i won't put my hopes too high on liking this job as i wouldn't want to get dissapointed again *referringtoallmylastjobs* as the hotel industry is famous for its 'in-house politics'. can you imagine the director of sales who interviewed me actually asked what i thought of office politics?! and how i would handle such skrimishes. of course i blah-blahed sales-talked my way through hehe but now after just 3 days i remember how so-so very bad the backstabbing, the super bitching and *insertexpletiveshere* can be. the last 3 days also reminded me no matter how much time has flown since i was back to the hotel and now that i am not 17 anymore :P all that DOES not change how my former colleagues remember me. they must be asking why the hell did i choose to come back after all these years and thinking that i am still who i am before *ahem17ahem* doo bi doo bi doo......
but who, what and why would things, people and places WON'T change? i shudder and shiver at the thought of misinterpertations of who, what and why am i now and how i'm going to handle all the raised eyebrows and tempers. still...its a very small teeny weeny problemo, very much depending on HOW i need to just keep on smiling and WHEN to reflect on every bad and good comments *blueeek*
just today i almost threw a fit and went nuts when all of the above started to fly whizz past me and as i took a long drag on my free ciggs, in the last available smoking zone within the hotel, i reminded myself again as to WHY i chose to go back in the first place. i have no time to think of the major cons *thepast* and need to only focus on the future. i hate it when i am put in a spot and automatically second guess myself. but without the occasional 'yer ker aku macam gitu ker' or 'am i really like that' kinda questions, then self realisations will have no opporturnities to surface. hence....no time to think. did all the thinking and now to concentrate on the doing and pushing for consistency!
as they say practice makes perfect and i don't look like a haggard nyonya lah!!!!! >( i have to put bun up my hair you see and i wear tinted wire frame ala chegu bedah glasses *whichitookoffaftermuchbitchingfromthemanagers*, apparently i can't wear my type of glasses at front office. i already told them to give me a bit of time and i'll get new glasses but for now i can't see very well but of course the bitching HAD to go on. die siak...everything oso have to buy new!! and get this! the juniors are not allowed to wear any earrings, not even small studs as its a 'priviledge' given only to managers and above *prrrft* aper jer!!!!!! *fumes* add plak we MUST wear only skin colored stockings *minewasgreyishhoneyish* and i had to change to a pair that made my legs look fake and wooden :S it also sucks that i lost too much weight and bear very very close resemblance to olive oyl *gundekpopeyetue* and everyone can't stop themselves from telling me to put on weight thinking that i'm sick... gua biasa ah, step denial. "iiiiiJIIT?!!! too skinny meh? i tot i look very sexy leyy." *openeyesbigBIG* since when was it a crime to lose weight ah?
well, whatever it is! priorities are priorities and no one can bear the heavy burden of responsibilty for another. if you want to you can of course but i do hope i'd never have to pause to think of the consequences when i ever ter-want to carry anything for anyone :P i will try to perfect the 'art' of giving and receiving nasihat or advise *foaaaar* and FOCUS on my new year resolutions *saaaaap*
i promise to do my best,
to do my duty to god,
to serve my country and
help other people and
to keep to ALL my promises,
for the good, the bad and et all.
okay dah...if you find the above familiar its because its a revised my-version of the Girl Guide's promise dah :D
stay sane,
amyemeelea
2 comments:
the hotel industry is famous for its 'in-house politics'
Tell me something I don't know. Wifey keeps me updated of her problems all the time. But I guess work politics applies almost everywhere else too.
but for now i can't see very well
I just hope you can see well enough to give someone a good clean handshake as opposed to shaking their "something-else". Manalah tau. Tak bley nampak apa. :D
since when was it a crime to lose weight ah?
Since everyone else got fatter and wanted to feel good about themselves... which is fine as long as they don't go overboard with slandering skinny people like me... and you? However, I must say podgy is kinda nice. Maybe it's the lecak-ish, ceplok-ceplok sound effect that comes along with it. But how would I know? We're all skinny here. *sigh*
yeah dats right ayong so tak guna lar nak pk mi-k pasal ahli polikus sumer nie. jus today i got the duty manager tell me not to stand with the duty managers time briefing at back ofis?!!! some people just have loads of headspace to let sumthing bother them like dat. kira diri mana pong nak kena ikot 'pangkat' *glaresmanja*
"which is fine as long as they don't go overboard with slandering skinny people like me... and you?"
hehehe...it must be lar ;P mana besh kalau kena tulang *oooOOps!!!*
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