first! it was the call of a need from a prick of a ghost that wouldn't die. even after i put in a LOT of trust that this friendly ghost was a happy free wandering back to his wifey every night ghost. but it didn't really bother me so much, i'd get a rational scientific explanantion from the scientist when he gets on the phone tonight ;p
then it was an email from makcik Jberoks..a follow up on teleconversation to comply to datelines and threats of unleashing the auditors on me. BOO YAH! ooOooo yeah...i'm so blaaardy scared~ that i'm shitting my pants. NOT. i ordered mcdonalds instead and then felt super bloated. verdict on samurai burger..its too sweet and never order a DOUBLE. oh.my.lord......the meat is still just sitting there. UGH!~
ultimately the sharpest bite from draggy wednesday was a check on my bank accounts. i needed to do banking and saw that there was 600 bucks missing. i called the bank and hey told me "err...yeah..its being held by IRAS." nabooooooooooooooo, nabeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh my head screamed. i thought we had settled this?! *)(*(*^&%^$%$@$#@$%!%#^!&*#^(!*&#( so i smsed the boss for a morning run to beg for my money back tomorrow morning. granted! *phew* just hope they find me pitiful and GIVE ME BACK my money evil crapdoodles. its not even my fault in the first place that they told me they received all the ncesssary and then not confirm my taxes just because i need to personally declare my earnings. hell! i thought we are super efficient singaporeans. does my commie views have something to do with this? haven't i been lying low with my comments *ahems* about singapore?!!! do you REALLY need my vote next year hence this lesson to punish me and make me go through all this bureaucratic shitttttttttteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. actually, i'm confident it'd be another walkover and i won't get to vote but what did i do WRONG! dehemit ler...i'm just a lowly paid rat in a far far away old...yes OLD condominium ley.
anywho, i seriously need to cut down on eats and detox for this week man :( a run will feel good now to dispel all the bad vibes from today.
mencik ah!
j@e
ps: when no one trusted you to do good, i did. and every single time you managed to prove them right and me wrong. WHAT THE FARK IS wrong/right with you?!!!!!!!!!!!
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
defragmentation 2011..
"Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find those worth suffering for.~ Bob Marley"
i'm back to running. my thighs hurt. shall i draw up resolutions? must i think of 2011. birthday countdown. i miss terrors. marry to love, love to marry (no this is NOT a movie title). i hate my accounts (meaning YOU makcik Jberoks) in charge. i have NO lift to new flat! 3 more days to 2011. i want to eat white peeper crabs. i have 600 minutes left for calls to india. tuching is tanduki major. noooOOOOoooooooo thunder thigggggggggghs!!!! one to wear and the other to smell. YES! to birthday trip. defrag! defrag! still fire is most cleansing. burn baby BURN. ashes don't hurt, won't cause suffering. at most mata pedih masok debu :D
otey sane,
kitty's going back home *purrrRR*
ps: YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!! to gedung songo! *biteskama*
i'm back to running. my thighs hurt. shall i draw up resolutions? must i think of 2011. birthday countdown. i miss terrors. marry to love, love to marry (no this is NOT a movie title). i hate my accounts (meaning YOU makcik Jberoks) in charge. i have NO lift to new flat! 3 more days to 2011. i want to eat white peeper crabs. i have 600 minutes left for calls to india. tuching is tanduki major. noooOOOOoooooooo thunder thigggggggggghs!!!! one to wear and the other to smell. YES! to birthday trip. defrag! defrag! still fire is most cleansing. burn baby BURN. ashes don't hurt, won't cause suffering. at most mata pedih masok debu :D
otey sane,
kitty's going back home *purrrRR*
ps: YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!! to gedung songo! *biteskama*
Monday, December 27, 2010
it creeps and then wham!
greatness! i have found a room for myself in woodlands. it wasn't too difficult to decide because dateline was end of this year or at LEAST by january (my next birthday). that was what i promised bobi anyway.
i was a bit hesitant to tell bobi about the move, of course lar! he threw a pot at the wall when i tried to move earlier this year! so i wanted to be very subtle and gentle with my 'good news' lest he gets very emotional about it but i believe shikino has sorted him out since then and convinced him that its better to let me go if i wanted too because shortly afters he was sharign with me about his plans to move out to a SMALLER place. because i am so proficient with reading in between lines, the part where he said "what will happen to you?" was replied accordingly with "i won't die lar of course. i'd move out and i'll start looking right away." i remember this conversation succinctly because it was one of the lowest periods of this year when i got retrenched and worried about getting a new job.
i guess that was a good time for bobi as any other to tell me about his plans to upgrade to a condominium lar :p and that he won't have space of lil wee me. i felt the dent in my heart right after but i took it all in because i'm the lousy good for nothing sister you see. so this is penance i told myself. serve me right for being such a freeloader all this while (even though at i freeloaded at his behest or maybe i imagined this?!). the optimistic in me turned to look on the brighter side after a bout of sleepless nights. i was suffering from heartache you see.
so after that i've been more or less ready to move out and one of the things to do was to cut of the starhub connections at home. THIS was the very thing that gave me the window to slip past bobi about moving out. as usual i 'borrowed' his landline to check on email and such and he was nagging at me about how inconvenient it was for him. so he was urging me to go get my internet fixed or at least get a wireless thing going on soon. BINGO! an opening for me to 'selit daun' about my move....his reply was "wow, is this an early christmas present for me?".
yeakdish!~ okay that hurt-ED. it must have showed on my face because he tried to give me chocolates he bought from his turkey trip. i declined because i heard my phone and i knew it was kama. i buried my hurt at his callous reply with kama's soothing hellos from kay el :) well, i'm glad that bobi is happy with with early christmas gift. who knew that the timing was just RIGHT.
stay sane,
j.amyemeelea
ps: i had to repeat the above conversation in the car for shikino's benefit. at least she was silent in her replies. i must learn that IF i ever need to talk to bobi about anything..shikino MUST be around or bear witness lar. penat tau repeat2 :p and here i thought their communication was tight *prrrft*
i was a bit hesitant to tell bobi about the move, of course lar! he threw a pot at the wall when i tried to move earlier this year! so i wanted to be very subtle and gentle with my 'good news' lest he gets very emotional about it but i believe shikino has sorted him out since then and convinced him that its better to let me go if i wanted too because shortly afters he was sharign with me about his plans to move out to a SMALLER place. because i am so proficient with reading in between lines, the part where he said "what will happen to you?" was replied accordingly with "i won't die lar of course. i'd move out and i'll start looking right away." i remember this conversation succinctly because it was one of the lowest periods of this year when i got retrenched and worried about getting a new job.
i guess that was a good time for bobi as any other to tell me about his plans to upgrade to a condominium lar :p and that he won't have space of lil wee me. i felt the dent in my heart right after but i took it all in because i'm the lousy good for nothing sister you see. so this is penance i told myself. serve me right for being such a freeloader all this while (even though at i freeloaded at his behest or maybe i imagined this?!). the optimistic in me turned to look on the brighter side after a bout of sleepless nights. i was suffering from heartache you see.
so after that i've been more or less ready to move out and one of the things to do was to cut of the starhub connections at home. THIS was the very thing that gave me the window to slip past bobi about moving out. as usual i 'borrowed' his landline to check on email and such and he was nagging at me about how inconvenient it was for him. so he was urging me to go get my internet fixed or at least get a wireless thing going on soon. BINGO! an opening for me to 'selit daun' about my move....his reply was "wow, is this an early christmas present for me?".
yeakdish!~ okay that hurt-ED. it must have showed on my face because he tried to give me chocolates he bought from his turkey trip. i declined because i heard my phone and i knew it was kama. i buried my hurt at his callous reply with kama's soothing hellos from kay el :) well, i'm glad that bobi is happy with with early christmas gift. who knew that the timing was just RIGHT.
stay sane,
j.amyemeelea
ps: i had to repeat the above conversation in the car for shikino's benefit. at least she was silent in her replies. i must learn that IF i ever need to talk to bobi about anything..shikino MUST be around or bear witness lar. penat tau repeat2 :p and here i thought their communication was tight *prrrft*
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
double digits countdown..
every year around this time, i be counting down to my birthday. it has always been a big deal for me as birthdays remind me of my mama and dad who'd fuss over parties and invite the whole neighborhood, family and friends to celebrate with me. it meant games, balloons and loads of presents! not forgetting how i look forward to kak long dolling me up to feel pretty. i'd be in a lace frock and i remember i sulked a lot too (i was a natural at that) if i didn't get things done my way. HEY! its my birthday attitude i still carry to this day.
as i got older, mama didn't fuss too much but she will always try to make it special. by my early teens i was to hold my own parties if i wanted any but she did promised a sweet 16th and my 21st party planned to be huge as she did for all her kids. mama didn't live past my 14th birthday :) but dad did alright and for my 16th i received a heart shaped locket and chain. he didn't live past my 21st but i got married instead muahaha...
