mystery solved..

Thomas S. Monson once said:
Perhaps the surest test of an individual's integrity is his refusal to do or say anything that would damage his self-respect.

*jeng jeng jeng*

lynx updated her facebook status with "sometimes people put up walls not to keep people out but to see who cares enough to break it down". i read it and couldn't help but smile. i know quite a few people like that. its not necessarily a very good strategy if you want to gain trust from your peers but situationally placed...anything that works best (based on your own experience) shall reap the end goal desired. i LOVE to generalise (a broad brush just makes things easier to finish painting) and call everyone a black kettle but yeaps, truth is i'm jus a wee lil pee-pot my self and BLACK to boot :D

and yes..... the self went poof! for a bit because i was spooked by the ghost of crapdoodle! *lolol* i managed to exorcise the demon (it was a wolf in chicken feathers so to speak) though!! *huraaaaaaaaaay* and come what may..the self is here to stay *amen* its easy once you know how. i did it with a few carefully placed words, lots of understanding and patience, a wee bit of effort and most importantly sincerity from the heart and thats all that are needed to scare away these demons in thier many guises. never underestimate the 'power of silent talking'. abg don sent me an email late april with tips on how to maximise it and then came the ultimate power booster from akhi halim. i have it here and for those intrested for a translation, holler people ;)

how to change any type of fear, tips when faced with demons (whether its a **thing or person)


- FACE it, people/thing. (this is the HARDEST)
- watch and listen.
- project love and patience to the person/thing with compassion in an Endeavour to understand and even enjoy.
- this way you're allowing people/thing to voice their insecurities. You're standing tall for people/thing by momentarily subjugating your ego's needs for theirs.
- you are becoming pro-active rather than re-active and standing tall for people/thing.
- you'd realise you are in fact controlling your dialogue so that the other person/thing can talk and feel more secure.
- no need to dominate, because you don't have to compete.


**i beleive even things have feelings and they might not be able to 'voice it out' but if you 'listen' hard enough, you could definately 'hear' it speak. just like songs?

take above steps and practice as often as you can when you're faced with your demons (devils wear prada or in my case polo/tissot, which makes it easier to face). You will feel scared, confused, angry maybe or even plain right disgusted at first. bit by bit you will realize that by taking the above steps, its fun not to have to do things that you don't want or not like to feel more secure (like go poof! when you really don't want to or say something you don't mean at all). in time, you get to go with the flow with much clarity and peace :) realization will dawn within that you are in fact perpetually secure (FEARLESS! in fact) and the answers to all your ignorance or mystery love songs will be SHOWN to you. sometimes answers LITERALLY thrown at you and shake you up to positive action. ehk? scrap the song ok...that belongs to another story!!:p the booster is in arab though and meant for fellow muslims. BUT! don't let it faze you. rest easy that affirmations/supplications made in ANY language will find it ways ;)

"Allahumma arinal haqqa haqqan warzuq nattiba’ah wa arinal batila batilan warzuqnajtinabah"

now that i'm not living in nauseating fear. what do i do? hunt the terrors down, clean my room, finish my assignments, pack for australia, search for a job, search for a house/room/tree, get my butt back up straight and the list goes on and on and OOOOOOOnnnnnnnnnnn...*arrrrrrrrrrrrrgh!* everything on my next to do list looks like another set of crapdoodle to deal with *prrrft* mak ton is right, i should be called "amy search-ING"

alas........if my search is for the TRUTH, then amy searching pon amy searching lar! and i ain't scared of any truth....even if its as humiliatingly scary as crapdoodle.

stay sane,
j.amyemeelea

ps: biks...thank you for the nudge. banana might fruit 2-3 times but this time...da injek mandul. pisang tinggal hiasan hehehehe...