hate is baggage..

i finished the lost symbol and woah! what a ride it was....but must say, fiction is as fiction does. the impression it leaves wasn't as deep as i wanted it to be. although! it lead me to ars notoria.too bad internet connection is still out so am not able to do my extended nightly prowl over the world wide web and satiate ravenous need to read.

i've started on the reader by bernhard schlink. the gem of this paragraph stuck too close to home :-

"Why? Why does what was beautiful suddenly shatter in hindsight because it concealed dark truths? Why does the memory of years of happy marriage turn to gall when our partner is revealed to have had a lover all those years? Because such a situation makes it impossible to be happy? But we were happy! Sometimes the memory of happiness cannot stay true because it ended unhappily. Because happiness is only real if it lasts forever? Because things always end painfully if they contained pain, conscious or unconscious, all along? But what is unconscious, unrecognized pain? " ~ chapter 9, page 37.

last saturday after work i went over to lina's and chilled. i seriously do NOT enjoy karaoke but we did a round on thursday *blearghhh!* the things i do to cheer my friends ehk? thank god we didn't do any karaoke that saturday night but watched the movie Agora instead. there wasn't much i could have discussed with her but at least i got to watch it in full with no jams in between at her place. lapicits wasn't too kind on the dvd, and i really can't be bothered to hook up my tv and player. we walked from her place in sengkang to jalan kayu muahaha! and supper at mad jacks was nice. i got much more reaction from lina when we watched what happened in vegas? chick flicks *prrrft* what can i say? never fails to cheer the gals *notmetho* up hehe.

sunday made my way slowly back and i keep thinking about the terrors. it must be end of exams and i should be able to see them soon. i wasted time and watched american history x and THAT is my kinda movie. griity yet and emotional boiler...all the characters were finely tuned. racism...and any isms point out to a point of source. its really up to us to follow its trails and peek into our carried baggage. you either clean them out! or carry it with you...not without repercussions. no space for musings in emoley. once done i was off to meet mr. ted who drove by for a quickie. the work of facebook yet again! >p we touched base and merely caught up and rammed 20 years of absence in 2 hours. mr. ted is an ex colleague from my hotelier days. he hasn't change muhc except for his girth *lol* but still the same easy-going guy i know. just now...he's also severely spooked from getting hitched soon. who isn't??!

work is work and TADAH! terror 1 called today using a new number to ask if i could kidnap them this weekend :) she failed her maths and i was right again. the green eyed monster changed the home number so that i don't keep calling. i wonder when he's going to stop from being so fucking childish about our relationship. does he really think he can separate the kids from me? terror 1 made me promise NOT to call her but she will try he best to make the connection again yet 'no one' is around. and i told her don't worry about failing...she'd have another chance. most important is she tried her best and we'll have to pick through 'why' only when i get to see her. best kan ada mama terror macam nie? :p

besides trying to slot in time to hike up syariah courts anytime soon, i received a call from the IRAS *gasp* shitte! totally forgot i need to settle my taxes *gulps* and the iras guy told me he had to hunt me down via ms. panjang. ex boss *eeeeeeeeks* well, thats another to do to add on my list *pancits* my passport is STILL missing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so thats another to do.

house hunt wasn't too good. i made my way to amston and finally met the myanmar gals. supposedly gards from NUS and all of them singaporean PRs. i had a glimmer of hope. i'm sure i could settle down with the girls since they must be building a home far away from home right? after all the 9 years spent in singy? IT professionals it seems all of them. BUT!!! england standard way below even terror 3's. HOW CAN LAR SIAK! and beleive it or not...the home wasn't a home at all. it was like being transported to a village in myanmar when i stepped in. my last rented place in chai chee (which was DA GHETTO) was more livable. i found myself thinking this is the STANDARD of living for NUS grads and sporean prs?? ok..i know i shouldn't judge just by this 1 experience BUT makcow~!!! no wonder lar...many locals are angry. it truly seemed to me they were not here to make a HOME but more of taking advantage of our 'friendly to FTs' policy :(

i have to pay 800 rental not inclusive of utilities mind you! and also share cleaning expenses (err....you don't know how to clean ure own house ijit?) for a single room. the other 2 rooms are shared by 4 (FOUR FUCKING FOUR) gals. no smoking in my room too...and no guests coming over unless approved by the rest. which is only polite BUT...but but...forget it. nothing against you myanmarese but i cannot reconcile the fact that you made a nice condo into a communal village complete with grass mats in the living room.

fuck it.

i need to look for a tree or ship to johor!

*tskkkkkkkk* super annoyed but hey...mr. KFC to cheer me up today??

stay sane,

J@e

ps: may the GALL be with you che.diambunuh. can you please get out of my head already?! *pushkickkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkdebikdebikdebikssss* oops! Ohmm...i'm suppose to pray for GOOD instead :p