so, its a nice surprise to get a stranger to start the countdown before me on facebook for my impending doubles coming january!!! terror 1 is also looking forward it and she's turning 11 :p and it IS 2011 *jeng jeng jeng* yar, screw me and my numerology shitte. terror 1 doesn't want anymore parties and i'm going to stay 33 all my life *hurhurhur*
the journey has just begun and i intend to take it all in. mas karna will be taking stock and defragment his whole in india and during the same time, i have plans to hide in a hole and re-stock as well. tempat senang is very appealing but more sad memories might just haunt or peek from the recesses and might NOT be such a good idea. its time to bury 2010 where it should be and scurry away hidden shadows and ghosts. it will do me good to be wild and feel free as i have been encouraged much.
no more crying on birthdays and especially not when its mine.
stay sane,
j.amyemeelea
ps: rivulets of sad trailed at the end of november 23rd. i now know why...it was me *us* finally saying goodbye. i truly mean it, "moga kau diteduhi cinta".
as i got older, mama didn't fuss too much but she will always try to make it special. by my early teens i was to hold my own parties if i wanted any but she did promised a sweet 16th and my 21st party planned to be huge as she did for all her kids. mama didn't live past my 14th birthday :) but dad did alright and for my 16th i received a heart shaped locket and chain. he didn't live past my 21st but i got married instead muahaha...
so, its a nice surprise to get a stranger to start the countdown before me on facebook for my impending doubles coming january!!! terror 1 is also looking forward it and she's turning 11 :p and it IS 2011 *jeng jeng jeng* yar, screw me and my numerology shitte. terror 1 doesn't want anymore parties and i'm going to stay 33 all my life *hurhurhur*
the journey has just begun and i intend to take it all in. mas karna will be taking stock and defragment his whole in india and during the same time, i have plans to hide in a hole and re-stock as well. tempat senang is very appealing but more sad memories might just haunt or peek from the recesses and might NOT be such a good idea. its time to bury 2010 where it should be and scurry away hidden shadows and ghosts. it will do me good to be wild and feel free as i have been encouraged much.
no more crying on birthdays and especially not when its mine.
stay sane,
j.amyemeelea
ps: rivulets of sad trailed at the end of november 23rd. i now know why...it was me *us* finally saying goodbye. i truly mean it, "moga kau diteduhi cinta".
Friday, December 03, 2010
in the least..
*phew*
i finished my rounds with the NEA aka mosquito busters at the estate. found more breeding and seriously can we be truly rid of these blodd suckers? especially with grounds as lush as we're in? hey! we still have chickens here and i nearly stepped on a LIZARD on my way out from the toilet. it was scaly and had a verrrrrrry long tail MIND you! and made me jump a wee bit. i don't mind the squirrels or the birds, sometimes fat cats BUT yucks....scaly lizards? biks will have a field day is she was here. might even chase after it to pet *gah!*
the terrors have been with me (or rather at kak tina's) for the whole week. we'd be celebrating her 51st birthday this weekend at east coast chalet. got them out for a bit of shopping, the usual trip to the bookstore and our monthly makan time out but they are asking if we could go on a dinosaur thingy or watch the movies. disney is out with their take on rapunzel this school holidays :p so I've been telling them we'll see how it goes for later this month.
it will be nice to spend the weekend with the terrors this week and so far the terrors have been very open about kama's presence. asking weird questions and giving me even weirder suggestions about my current attachment with him. they each have very distinct opinions but i'm glad they have accepted his invite for Christmas. even though terror 1 insist, she accepted under the influence of chocolates. terror 2 based his on the fact that he found kama attractive (i agree! hehehe) and terror 3 just plain inquisitive about who kama really is. she asked me the color of his walls and sofa??!!! and if he has a bathtub?? *errrk?!* i'm riding it all out as i always do, taking each day as it comes but must point out that he's been very supportive and sensitive about my insecurities. SO, yeaps....i trust that all will be well over snap baskets with clotted cream and strawberries and tell terror 1 not to worry about her engrish :p she's so afraid that kama will think her as 'silly' if she speaks singlish haha..so i told her to put on her best england accent ler :p anyway, the whole point is to prove to them that he doesn't EAT children.
i'm off too to kay da el finally! i kinda shot off my mouth and asked if i could watch kama in action at the annexe and *gulps* SEKALIK it turns out, its going to be a full packed weekend of saying hellos too, plus an interview?! i'm fussing over what the hell to wear but as usual come the day i'd just throw randoms into the bag *prffft* well, i'm positively grinning TILL D day to bongoland.
stay sane,
j.amyemeelea
ps: *waves* alo 'aunty'!! *gulps* errr...i'm muslim like your cats too! :p
i finished my rounds with the NEA aka mosquito busters at the estate. found more breeding and seriously can we be truly rid of these blodd suckers? especially with grounds as lush as we're in? hey! we still have chickens here and i nearly stepped on a LIZARD on my way out from the toilet. it was scaly and had a verrrrrrry long tail MIND you! and made me jump a wee bit. i don't mind the squirrels or the birds, sometimes fat cats BUT yucks....scaly lizards? biks will have a field day is she was here. might even chase after it to pet *gah!*
the terrors have been with me (or rather at kak tina's) for the whole week. we'd be celebrating her 51st birthday this weekend at east coast chalet. got them out for a bit of shopping, the usual trip to the bookstore and our monthly makan time out but they are asking if we could go on a dinosaur thingy or watch the movies. disney is out with their take on rapunzel this school holidays :p so I've been telling them we'll see how it goes for later this month.
it will be nice to spend the weekend with the terrors this week and so far the terrors have been very open about kama's presence. asking weird questions and giving me even weirder suggestions about my current attachment with him. they each have very distinct opinions but i'm glad they have accepted his invite for Christmas. even though terror 1 insist, she accepted under the influence of chocolates. terror 2 based his on the fact that he found kama attractive (i agree! hehehe) and terror 3 just plain inquisitive about who kama really is. she asked me the color of his walls and sofa??!!! and if he has a bathtub?? *errrk?!* i'm riding it all out as i always do, taking each day as it comes but must point out that he's been very supportive and sensitive about my insecurities. SO, yeaps....i trust that all will be well over snap baskets with clotted cream and strawberries and tell terror 1 not to worry about her engrish :p she's so afraid that kama will think her as 'silly' if she speaks singlish haha..so i told her to put on her best england accent ler :p anyway, the whole point is to prove to them that he doesn't EAT children.
i'm off too to kay da el finally! i kinda shot off my mouth and asked if i could watch kama in action at the annexe and *gulps* SEKALIK it turns out, its going to be a full packed weekend of saying hellos too, plus an interview?! i'm fussing over what the hell to wear but as usual come the day i'd just throw randoms into the bag *prffft* well, i'm positively grinning TILL D day to bongoland.
stay sane,
j.amyemeelea
ps: *waves* alo 'aunty'!! *gulps* errr...i'm muslim like your cats too! :p
Saturday, November 20, 2010
to fit a description..
the saying goes that a picture speaks a thousand words but more so that fleeting moments in the presence of something yet nothing is indescribable.
to see a shooting star, witness the glow of the setting sunset or following the trail of dusk maybe even submitting your will to the pull of the open sea waves must just be 'felt'. it could be that you can find the words to immortalise it into memory but how so ill equipt are we?
unless.....you just leave the words as how they are meant to be, just words and succumb in its beauty. silence could just be the most befitting description of the truly wonderful. but i do like it when you ask why. it means you respect and honor me with the intelligence sensitive enough to give every moment meaning.
solitude has run its course and turn itself into a crystalline beauty of depth and enormous potential real feelings. YESSAR!!! * somersaults* no more run of the mill conversations although it adds the comedy of reality. you could not fit a description *blush* but...i give you......quiet.
wishing you the peace karna :) lets thank the bugger up there and of course facebook *hurhurhurhur* date is ONS tomorrow, see you at the gate woooooooooohoooooooooo!
stay sane,
j.amyemeelea
ps: sheshhh~...otey, this is public declaration of sorts. starting errr tomorrow? its all going to written and given. originality *pokespokes* will be rewarded ;)
to see a shooting star, witness the glow of the setting sunset or following the trail of dusk maybe even submitting your will to the pull of the open sea waves must just be 'felt'. it could be that you can find the words to immortalise it into memory but how so ill equipt are we?
unless.....you just leave the words as how they are meant to be, just words and succumb in its beauty. silence could just be the most befitting description of the truly wonderful. but i do like it when you ask why. it means you respect and honor me with the intelligence sensitive enough to give every moment meaning.
solitude has run its course and turn itself into a crystalline beauty of depth and enormous potential real feelings. YESSAR!!! * somersaults* no more run of the mill conversations although it adds the comedy of reality. you could not fit a description *blush* but...i give you......quiet.
wishing you the peace karna :) lets thank the bugger up there and of course facebook *hurhurhurhur* date is ONS tomorrow, see you at the gate woooooooooohoooooooooo!
stay sane,
j.amyemeelea
ps: sheshhh~...otey, this is public declaration of sorts. starting errr tomorrow? its all going to written and given. originality *pokespokes* will be rewarded ;)
Thursday, November 18, 2010
wishes...
