Swinburne

Hurtfully yours *nsanely,
amyemeeelea