self deals with truth..

They say kids can’t lie and more often than not the things they say about the observations they make of people, things around them is so instantaneously outrageous it’s enough to overwhelm even the most cynical or jaded. Love em or hate em (especially if they’re your own) I find myself in awe every time I care to spend time with my own 3 little terrors. How many of us have our little terrors to deal with and actually I am such a big baby too. Would I then be able to say I can’t lie when lying has become somewhat second nature to me? White lies are lies too isn’t it? So I have to decide what and which is the truth for myself and how do I do it?

I keep wishing for the pants (or underwear) of liars to combust and catch fire every time (which don’t! bah!) or lightning to strike or anything, as a sign but is the truth really out there? Once I cried my eyes out and got depressed when the terrors kept repeating that I don’t love them when I told them (again) the truth as to why I don’t come home anymore or the time he said he loved me but his actions told me otherwise. Or that instance when I found out my best friend was lying to me. Do we have the determination to seek it? Have the strength to face truth if and when it shows its face? Swallow bitter acceptance if you will allow?

I’ll admit I have taken a few liberties in the past and am not shy to say there were times when the decision to free myself from any form of restraint were usually outrageous by normal standards but I have only done what others would have liked to have done, had they had the chance! *nyehnyeh* but sometimes lies do help to ease a current situation but i firmly believe nothing beats the truth. Just as much as I want to promise never to lie ever again...reality is i suck :P but i need to try harder for the sake of my self.

We lie to ourselves each day (I know I do) in hope to be the perfect person we think we are and maybe the above proclamation is just that but I realized that if I were to take it just as that then it will never be anything more but just another ‘lie’. I wonder if I should have to strap a lie detector to myself just so that chosen others will believe me when I say….”I love you”.

Stay sane,
jahat