"i wish i can pass all my exams and be very good in my math and art tool~ Terror 1"
that was posted on my google chrome courtesy of terror 1 who was here over the weekend. it was a girls weekend without terror 2 who got a trip to malacca with his favorite cousin because he aced his year end exams. yeaps, the boy got first place *woots!* and already he has asked for a beyblade as a prize.
i had wanted to post a short poem i wrote about wishing stars but since now it has been replaced by the above, i stand firm to jotting my notes in pen and paper. she obviously was following my train of thoughts when she posted the above and good to know she's very serious about her studies and art *ahems* wishes are of course nothing without the aid of hardwork and the detrmination to follow your dreams wherever it may lead you. notwithstanding the insurmountable obstacles that can stand in ones way. like mine perhaps...of wishes to have a home to call my own. to have the terrors with me, to be at my beck and call *hurhur* to bully and kiss goodnight. everynight in fact :)
which brings me to wax lyrical about my bumps into wishes coming true of late. of these are personal of nature, not shared by kinship. these too are wishes of security, understanding and lots of giving, of doing things at random and purely out of simple desires. promises of nothing asked in return and actually fufilling acts of desire that races the pulse and so heats the loins it emanates heat *blush*
i've been granted by genie or the celestial of the enigma i have so chased and yearned for but in its surreal beauty i still have yet to grasp where it all leads to and ask about its destination. i want to avoid being extremely literal here because one should always practice caution when wishing for the ethereal. in case of it turning to 'wishful thinking' or worst literally granted word for word :p for then it will surely lose its magic yes?
define having all your dreams and wishes come true and humbly give thanks i believe is the best that one can ever do. as they don't often come true as easily as they appear to be. nothing...is not without sacrifice i realise but i am willing to just this once lead myself to believe hope springs eternal for those willing to give themselves up as i did and plunge into bliss. just this moment to savour and believe, i too am deserving of wishes coming true, not one but three and oh so easily ;)
okay tido!
stay sane,
j.amymeelea
ps: ah so~ mood jiwangs sua mari melambai-lambai but here! here! the cynic and realist me still lurks.
that was posted on my google chrome courtesy of terror 1 who was here over the weekend. it was a girls weekend without terror 2 who got a trip to malacca with his favorite cousin because he aced his year end exams. yeaps, the boy got first place *woots!* and already he has asked for a beyblade as a prize.
i had wanted to post a short poem i wrote about wishing stars but since now it has been replaced by the above, i stand firm to jotting my notes in pen and paper. she obviously was following my train of thoughts when she posted the above and good to know she's very serious about her studies and art *ahems* wishes are of course nothing without the aid of hardwork and the detrmination to follow your dreams wherever it may lead you. notwithstanding the insurmountable obstacles that can stand in ones way. like mine perhaps...of wishes to have a home to call my own. to have the terrors with me, to be at my beck and call *hurhur* to bully and kiss goodnight. everynight in fact :)
which brings me to wax lyrical about my bumps into wishes coming true of late. of these are personal of nature, not shared by kinship. these too are wishes of security, understanding and lots of giving, of doing things at random and purely out of simple desires. promises of nothing asked in return and actually fufilling acts of desire that races the pulse and so heats the loins it emanates heat *blush*
i've been granted by genie or the celestial of the enigma i have so chased and yearned for but in its surreal beauty i still have yet to grasp where it all leads to and ask about its destination. i want to avoid being extremely literal here because one should always practice caution when wishing for the ethereal. in case of it turning to 'wishful thinking' or worst literally granted word for word :p for then it will surely lose its magic yes?
define having all your dreams and wishes come true and humbly give thanks i believe is the best that one can ever do. as they don't often come true as easily as they appear to be. nothing...is not without sacrifice i realise but i am willing to just this once lead myself to believe hope springs eternal for those willing to give themselves up as i did and plunge into bliss. just this moment to savour and believe, i too am deserving of wishes coming true, not one but three and oh so easily ;)
okay tido!
stay sane,
j.amymeelea
ps: ah so~ mood jiwangs sua mari melambai-lambai but here! here! the cynic and realist me still lurks.
Monday, November 08, 2010
a whirlwind of sweet eros~
sounds of basia...sade and india arie is playing in the background. i remember the night lebabi introduced me to the song "ready for love" by india arie and how it affected me. i wondered if kasos sent him the love song...did it mirror her longing as much as it did mine? as how each soul yearns to reunite with its other half. the song was nearly too perfect.
no one in their right mind could deny the strings that tug to the heart when listening to that song. with each pluck of the notes that accompany arie's soulful singing, it should move anyone to tears or at least bow humbly to such a simple request. of baring one's sentimentality....a need to be loved and love in return.
*sigh*
perspectives change over time yes? for now, mine has for better and for worse *YESSSAR!!* life never cease to teach us a thing or many. silence has spoken back to me like never before as i come face to face with words such as these :)
Then plant thy kisses upon my verdant field,
shower this dry plain with thy tender caresses;
Though this forlorn land none have tilled,
Its spring I find amidst thy tresses.
Tomorrow is a distant land,
Mine eyes, they see no further;
In blindness I reach out, touch, behold with trembling fingers.
The one before me I grasp, clutch,
"Heart, hold still; want, yet want not too much."
Yet the organ has bolted, its shadow lingers,
Wings flutter as it ascends,
To the one desired it attends.
She resigns, and repairs,
in feigned modesty the retreat is sounded.
Yet the heart pursues undaunted,
til at last at her feet it surrenders.
"Far have I flown, my wings weary,
in my wake a trail of missed longings train behind me".
Yet with a glance soft and teary
the withered heart recovers.
~ bukan arjuna tapi suryaputra (2010)
AHEM!!!! <-- as he would punctuate hehehehe...
stay sane,
j.amyemeelea
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mxkMlS2nuU8&ob=av2e <-- the song of course and promises of sweet dreams ;)
no one in their right mind could deny the strings that tug to the heart when listening to that song. with each pluck of the notes that accompany arie's soulful singing, it should move anyone to tears or at least bow humbly to such a simple request. of baring one's sentimentality....a need to be loved and love in return.
*sigh*
perspectives change over time yes? for now, mine has for better and for worse *YESSSAR!!* life never cease to teach us a thing or many. silence has spoken back to me like never before as i come face to face with words such as these :)
Then plant thy kisses upon my verdant field,
shower this dry plain with thy tender caresses;
Though this forlorn land none have tilled,
Its spring I find amidst thy tresses.
Tomorrow is a distant land,
Mine eyes, they see no further;
In blindness I reach out, touch, behold with trembling fingers.
The one before me I grasp, clutch,
"Heart, hold still; want, yet want not too much."
Yet the organ has bolted, its shadow lingers,
Wings flutter as it ascends,
To the one desired it attends.
She resigns, and repairs,
in feigned modesty the retreat is sounded.
Yet the heart pursues undaunted,
til at last at her feet it surrenders.
"Far have I flown, my wings weary,
in my wake a trail of missed longings train behind me".
Yet with a glance soft and teary
the withered heart recovers.
~ bukan arjuna tapi suryaputra (2010)
AHEM!!!! <-- as he would punctuate hehehehe...
stay sane,
j.amyemeelea
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mxkMlS2nuU8&ob=av2e <-- the song of course and promises of sweet dreams ;)
Saturday, October 23, 2010
to the opera we go!
i saw the advert or clip for Matah Ati at a glance on teevee...was I with lebabi? i think i was and already i knew i had to GO. budget didn't allow me to book a ticket earlier and of course the geng chose to watch amy search in concert instead. i drooled at the thoughts of attending the opera and read that its was doing its international debut at the esplande before going on tour to malaysia, berlin and elsewhere throughout 2011. if i didn't catch this then i have to wait till march in kuala lumpur :( bad enough i missed puteri gunung ledang so NO WAY was i going to miss this although....budget again was the question.
