another dotty *pottu* connected...

"There are three kinds of intelligence: one kind understands things for itself, the other appreciates what others can understand, the third understands neither for itself nor through others. This first kind is excellent, the second good, and the third kind useless. – N. Machiavelli"

Me at home now. Quickly emailed this so that I can finish it at home. While at the office, I flipped through and fro pages *workrelatedplusthispage* to ease the monotony of boredom. I very much wanted to write last night but I flipped open the thriller novel “The Insider” to fall asleep to. Millions have always fascinated me too; Gordon Gecko ‘was’ my idol :P so it was to be that I could not really sleep as the storyline was gripping my eyelids apart for the next page. My fingers itched to sms the lost soul but I told myself the last sms clearly stated that he’s not lost now so what will my reason be, to jolt him with another cloyingly sweet sms of encouragement? Hope tickled my fingers again but instead of receding to impetuosity, I tossed to my left and buried myself deep to try to see if I could entice mr. sandman for a bit of much needed happy dreams. HE was funky so no sleep for me. I ended up drinking redbull at work today. Anyway, I finished the book today on the way back. Worked until I can’t work no more and i could have went on until ms. kakakku2, who drove today; asked if I wanted to hitch a ride back and of course! Needed to get home fast and finish this entry before it starts to eat away more sleep time. I FEAR insomnia so it was tense waiting abated by loads of work and a breezy easy way home so that I can just drop dead at smell of my blankie.

Earlier on last night, I had dinner and finally met wombatman! The coquettish bikbayu was present of course and sorely missed was the wonderdiva powwsters. She had to give us a miss because family duty beckons. I got lost on the way to dinner at bugis. Partly because another half of me was with lost soul but the other part of me was, firmly bent on trying to get my way to dinner without being late. Plans for tonight were made way in advance and a promise is a promise. I even stated disclaimers to avoid misunderstandings should the need to cancel arose; should it be that I needed to cancel, it must be that the terrors needed me or I had a serious case of the runs :p I was experiencing major dis-EASE but it soon settled far back into the darker recesses of my shadow self. We had to switch to a smoking table because I had to smoke. Then the table was shaky so we switched seats again. However, we had to move the table because it was not in the smoking area! :P we started on dinner, ceasar salmon and then the seafood platter for two *ahemsthree* utensils went missing but all in all the experience at fish & co, bugis was all right. It was then full steam ahead with much laughter and get to know me and you strings of conversation. Yes, politics included *muehehe* Steamy!! My armpits were dripping wet hehehe…and I was just glad that wombat and bikbayu played cool and along with my antics. The tempo to the night’s concerto was just picking up.

*burp* it was change of venue for laterssssssss.

Wombatman the gentleman that he is, picked up the tab and they both made me seriously blush when they insisted that dinner was on them. *aaaarghhhh!soflatteredmeguestofhonour* and we made our way to the secret garden. The start of our next adventure was when bikbayu suddenly exclaimed she forgot where the secret garden was! So I called the restaurant to ask for directions and boy was Ronnie *theheadwaiterithink* very good at giving very precise directions. After chasing after buses and looking out for a small very intimate crook nestled comfortably hidden in between two buildings, we finally arrived at our coffee and deserts place. Red walls lit by framed candles, their flickering light dancing flirtatiously set the mood for our second session. We were served by shhh! :p and we all had coffee and shared ice cream. The Ronnie guy totally flipped me when he asked if I went to this primary school and that secondary school. I was of course shell-shocked. For *once* I was really caught speechless. Then he went away, the hoots around me coming from bikbayu and wombat familiarly turned into the theme song twilight zone. I was convinced someone somewhere recognizes me from school but I did not see anyone familiar. I did not think so much about it and continued our tete a tete. BUT!!! Creepy Ronnie coolly came back for returns abit later, probably having to much fun seeing me squirm in my seat to ask me if I was a girl guide in school and if I was a bad student *gahhhhhh* but I was too engrossed already lost myself in the camaderie to give any conspiracy theories any attention *hehe* we did got to know each other better and I read wombat’s cards. We were shooed away at 11pm because they had to close and the night soon ended with all three of us taking the walk back to the train station. I found a neat surprise of a napkin, a fork and a knife courtesy of fish & co *hahahaah* while rummaging through my bag for my ezlink card. We all took the same train and bikbayu left for home at jurong while wombat and me took another train back up north. Bikbayu sent me an sms to make confirm I did not get lost and wombat sent me an sms to meet again *blowskisheslikems.universe* Pleasure was all mine guys, free food *nexttimeonme*, good laughs and meaningful conversations plus the on and off the cuff remarks is always fun.

The train was nearly empty by then when wombat alighted at kranji for some quiet :D I was tired happy but my DIS-eased heart was nagging me groggy. The DIS-ease in stealth mode came back and my thoughts fly over the cloudless sky. Its nice to feel understood : ) Even nicer to finally able to ‘get’ someone. We live with constant contradictions and it is hard to hear yourself over the din sometimes. The din in your head when let loose and the din combined with the ruckus always going on in your hearts can be deafening. Then when it gets to heave heavy; you just react. Classic cases of fight or flight instincts and then you just have to deal with the leftovers. Sometimes its yummilicious to the soul and maybe at times cuts it to pieces till all bloody and gory and it will be painful to even swallow a mouthful of spit. Does your soul crave for understanding? Do we need exceptional intelligentsia to be understood and to understand? On the other hand, maybe a sense of humility can do wonders in pursue of getting that attention and focus we crave for? Humor is always good to add to anything but I know that mule stubbornness will not get you anywhere. Often I just have to be everywhere at the same time, never taking the time to connect the dots. So, patience then is the key?! *nodsnods*

Eh?! Isn’t this supposed to be a happy entry? With me calm and collected at the end? well, I did my best and sometimes my best is just not enough, not even for me.

I think therefore I am. I see therefore I think I understand. I know therefore I must understand. I feel therefore it will be understood.

Stay sane,
amyemeelea

Ps: biksetan! I will survive clip was a riot :P and thank you. Truly.