saturday out.

i gate crashed cita yesterday after work and was just in time to watch an angklung performance. the main intention was to touch noses with 3 interesting ladies i met last year and hopefully whisk them away for a personal tete a tete afters.  

the afters didn't happen because the girls had to do a de-brief and main macha woman che. anna was battling the flu while hosting the gig and stuff. all my hat-tips to this woman. while at it, i realised that it was a year ago maybe not exactly, that i was at the same event. coincidently again it was its second last instalment. i met some new people but some others from the last year, one of whom had a 12 month old baby!! she was pregnant the last time and teacher of the group of boys performing dikir barat. she remembered me maybe faintly from the last time and i wondered, did i make any impression at all from besides my common face.

i realised that i wore a similar strapless black dress. only this time, i had over my shoulders kama's stunning chikan shawl in black and hues of burnt ochre and reds. last year i had an antique kebaya with my dress. both are black and if last year was shiny stain, this year it was black mute velvet with a laced cut border at the bottom. BOTH dresses inherited from shikino. a fleeting moment of coincidences.

i didn't want to crash their debrief and traipsed off to meet che. lebabi incarnate fig2. the initial plan was to drag him to meet the girls and ease him (rather informally) back into the dating scene. i wanted him to know that women don't live in your heads. idealised person don't naturally materialise in reality. you got to reach out and feel and think around these ideals and form an opinion. the girls were told of my impromptu plan and they were excited about meeting a new face. they didn't like the fact it was only ONE guy (maybe not enough to go around) but i argued, it was NOT a date - date. or even a debutante ball. it was just coffee and dinner if all were game.

anyway, the girls promised to text later after their debrief and round up if time permits and i went over to drag mr. lebabi incarnate fig2 off for dinner. we had chicken rice and we argued about sharing a plate of liver. mr. fig2 told me of another engagement invite that he didn't want to go to and i told him why go if you don't feel like it AND i am not going to be his tag along friend for this. i had in mind to dish up sambal sardine and crispy prata at home. so it was settled then. we'd have dinner and hang out to catch up with the boys at pondok before we end saturday. he was to drop me off and then see his mom for late night grocery shopping and thought of heading into jb later tonight to top up petrol. i told him just call if he needed company but no way am i going to meet him mom and his aunt in my strapless dress. he already SAID i was naked. i didn't need that affirmation from makciks.

sneak peek away from work a done deal for this Saturday we both agreed.

i came back to an empty home and kama texted to say he blew up a land filled mine with bombs in Cambodia. he must be at the killing fields. i wish he did find that sweet spot to meditate. i ate and mr. fig2 texted later to say night into jb was off and he'd go tomorrow with his mom and aunty. the matchmaking streak by parents is strong with this one but i didn't want to say it. it worked for many and why not him? i just wish he'd laugh a lot more.

i cleaned up and happy that i don't have to worry about cooking tomorrow with the sambal sardine ready on the stove. i could just cook some rice and fry some veges for late lunch. as usual i'd talk to the plants and potter about settling the house. domesticated me to bring on theraphy always is lovely. a leisurely weekend sounds like bliss. kama said goodnight and just one more day from welcoming him home. I've always liked that we can each go on in seek of our own to come back again and seek comfort and love in our togetherness.

sleep and then late morning sunday morning brekkie done.

che. anna just sent her thank you for showing up yesterday and another big reason to catch up was to celebrate completion of he MA in malay studies at the NUS. next year she will be moving to another school to head the malay department! i just want her to get well and i know i will put in that effort for that spa weekend with her soon. too bad she has switched off from FB because that is how i tend to catch up with people now.

that realisation left me sad.

it is 3pm and i need only to prepare dinner for myself and sort the laundry. i'm going to pop in a movie and miss kama. i will renew my license and BOOK those DAMN lessons this evening. if ms. softie darlie can make changes for the unknown then i can to.

mantra for this week - be the change you want to see.

stay sane,

j.amy

ps : although i can't see myself quitting the fags just about now :p sorry terrors!