tickets were running out FAST and *cartwheels* happy happy joy joy! a wee bit of adjustment to pocket money (i survived on ciggs :p) enabled me to get catergory 2 ticket last night! it was end work day and i was restless. i had already planned to drop by to the big durian (the esplanade) to support kak5 aka wahyu and tom for their annual akustika show. i logged on to sistic BUT they told me i had to queue and buy at the boxoffice today. Apprenlty there are still 'some' available!!! i had to be quick. i was luckier still to be able to hitch a ride from che. hesherolls to tiong bahru and i knew the sistic outlet at raffles city will not be as crowded as the on at the durian. time check...630pm. i was early woohoo! and there was only 1 person ahead of me :D
show stats at 8pm and i'd be able to watch the first set of akustika too. with tickets in my pocket i took a slow walk towards the esplande. i saw signs leading towards the newly opened esplande mrt BUT i remembered an entry before about how misleading it was to have the esplanade mrt WAY OFF from the actual durian itself *hehe* i made my way back and bumped into wahyu!! :p she asked me if i was heading to watch the show akustika and i said yes PLUS i had ticket to matah atiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii *yeahoOOooooo*
i was entranced the whole 1 and half hours. no intermission and it made sense to go and pee first. as it is, i'm always dehyrated much more anyway. too bad i couldn't understand the javanese spoken but aren't all arias sung like exactly that? to me at least whose proficiency in malay have dwindled much to DIS-use and misuse *GUILTY!* there were short scripts at the start of each act to briefly explain the scenes but i read the opera's overview diligently while waiting for them to go on so even though the screens were much of a blur, i waited in anticipation for each scene to unfold. i was concious of my behaviour somewhat but couldn't care less as i swayed and gripped the edges of my seat as each character wrung thier emotions on stage. whther it was the soulfully rendered dialogue or stylistically modern interpertation of bedhoyo moves. needless to say, i didn't even want to blink in case i missed something out.
*pancits*
saturday was uneventful and sunday was spent lolling about in bed. wait! my cuzzie and his wife picked me up from work to have lunch and get to know each other *gulps* i didn't go to theier wedding but well it wsn't too late to offer my congrats. people get married for many reasons and observing them, it only solidified my stand to....wait as long as i want before getting hitched again. yes che. diambunuh, you have truly fucked me this time *arghhh!* or is this my own doing *hurhur* che. linmark came by to pick up the book 'the reader' and i added 'unbearable lightness of being' to her want list. i scared her lilttle cute daughter hehe but her sms later later that day confirmed my picks for her to be RIGHT. Yessaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrr...i do hope i don't muddle her too much :p
sunday later that night, due to rstlessness i went to where the 'turtlings hatched' and quietly shed away memories of amy. the way che. biSol drove amde me sick and i vomitted *bwahahahah* but HELL lar! you're lucky i didn't barf in the car anyway *tsk* of coure it couldn't have been mariam! >p and i'm NOT going to even consider you as housemate no matter what hokayyyyyyyyy...too.tOO.TOO...tired to put up any false fronts *hisssssss* so you're right, you should leave me alone :p
another thing...my Greader is not as synced at it is as i logged on at work :( some of the links and updates wonky! meaning updates are soOoooo different if i logged on from home. i could see a piece here then another there but they are not the same at all! *angeranger* yet, i am happy i managed to steal wee Internet time via bobby's *heheheh* which reminds me i have to get my passport, Internet working again PLUS emoley time all straighten out by this week. not to mention...IRAS to deal withhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...
new spot found on bintan! yeahoOOoooo...cheaper than tempat senang and could well be a new hiding place. too bad...i still have to share with YOU know WHO you are! but you're the best lar....judge me and hold me ransom for all you want *blowkish* i definitely need a rough bitchslap this time. gimme! gimme!!! gimme that 120mins of pure kneading bliss all over my body please and pummel each knot of distress out of my body. like...NOW! :(
Anyone whose goal is 'something higher' must expect someday to suffer vertigo. What is vertigo? Fear of falling? No, Vertigo is something other than fear of falling. It is the voice of the emptiness below us which tempts and lures us, it is the desire to fall, against which, terrified, we defend ourselves.
Milan Kundera, The Unbearable Lightness of Being
sheesh...i really need to blog and not ramble! >(
stay sane,
j.amyemeelea
ps: "please...call me Emeelea" *jelings* it WILL never be amie for ya BIATCH~! :p orh!!! make it for mr. BIATCH too...apparently he just ceased to be on my 'of value' list. bet the trip was filled with nightmares..welcome to HIS world *waves*
tickets were running out FAST and *cartwheels* happy happy joy joy! a wee bit of adjustment to pocket money (i survived on ciggs :p) enabled me to get catergory 2 ticket last night! it was end work day and i was restless. i had already planned to drop by to the big durian (the esplanade) to support kak5 aka wahyu and tom for their annual akustika show. i logged on to sistic BUT they told me i had to queue and buy at the boxoffice today. Apprenlty there are still 'some' available!!! i had to be quick. i was luckier still to be able to hitch a ride from che. hesherolls to tiong bahru and i knew the sistic outlet at raffles city will not be as crowded as the on at the durian. time check...630pm. i was early woohoo! and there was only 1 person ahead of me :D
show stats at 8pm and i'd be able to watch the first set of akustika too. with tickets in my pocket i took a slow walk towards the esplande. i saw signs leading towards the newly opened esplande mrt BUT i remembered an entry before about how misleading it was to have the esplanade mrt WAY OFF from the actual durian itself *hehe* i made my way back and bumped into wahyu!! :p she asked me if i was heading to watch the show akustika and i said yes PLUS i had ticket to matah atiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii *yeahoOOooooo*
i was entranced the whole 1 and half hours. no intermission and it made sense to go and pee first. as it is, i'm always dehyrated much more anyway. too bad i couldn't understand the javanese spoken but aren't all arias sung like exactly that? to me at least whose proficiency in malay have dwindled much to DIS-use and misuse *GUILTY!* there were short scripts at the start of each act to briefly explain the scenes but i read the opera's overview diligently while waiting for them to go on so even though the screens were much of a blur, i waited in anticipation for each scene to unfold. i was concious of my behaviour somewhat but couldn't care less as i swayed and gripped the edges of my seat as each character wrung thier emotions on stage. whther it was the soulfully rendered dialogue or stylistically modern interpertation of bedhoyo moves. needless to say, i didn't even want to blink in case i missed something out.
*pancits*
saturday was uneventful and sunday was spent lolling about in bed. wait! my cuzzie and his wife picked me up from work to have lunch and get to know each other *gulps* i didn't go to theier wedding but well it wsn't too late to offer my congrats. people get married for many reasons and observing them, it only solidified my stand to....wait as long as i want before getting hitched again. yes che. diambunuh, you have truly fucked me this time *arghhh!* or is this my own doing *hurhur* che. linmark came by to pick up the book 'the reader' and i added 'unbearable lightness of being' to her want list. i scared her lilttle cute daughter hehe but her sms later later that day confirmed my picks for her to be RIGHT. Yessaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrr...i do hope i don't muddle her too much :p
sunday later that night, due to rstlessness i went to where the 'turtlings hatched' and quietly shed away memories of amy. the way che. biSol drove amde me sick and i vomitted *bwahahahah* but HELL lar! you're lucky i didn't barf in the car anyway *tsk* of coure it couldn't have been mariam! >p and i'm NOT going to even consider you as housemate no matter what hokayyyyyyyyy...too.tOO.TOO...tired to put up any false fronts *hisssssss* so you're right, you should leave me alone :p
another thing...my Greader is not as synced at it is as i logged on at work :( some of the links and updates wonky! meaning updates are soOoooo different if i logged on from home. i could see a piece here then another there but they are not the same at all! *angeranger* yet, i am happy i managed to steal wee Internet time via bobby's *heheheh* which reminds me i have to get my passport, Internet working again PLUS emoley time all straighten out by this week. not to mention...IRAS to deal withhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...
new spot found on bintan! yeahoOOoooo...cheaper than tempat senang and could well be a new hiding place. too bad...i still have to share with YOU know WHO you are! but you're the best lar....judge me and hold me ransom for all you want *blowkish* i definitely need a rough bitchslap this time. gimme! gimme!!! gimme that 120mins of pure kneading bliss all over my body please and pummel each knot of distress out of my body. like...NOW! :(
Anyone whose goal is 'something higher' must expect someday to suffer vertigo. What is vertigo? Fear of falling? No, Vertigo is something other than fear of falling. It is the voice of the emptiness below us which tempts and lures us, it is the desire to fall, against which, terrified, we defend ourselves.
