whats your worth? i mean POINT!

from ghostly whispers, a question was raised. do we compare currents with our exes? i believe its inevitable as we're comparing all the time and base our actions on decisions and more decisions. an ex *ahemssssssssssssharkpTUiii* (you don't have to guess WHICH one) told me recently that he made his choice between his wife and me based on 'the road that he want to follow'. i assumed he was speaking about the highway road to heaven when he decided on her and since he didn't elaborate, i shut my trap from further pick-your-brain follow up questions BECAUSE........>)

I DON'T CARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

every time i do compare i say a prayer for the dead and leave it to rest. its like how you throw salt over your shoulders to avoid bad luck for some. i think its to blind the devil or something. it just means that i don't like to bring up the dead and IF they do so come up in my consciousness, it means that either soul is restless. what else can one do but say a prayer right? as compared to you who then placate yourself with 'not everyone is perfect and since i'm married now so i must be content' thoughts and mode of action. you're right, YOU made that choice and you CHOSE her. the best woman won i said to be polite *hurrayyyyyyyyy* BUT no....you have to point out that she isn't best. you added that, i was in comparison to her much better in some aspects but not others. of course THIS was WHEN you were still comparing kasos to moi~ i didn't FIT ler obviously as i'm not something your wear on your feet you know! *faceplam*

again....i bit my fingers before i could type I DON'T CARE!!! only to have you ask me *coughscover!coughsss* curious questions about the my sex life and if karna believes in God?

*doublefaceplam* but i forgive you for your bouts of 'curiosity', maybe not forgive but bley layan ah.

does it make you feel better that i'm happy? are you really glad that things are going well for me? do you really believe its your wishes for me that made me happy now? it was really hard for you too you said? and at least you were honest to me about kasos right? you ONLY did what was best for you and her at the time. you both decided that THIS is best and errr...where did all the above leave me? wait!!! are you insinuating that you're just 'making do' with wifey? settling for second best? and believe love will come later?

i believe you told me in addition to above, no no no..REMINDED me to not compare especially AFTER the 'i do, till death do us part' vows. *ARGHHHHHughhhhhhhhhh* at that moment, it still didn't occur to you that, I'M NOT into comparing at current and exes at all. i couldn't even bring MYSELF to date another while i was busy making a fool out of myself with you. all those wasted years (okay~~~ i was still the willing party no doubt) i still cuckolded myself to believe that i WAS the better woman. it was only after you finally, FINALLY...OWN up (yeaps, red handed buddy~) 1 month before getting hitched that i hit myself in the head and told myself to kick the bucket.

i mean....do we really need to go through this all over again? why the @*!&*&^$*(&#(!^#$*%$@* is my block and delete not working when its supposed to be working. ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! *pushkick*

*burp*

okay, i feel much better.

stay away,

emeelea

ps: we have expressed our gratitude and accepted the path forward to live with each our conscience. nie kes sua macam rekord buruk tau, silap hari bulan betol peh kena humban.