the plight of the da'if..

You ask questions, you bring forth topics to discuss and debate, you highlight inconcguarties and then try to reconcile differences. U seek for uniformity in things that were revealed t you via books, conversations and direct experience (like teevee!!) . U share because you care I guess. You didn’t know whether what you had in your grasp was good or evil but it intrigued you to no end that you must speak about it. So you do.

You’re like the hermit lost in darkness. Or the fool lost in his dreams. Dare I say you are as bent as the rib of man. You feel the anxiety and dread of confusion. Where do you go with this heaviness in your heart? How do you ease the burdens of knowledge that is pressing you down. Will you be able to reveal these questions and answers that you seek? You are BENT *hurhurhur* to find out! ….by any means necessary.
So you go to those whom you trust. Those who are closest to you as well as those who have lead you by example of good deeds and of reputable character. Most often than not, you would choose someone who has shown you love. This someone you look upon as a teacher. Your teacher. To them you pour your anguish, your innermost honest opinions and your fears. You plead ignorance but more often than aught, you challenge these people to make you understand. UNBENT me you ask.

But……..

Many of those you approach label you as difficult, argumentative. They find it difficult to reach out to you because you’re incoherent. They can’t make out your needs, your intention! Maybe some won’t even judge and trust their own inticnts and just leave you to grope in the dark. you lack in enthusiasm they reason politely. One must not qyestion instead just follow what is said letter by letter, no questions asked please. You push forward trying to reach level ground. Instead of looking you in the eye and try to square you, they Iet you go and solve your own questions because as it IS – you are not a responsibility. Only a choice. Worst are those others who try to break you down by force and ultimatums till you either get bent out of shape or *ishkk* you get bent broken :(

*exhale*

Do you know the difference between plain ignorance and arrogance? *tsssskKK*

stay as you are,

emeelea

ps: yang bertakhta akhirnya sings m. nasir.....aku akur, hanya jauhari mengenal manikam...sangat LAIN tak sama dengan johari mengenal maniam!