Milan Kundera, The Unbearable Lightness of Being
sheesh...i really need to blog and not ramble! >(
stay sane,
j.amyemeelea
ps: "please...call me Emeelea" *jelings* it WILL never be amie for ya BIATCH~! :p orh!!! make it for mr. BIATCH too...apparently he just ceased to be on my 'of value' list. bet the trip was filled with nightmares..welcome to HIS world *waves*
Monday, October 18, 2010
hate is baggage..
i finished the lost symbol and woah! what a ride it was....but must say, fiction is as fiction does. the impression it leaves wasn't as deep as i wanted it to be. although! it lead me to ars notoria.too bad internet connection is still out so am not able to do my extended nightly prowl over the world wide web and satiate ravenous need to read.
i've started on the reader by bernhard schlink. the gem of this paragraph stuck too close to home :-
"Why? Why does what was beautiful suddenly shatter in hindsight because it concealed dark truths? Why does the memory of years of happy marriage turn to gall when our partner is revealed to have had a lover all those years? Because such a situation makes it impossible to be happy? But we were happy! Sometimes the memory of happiness cannot stay true because it ended unhappily. Because happiness is only real if it lasts forever? Because things always end painfully if they contained pain, conscious or unconscious, all along? But what is unconscious, unrecognized pain? " ~ chapter 9, page 37.
last saturday after work i went over to lina's and chilled. i seriously do NOT enjoy karaoke but we did a round on thursday *blearghhh!* the things i do to cheer my friends ehk? thank god we didn't do any karaoke that saturday night but watched the movie Agora instead. there wasn't much i could have discussed with her but at least i got to watch it in full with no jams in between at her place. lapicits wasn't too kind on the dvd, and i really can't be bothered to hook up my tv and player. we walked from her place in sengkang to jalan kayu muahaha! and supper at mad jacks was nice. i got much more reaction from lina when we watched what happened in vegas? chick flicks *prrrft* what can i say? never fails to cheer the gals *notmetho* up hehe.
sunday made my way slowly back and i keep thinking about the terrors. it must be end of exams and i should be able to see them soon. i wasted time and watched american history x and THAT is my kinda movie. griity yet and emotional boiler...all the characters were finely tuned. racism...and any isms point out to a point of source. its really up to us to follow its trails and peek into our carried baggage. you either clean them out! or carry it with you...not without repercussions. no space for musings in emoley. once done i was off to meet mr. ted who drove by for a quickie. the work of facebook yet again! >p we touched base and merely caught up and rammed 20 years of absence in 2 hours. mr. ted is an ex colleague from my hotelier days. he hasn't change muhc except for his girth *lol* but still the same easy-going guy i know. just now...he's also severely spooked from getting hitched soon. who isn't??!
work is work and TADAH! terror 1 called today using a new number to ask if i could kidnap them this weekend :) she failed her maths and i was right again. the green eyed monster changed the home number so that i don't keep calling. i wonder when he's going to stop from being so fucking childish about our relationship. does he really think he can separate the kids from me? terror 1 made me promise NOT to call her but she will try he best to make the connection again yet 'no one' is around. and i told her don't worry about failing...she'd have another chance. most important is she tried her best and we'll have to pick through 'why' only when i get to see her. best kan ada mama terror macam nie? :p
besides trying to slot in time to hike up syariah courts anytime soon, i received a call from the IRAS *gasp* shitte! totally forgot i need to settle my taxes *gulps* and the iras guy told me he had to hunt me down via ms. panjang. ex boss *eeeeeeeeks* well, thats another to do to add on my list *pancits* my passport is STILL missing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so thats another to do.
house hunt wasn't too good. i made my way to amston and finally met the myanmar gals. supposedly gards from NUS and all of them singaporean PRs. i had a glimmer of hope. i'm sure i could settle down with the girls since they must be building a home far away from home right? after all the 9 years spent in singy? IT professionals it seems all of them. BUT!!! england standard way below even terror 3's. HOW CAN LAR SIAK! and beleive it or not...the home wasn't a home at all. it was like being transported to a village in myanmar when i stepped in. my last rented place in chai chee (which was DA GHETTO) was more livable. i found myself thinking this is the STANDARD of living for NUS grads and sporean prs?? ok..i know i shouldn't judge just by this 1 experience BUT makcow~!!! no wonder lar...many locals are angry. it truly seemed to me they were not here to make a HOME but more of taking advantage of our 'friendly to FTs' policy :(
i have to pay 800 rental not inclusive of utilities mind you! and also share cleaning expenses (err....you don't know how to clean ure own house ijit?) for a single room. the other 2 rooms are shared by 4 (FOUR FUCKING FOUR) gals. no smoking in my room too...and no guests coming over unless approved by the rest. which is only polite BUT...but but...forget it. nothing against you myanmarese but i cannot reconcile the fact that you made a nice condo into a communal village complete with grass mats in the living room.
fuck it.
i need to look for a tree or ship to johor!
*tskkkkkkkk* super annoyed but hey...mr. KFC to cheer me up today??
stay sane,
J@e
ps: may the GALL be with you che.diambunuh. can you please get out of my head already?! *pushkickkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkdebikdebikdebikssss* oops! Ohmm...i'm suppose to pray for GOOD instead :p
i've started on the reader by bernhard schlink. the gem of this paragraph stuck too close to home :-
"Why? Why does what was beautiful suddenly shatter in hindsight because it concealed dark truths? Why does the memory of years of happy marriage turn to gall when our partner is revealed to have had a lover all those years? Because such a situation makes it impossible to be happy? But we were happy! Sometimes the memory of happiness cannot stay true because it ended unhappily. Because happiness is only real if it lasts forever? Because things always end painfully if they contained pain, conscious or unconscious, all along? But what is unconscious, unrecognized pain? " ~ chapter 9, page 37.
last saturday after work i went over to lina's and chilled. i seriously do NOT enjoy karaoke but we did a round on thursday *blearghhh!* the things i do to cheer my friends ehk? thank god we didn't do any karaoke that saturday night but watched the movie Agora instead. there wasn't much i could have discussed with her but at least i got to watch it in full with no jams in between at her place. lapicits wasn't too kind on the dvd, and i really can't be bothered to hook up my tv and player. we walked from her place in sengkang to jalan kayu muahaha! and supper at mad jacks was nice. i got much more reaction from lina when we watched what happened in vegas? chick flicks *prrrft* what can i say? never fails to cheer the gals *notmetho* up hehe.
sunday made my way slowly back and i keep thinking about the terrors. it must be end of exams and i should be able to see them soon. i wasted time and watched american history x and THAT is my kinda movie. griity yet and emotional boiler...all the characters were finely tuned. racism...and any isms point out to a point of source. its really up to us to follow its trails and peek into our carried baggage. you either clean them out! or carry it with you...not without repercussions. no space for musings in emoley. once done i was off to meet mr. ted who drove by for a quickie. the work of facebook yet again! >p we touched base and merely caught up and rammed 20 years of absence in 2 hours. mr. ted is an ex colleague from my hotelier days. he hasn't change muhc except for his girth *lol* but still the same easy-going guy i know. just now...he's also severely spooked from getting hitched soon. who isn't??!
work is work and TADAH! terror 1 called today using a new number to ask if i could kidnap them this weekend :) she failed her maths and i was right again. the green eyed monster changed the home number so that i don't keep calling. i wonder when he's going to stop from being so fucking childish about our relationship. does he really think he can separate the kids from me? terror 1 made me promise NOT to call her but she will try he best to make the connection again yet 'no one' is around. and i told her don't worry about failing...she'd have another chance. most important is she tried her best and we'll have to pick through 'why' only when i get to see her. best kan ada mama terror macam nie? :p
besides trying to slot in time to hike up syariah courts anytime soon, i received a call from the IRAS *gasp* shitte! totally forgot i need to settle my taxes *gulps* and the iras guy told me he had to hunt me down via ms. panjang. ex boss *eeeeeeeeks* well, thats another to do to add on my list *pancits* my passport is STILL missing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so thats another to do.
house hunt wasn't too good. i made my way to amston and finally met the myanmar gals. supposedly gards from NUS and all of them singaporean PRs. i had a glimmer of hope. i'm sure i could settle down with the girls since they must be building a home far away from home right? after all the 9 years spent in singy? IT professionals it seems all of them. BUT!!! england standard way below even terror 3's. HOW CAN LAR SIAK! and beleive it or not...the home wasn't a home at all. it was like being transported to a village in myanmar when i stepped in. my last rented place in chai chee (which was DA GHETTO) was more livable. i found myself thinking this is the STANDARD of living for NUS grads and sporean prs?? ok..i know i shouldn't judge just by this 1 experience BUT makcow~!!! no wonder lar...many locals are angry. it truly seemed to me they were not here to make a HOME but more of taking advantage of our 'friendly to FTs' policy :(
i have to pay 800 rental not inclusive of utilities mind you! and also share cleaning expenses (err....you don't know how to clean ure own house ijit?) for a single room. the other 2 rooms are shared by 4 (FOUR FUCKING FOUR) gals. no smoking in my room too...and no guests coming over unless approved by the rest. which is only polite BUT...but but...forget it. nothing against you myanmarese but i cannot reconcile the fact that you made a nice condo into a communal village complete with grass mats in the living room.
fuck it.
i need to look for a tree or ship to johor!
*tskkkkkkkk* super annoyed but hey...mr. KFC to cheer me up today??
stay sane,
J@e
ps: may the GALL be with you che.diambunuh. can you please get out of my head already?! *pushkickkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkdebikdebikdebikssss* oops! Ohmm...i'm suppose to pray for GOOD instead :p
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
signal is OUT! *uwaaaaa*
there's something wrong with the starhub signal at home so lapicits is getting much needed rest. I cannot tap into the wireless in bobby's place (maybe they BLCOKED me!) due to mixed signals? or lapicits running 2 programmes at 1 go or something. BUT! all is not lost ebcause NOW, i could curl up with the loads of books i just received from makji aha :p 3 indonesian novels (i saw the movie for 1 title), The Lost symbols!!! *nosebeleed* and from my last treasure hunt The Reader. I've just started on the lost symbols and already racing past the pages. fine...i'd write too later tonight rather than dwell on my musings from 2005 *sigh*
ms. pinkfloyd gave birth to baby d already! just after the baby shower and we all trooped over to peek at the newborn. he weighs a wee 2.2kg and is the spitting image of danial *hurhurhur* it felt good to smell heaven! and we had a lot of laughs about how it must have been the suggee (read: she ate LOADS of it) that must have stirred baby d into a sugar high and made him rush out earlier than expected. baby d wasn't due till NOVEMBER :p
datin lindot then drove all of us to geylang for dinner because all of us where already shaking from hunger. we tried this new cafe which got featured in the latest lonely planet edition and guess who i met?! the ZEE LORD who shoots steroids eating at the cafe. he WORKS there!!!! *arggggggggh* he asked me why i haven't been returning his calls and such to which i just said "biasaler low profile." he came by the table to take our order and i introduced him around. he insulted me with a "i didn't know you have best friends?!" that's it, in my heart of hearts he was just asking for it *debik* i managed to stay civil because hey, i'm rooting for a discount *hurhur* here and IT IS a public place what! his waitress complimented me on my looks (the mullet hair is getting rave reviews apparently) so zee lord (monkey!!) asked me again for my number. best punchline evar was when he wanted to save my number and asked me "what did i call you before?" it was then i realised HE FORGOT MY NAME!
which was okay since i gave him the heave-ho waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay earlier. he stuck around to chit chat but the guys were good at ignoring the monkey so he kinda just lingered around. while i was EATING..he kept smsing me!!!!!!!!!!!!!! otey..last starw...i lost my appetite. the guys didn't rate the food NOR the ambience high. merely....average *ugh* i couldn't have agreed more and then on way back towards the car, they all asked me who the hell was the monkey. my only reply was "now you know why i don't go on dates". or rather kinda stopped for a while before i seriously go on a rampage *terbalekkantoilet*
datin wasn't feeling too well so we got off at yew tee and made our way home. ah! then lagik satu monyet kept on smsing distress messages of why why why why...wasn't i replying to his calls and all. err...ure MARRIED?! *pushkick* and i thought i made it very clear when i said "don't call me, I'll call you." end conversation fullstop! >( yeah i am liberal lar but please ehk...don't 'abuse' my liberalism. i could finally sleep without nitemares last night. it rained. zee lord monkey called me at 4am *WTF*thank god sleep was deep.
morning came and it was monyet 2 who had to keep calling and smsing me till i picked up and told him off. as nicely as i can to SHOVE OFF. lets be adult about this (i still din't tell him about his wifey problem) and you can hear my voice when we DO meet up soon. he kinda got the message and told me he just wanted to hear my voice lar and then baru bley buat kerja lar shitte. OMG!!! do you really think i'd fall for that? Its the HAIR i tell you!!! bobby hates it. i'm trying to grow into it! but god forbid i should be all sugar and spice just because it makes me look so KAWAII..sweet and demure *gag* well...looks can be deceiving i say!
too bad...i just need to grow it out OR yeaps...chop it off. hrmmm...not losing sleepover hair as i'm already sleep deprived.
till morrow...
stay sane,
j@e
ps: your sex problems are NOT mine largh!!!! unless your're brad pitt...lemme be your jolie *muehehehe*
ms. pinkfloyd gave birth to baby d already! just after the baby shower and we all trooped over to peek at the newborn. he weighs a wee 2.2kg and is the spitting image of danial *hurhurhur* it felt good to smell heaven! and we had a lot of laughs about how it must have been the suggee (read: she ate LOADS of it) that must have stirred baby d into a sugar high and made him rush out earlier than expected. baby d wasn't due till NOVEMBER :p
datin lindot then drove all of us to geylang for dinner because all of us where already shaking from hunger. we tried this new cafe which got featured in the latest lonely planet edition and guess who i met?! the ZEE LORD who shoots steroids eating at the cafe. he WORKS there!!!! *arggggggggh* he asked me why i haven't been returning his calls and such to which i just said "biasaler low profile." he came by the table to take our order and i introduced him around. he insulted me with a "i didn't know you have best friends?!" that's it, in my heart of hearts he was just asking for it *debik* i managed to stay civil because hey, i'm rooting for a discount *hurhur* here and IT IS a public place what! his waitress complimented me on my looks (the mullet hair is getting rave reviews apparently) so zee lord (monkey!!) asked me again for my number. best punchline evar was when he wanted to save my number and asked me "what did i call you before?" it was then i realised HE FORGOT MY NAME!
which was okay since i gave him the heave-ho waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay earlier. he stuck around to chit chat but the guys were good at ignoring the monkey so he kinda just lingered around. while i was EATING..he kept smsing me!!!!!!!!!!!!!! otey..last starw...i lost my appetite. the guys didn't rate the food NOR the ambience high. merely....average *ugh* i couldn't have agreed more and then on way back towards the car, they all asked me who the hell was the monkey. my only reply was "now you know why i don't go on dates". or rather kinda stopped for a while before i seriously go on a rampage *terbalekkantoilet*
datin wasn't feeling too well so we got off at yew tee and made our way home. ah! then lagik satu monyet kept on smsing distress messages of why why why why...wasn't i replying to his calls and all. err...ure MARRIED?! *pushkick* and i thought i made it very clear when i said "don't call me, I'll call you." end conversation fullstop! >( yeah i am liberal lar but please ehk...don't 'abuse' my liberalism. i could finally sleep without nitemares last night. it rained. zee lord monkey called me at 4am *WTF*thank god sleep was deep.
morning came and it was monyet 2 who had to keep calling and smsing me till i picked up and told him off. as nicely as i can to SHOVE OFF. lets be adult about this (i still din't tell him about his wifey problem) and you can hear my voice when we DO meet up soon. he kinda got the message and told me he just wanted to hear my voice lar and then baru bley buat kerja lar shitte. OMG!!! do you really think i'd fall for that? Its the HAIR i tell you!!! bobby hates it. i'm trying to grow into it! but god forbid i should be all sugar and spice just because it makes me look so KAWAII..sweet and demure *gag* well...looks can be deceiving i say!
too bad...i just need to grow it out OR yeaps...chop it off. hrmmm...not losing sleepover hair as i'm already sleep deprived.
till morrow...
stay sane,
j@e
ps: your sex problems are NOT mine largh!!!! unless your're brad pitt...lemme be your jolie *muehehehe*
Sunday, October 10, 2010
teng teng TEng teng TENG...
my hands disn't shake nor did i pass out from sheer shock as i saw you in maroon. visualisations work and bon vogage *salut* che. diambunuh :) please do not let me say i told you so in solace or worst as witnessed by someone else.
otey..seriously..did you know that its your solemnisation date that is the OFFICIAL date? *prfttttttttttttttttt* so gals...please check if you chose your date 'well' as intended ler *kuakuakuakua*
got back from the baby shower and rested watching movies. first it was mantra as recommended by ms. aha. its a horror movie made in malaysia. in che. pidomat's blog there were some comments about its bad cgi but ms. aha thought otherwise. i NEVER watched a horror movie ALONE. espescially one with local ghosts. no pontianaks, no pocongs...NO NO NO! but last night....i did. talk about facing your fears ehk? *saaaaaaaaaaaap* then i continued with lagenda budak setan. why? because its supposed to be *sobsob* chick flick. its an adaptation of the malaysian novelist Ahamadiat Akasha's book of the same title. Alas, youtube was coeperative so after episode i gave up and tried to sleep. che. shoo (macam nak dikasoskan jugak deknie) smsed and then called...by then i had just had enough of trashing about andfell into deep sleep.
ms. chelle..or rather the urgent sense to pee woke me up today. then i got ready to see ch. shoo. i cotinued with kasha's story. it was a chick flick. i got disturbed by the storyline. so i smsed che. shoo to cancel our date. he said 'its okay' in the most pitiful sms :p so i asked him outinstead for a movie???? what was i thinking right???? but i suspect...i'm gonna be like this for awhile. dishelveled, neurotic and a wee bit too trigger happy. but, surely....i'd come down fast to mellow mode soon enough. jahat4slalu just called to check up on me. we traded sex stories before she hushed me to sleep.afterall...its monday tomorrow.
i have loads to do and will need that break in kay el with datin E. expect pictures then. hopefully more of me being broken in need of a fix. coreection..
fixes.
orh! the weird thing is of all the 3 movies i watched. mantra, lagenda budak setan and reign of the assasins (GOOOOOOOD!) with che. shoo just now. it struck me how the recurring theme was jealousy, love and then revenge. PLUS! 2 out of 3 movies, involved plastic surgery!!!!
*blearghhhhhhhhhh* coincidence? am i thinking of what i am i really thinking? plastic surgery???????! me??! will i ever go down the knife ehk? to think of it..i might just do botox :p
stay sane,
jahatamyemeelea *lagikkenonengkOOOOmoi!*
ps: last bal forEVER *Amin* mula dengan langkah *ahems* thanks jahat4slalu...for the doas and also those precious tears you shed for me. truly....i wish for the very best in your impending nuptials *blowkish*
otey..seriously..did you know that its your solemnisation date that is the OFFICIAL date? *prfttttttttttttttttt* so gals...please check if you chose your date 'well' as intended ler *kuakuakuakua*
got back from the baby shower and rested watching movies. first it was mantra as recommended by ms. aha. its a horror movie made in malaysia. in che. pidomat's blog there were some comments about its bad cgi but ms. aha thought otherwise. i NEVER watched a horror movie ALONE. espescially one with local ghosts. no pontianaks, no pocongs...NO NO NO! but last night....i did. talk about facing your fears ehk? *saaaaaaaaaaaap* then i continued with lagenda budak setan. why? because its supposed to be *sobsob* chick flick. its an adaptation of the malaysian novelist Ahamadiat Akasha's book of the same title. Alas, youtube was coeperative so after episode i gave up and tried to sleep. che. shoo (macam nak dikasoskan jugak deknie) smsed and then called...by then i had just had enough of trashing about andfell into deep sleep.
ms. chelle..or rather the urgent sense to pee woke me up today. then i got ready to see ch. shoo. i cotinued with kasha's story. it was a chick flick. i got disturbed by the storyline. so i smsed che. shoo to cancel our date. he said 'its okay' in the most pitiful sms :p so i asked him outinstead for a movie???? what was i thinking right???? but i suspect...i'm gonna be like this for awhile. dishelveled, neurotic and a wee bit too trigger happy. but, surely....i'd come down fast to mellow mode soon enough. jahat4slalu just called to check up on me. we traded sex stories before she hushed me to sleep.afterall...its monday tomorrow.
i have loads to do and will need that break in kay el with datin E. expect pictures then. hopefully more of me being broken in need of a fix. coreection..
fixes.
orh! the weird thing is of all the 3 movies i watched. mantra, lagenda budak setan and reign of the assasins (GOOOOOOOD!) with che. shoo just now. it struck me how the recurring theme was jealousy, love and then revenge. PLUS! 2 out of 3 movies, involved plastic surgery!!!!
*blearghhhhhhhhhh* coincidence? am i thinking of what i am i really thinking? plastic surgery???????! me??! will i ever go down the knife ehk? to think of it..i might just do botox :p
stay sane,
jahatamyemeelea *lagikkenonengkOOOOmoi!*
ps: last bal forEVER *Amin* mula dengan langkah *ahems* thanks jahat4slalu...for the doas and also those precious tears you shed for me. truly....i wish for the very best in your impending nuptials *blowkish*
Sunday, September 26, 2010
misrepresented truth..
what's the point of goodbyes when you only want to justify why?
that's why goodbyes are hard innit? nothing you could say or do will be able to change that goodbye. you agreed to its truth but yet why still hanker for another goodbye to say so long, tata...laters...see you when i see you.
whats the point of saying the truth when the truth is another lie? truthful words are beautiful, beautiful words are not truthful. ah the irony and the double edged tinge beauty of opposites!
seal it with a K.I.S.S *waves*
my lastest stab at keeping it simple sie. chediambunuh.
i may not be simple, balanced neither will i be plain *hurhurhur* because i am JUST as I AM. you have made it very, very CLEAR where, what, what, why and WHO it is you want HER to be.
and it is NOT me.
it will NEVER be me.
...my past is too incriminating for your FUTURE. so my prayers is for you to be safe and stay sane with your :
she who is ONLY beautiful in your eyes
has the balanced qualities that YOU seek
understands NOT TO ASK questions
holds the virgin KEY to your need of progeny
action SIMPLY to your needs
in AWE of who you are and hopeful of who you will be
lastly...
altruistic by YOUR ACCOUNTS...
there...that's perfection by your so high expectations ;)
ps: honestly and faithfully will be here as promised, nothing more nothing less as and when NEEDED.
pps: you're sacked dear axed >p at least i have the courage to ask 'sampai biler'.
that's why goodbyes are hard innit? nothing you could say or do will be able to change that goodbye. you agreed to its truth but yet why still hanker for another goodbye to say so long, tata...laters...see you when i see you.
whats the point of saying the truth when the truth is another lie? truthful words are beautiful, beautiful words are not truthful. ah the irony and the double edged tinge beauty of opposites!
seal it with a K.I.S.S *waves*
my lastest stab at keeping it simple sie. chediambunuh.
i may not be simple, balanced neither will i be plain *hurhurhur* because i am JUST as I AM. you have made it very, very CLEAR where, what, what, why and WHO it is you want HER to be.
and it is NOT me.
it will NEVER be me.
...my past is too incriminating for your FUTURE. so my prayers is for you to be safe and stay sane with your :
she who is ONLY beautiful in your eyes
has the balanced qualities that YOU seek
understands NOT TO ASK questions
holds the virgin KEY to your need of progeny
action SIMPLY to your needs
in AWE of who you are and hopeful of who you will be
lastly...
altruistic by YOUR ACCOUNTS...
there...that's perfection by your so high expectations ;)
ps: honestly and faithfully will be here as promised, nothing more nothing less as and when NEEDED.
pps: you're sacked dear axed >p at least i have the courage to ask 'sampai biler'.
Monday, September 20, 2010
Another Great Monday~
i survived my first agm today *phew* and now still working off the effects of redbull, 3 cups of coffee and a 'few' fags in between. and OF ALL the days..i forgot to pack in perfume..not that i stink but my armpits were WET yoho! and have always been a concious smoker while on duty. you really don't want to be smelling of ash when sitting down with *ahems* peeps that sign your paycheck *hurhurhur*
meeting ended just before 830pm and the bus ride home was sans music and words. my brains were frazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzled! currently ripping the 3 cds lent to me by che.dol and empod will be stuffed with rocking new sounds. ungu will still be there and maybe if they still fit in my teeny empod, i could still hang on to ekan tracks featuring songs from bubbledays of doom :) so tracks from one giant leap and some lenny kravits, cranberries, sade and georgie mickey could still be songs of choice for lull-brainwaves moments.
the bestest thing about weekend was meeting the terrors. yeah, they had to follow me to work even on sunday where i played the role of cleaner cum pacifier mediator to 2 residents and had to forcefully leave me alone to chill before we went on our raya rounds BUT....
all is good when i see this peekture. how they have grown aye?
weekend for moi starts TOMORROW! :p
stay sane,
j.amyemeelea
ps: cepat masok ah pengundang mariammmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!
Saturday, September 18, 2010
to whom it may concern the last 17th
"I am much too alone in this world, yet not alone
enough
to truly consecrate the hour.
I am much too small in this world, yet not small
enough
to be to you just object and thing,
dark and smart.
I want my free will and want it accompanying
the path which leads to action;
and want during times that beg questions,
where something is up,
to be among those in the know,
or else be alone.""
~~ Rainer Maria Rilke,
I Am Much Too Alone in This World, Yet Not Alone, st. 1
(as translated by Annemarie S. Kidder)
i cannot answer your questions simply enough (cos i am complicated remember). now skip along and don't ask me anymore. we've had enough suka-suka moments to last a lifetime right? so run along now...and remember...
...the keyword is,
NEED.
best regards,
yayang~
ps: strains of annie lennox "no more i love yous" paling best accompany above :)
enough
to truly consecrate the hour.
I am much too small in this world, yet not small
enough
to be to you just object and thing,
dark and smart.
I want my free will and want it accompanying
the path which leads to action;
and want during times that beg questions,
where something is up,
to be among those in the know,
or else be alone.""
~~ Rainer Maria Rilke,
I Am Much Too Alone in This World, Yet Not Alone, st. 1
(as translated by Annemarie S. Kidder)
i cannot answer your questions simply enough (cos i am complicated remember). now skip along and don't ask me anymore. we've had enough suka-suka moments to last a lifetime right? so run along now...and remember...
...the keyword is,
NEED.
best regards,
yayang~
ps: strains of annie lennox "no more i love yous" paling best accompany above :)
Thursday, September 09, 2010
Salam Lebaran, Eidulfitri and Hari Raya..
eversince mama died, my hari rayas have been of broken tradtions and the scrambling of order. my recent of the happy family (complete with car, cash and keeping up with the joneses suspenders) hari raya moments must be those when i was a wife. i got to cook, clean and also decorate much like every mrs out there. always happy to make all the encessary arrangements to have the house and its immediate members are ready to welcome the rest of the family. could be deadly when including extended members.
before that i will be found working. at least i had bobi with me those hotelier days :) we'd be at work and the 1st takbir we hear will be cming from the mosque Al-Falah next door. i think its usual to find the older, unfortunately single (for whatever reasons) to be found working as well. but rare to have 'young' (late teens for both of us) pair of orpahns working. so we became pretty popular :p
i've had also woken up alone in the very recent past. these past few years, the look of anticipation for hari raya has fh. i usually sleep in :) before maybe painting the town red with whoever is available. yet....i swear i've never felt so alone today, almost choking on my pent up tears. my eyes sting while i fought back teras and my face cracked a painful smile. i was eating sambal goreng pegantin, a goodie mix of beefy offal *lol* in chilli paste laced with spices and coconut milk. on the side i scooped a healthy portion of serunding which is fried ground coconut, fragrantly fried dry to perfection with a mixture of spices and also bits of meat *yums* plus...to mash everything together we had the softest lontong evar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
all the while i felt so fake.
towards the end of thier conversations, while i look on and concentrate of food, we came upon the tpic of cleaning. i already had in mind to help and even asked way last wekk if there should be anything he wants me to help with. to which i never had a reply till....just now *badabing* where bobi rattled to proclaim my share of to do. i let him go on and take in the feel of inflated ego. he doesn't get to impress so often (maybe too often i feel) that he felt so freely to remind me of washing the toilet and mop the floors. i just got off the phone with bobi. at least we agreed that the stuff he buys to clean shall be 'nice smelling'.
*sigh* this is depressing.
but i'm doing well so far. they will be back so detergent for the toilet floors which are now soaking with bleach. i always do it the old school way for dumping on all and swipping off slowly. confirm got peeled of skin but it shall be worth it. this ill be my last raya here. i have it all together to go through it and refuse all sympathy. i still can't say if it has any meaning for me anymore. at the very least i will say my thanks for my grace this eidulfitri whose soon to be a stranger to boot. for you ensured i paid my zakat this year just in the nick of time *sniff* there you go sir. tubitot, my salutations and farewell this hari raya! may we never exchange Salam lebarans hereinafter.
why?
to arrive at destiny is to start at the very begining..
i cannot remember where i read that. to anon (or shall i take the credit :p) my apologies. it doesn't make sense you say but i believe somethings are best left unspoken....till never. ideally. i won't hope for you to understand but as you beleive. i'm complicated.
everyoneis deliciously simple.
salam eid all. forgive me of all, please.
stay sane,
j.amyemeelea
before that i will be found working. at least i had bobi with me those hotelier days :) we'd be at work and the 1st takbir we hear will be cming from the mosque Al-Falah next door. i think its usual to find the older, unfortunately single (for whatever reasons) to be found working as well. but rare to have 'young' (late teens for both of us) pair of orpahns working. so we became pretty popular :p
i've had also woken up alone in the very recent past. these past few years, the look of anticipation for hari raya has fh. i usually sleep in :) before maybe painting the town red with whoever is available. yet....i swear i've never felt so alone today, almost choking on my pent up tears. my eyes sting while i fought back teras and my face cracked a painful smile. i was eating sambal goreng pegantin, a goodie mix of beefy offal *lol* in chilli paste laced with spices and coconut milk. on the side i scooped a healthy portion of serunding which is fried ground coconut, fragrantly fried dry to perfection with a mixture of spices and also bits of meat *yums* plus...to mash everything together we had the softest lontong evar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
all the while i felt so fake.
towards the end of thier conversations, while i look on and concentrate of food, we came upon the tpic of cleaning. i already had in mind to help and even asked way last wekk if there should be anything he wants me to help with. to which i never had a reply till....just now *badabing* where bobi rattled to proclaim my share of to do. i let him go on and take in the feel of inflated ego. he doesn't get to impress so often (maybe too often i feel) that he felt so freely to remind me of washing the toilet and mop the floors. i just got off the phone with bobi. at least we agreed that the stuff he buys to clean shall be 'nice smelling'.
*sigh* this is depressing.
but i'm doing well so far. they will be back so detergent for the toilet floors which are now soaking with bleach. i always do it the old school way for dumping on all and swipping off slowly. confirm got peeled of skin but it shall be worth it. this ill be my last raya here. i have it all together to go through it and refuse all sympathy. i still can't say if it has any meaning for me anymore. at the very least i will say my thanks for my grace this eidulfitri whose soon to be a stranger to boot. for you ensured i paid my zakat this year just in the nick of time *sniff* there you go sir. tubitot, my salutations and farewell this hari raya! may we never exchange Salam lebarans hereinafter.
why?
to arrive at destiny is to start at the very begining..
i cannot remember where i read that. to anon (or shall i take the credit :p) my apologies. it doesn't make sense you say but i believe somethings are best left unspoken....till never. ideally. i won't hope for you to understand but as you beleive. i'm complicated.
everyoneis deliciously simple.
salam eid all. forgive me of all, please.
stay sane,
j.amyemeelea
Tuesday, September 07, 2010
break! 20 questions
1) i just noticed that the fbt shorts we all favor look like those short shorts that apeks like to wear! *muahahaha*
2) yes, i do look like demi moore (asian version ijit?) *lol* but can you tell me which movie please? :p maybe not striptease BUT charlie's angel? wah! that one..me likeys..
3) before i read dan brown (book loaned to me by the unkel selling kopi at tg pagar market), i am into umberto eco *nyeh* i have the name of the rose, foucault's pendulum and baudolino that you can borrow.
4) good intentions do not cancel out bad actions \m/
5) the ex boss stays where i work and he cramps up when he sees me >) i think its guilt for laying me off or the fact that he still believes i'm incompetent..a good looking one *lol*
6) the indian caste system is alive and thriving in singapore as recently witnessed by myself! *ugh!angeranger*
7) i like new words. NEW words are being made up EVERYDAY so quit pushing the dictionary over to me. FINE! no new words during scrabble.
8) a-MUSE me please, i'm quite jaded. didn't laugh much during despicable me
9) so? i read a lot and smoke a hell lot more, and yes my terrors (read: my kids) know of my habits. i.do.not.hide.to.smoke. *prrft*
9a) unless requested..i'm nice wot!
10) i have a major crush on dr. farish noor (for now :p). saw him at a recent book thingy AND first i tried to CUT his queue then upon realising that it IS truly him : hello/intro was "i should have brought your book for a signature!" *arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh* no...i didn't get a response *sigh* just a weird look and lots of head shaking *likeduh*
11) some spoke to me just ONCE (otey..a few times) way back in school BUT requested to add them on facebook. told ya its a weird place. BEST for people watching \m/
12) i indulge my solipsist side much more often nowsadays, out of POLITENESS obviously *geddit?*
13) please!!!! let HIM *akafarishnoor* accept me on facebook so that i could read his notes *sob* -------------- YESH!! he did woohoo!!! i'm reading his notes *nosebleed*
14) *dehemit! no lola no more~ but i still have "pah~" *romoshromosh* that lola is one shexay being :) ----------------- woohoo!~ lola just did a backflip and i'm estatic *fornow*
15) i've got 5 more questions to go and i was typing this from yesterday.
16) half dayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy today!!! which means i have to do cleaning for eid festivities? i wonder if i will get to go geylang tonight.
17) i just remembered i need to send all the terrors new clothes for eid to the be altered! mine included. adus...peh malas nyer.
18) if i don't get to eat lontong, ketupat and lodeh tomorrow...at least i'd be having japanese in the evening *hurhurhurhur*
19) i've started to shorthand my text even while writing and i'm worried that i cannot seem to be able to read my scribbles after sometime.
20) otey...i'm just stumped and don't want this entry to backlog in my draft tray :P
stay sane,
laters........
j@e
2) yes, i do look like demi moore (asian version ijit?) *lol* but can you tell me which movie please? :p maybe not striptease BUT charlie's angel? wah! that one..me likeys..
3) before i read dan brown (book loaned to me by the unkel selling kopi at tg pagar market), i am into umberto eco *nyeh* i have the name of the rose, foucault's pendulum and baudolino that you can borrow.
4) good intentions do not cancel out bad actions \m/
5) the ex boss stays where i work and he cramps up when he sees me >) i think its guilt for laying me off or the fact that he still believes i'm incompetent..a good looking one *lol*
6) the indian caste system is alive and thriving in singapore as recently witnessed by myself! *ugh!angeranger*
7) i like new words. NEW words are being made up EVERYDAY so quit pushing the dictionary over to me. FINE! no new words during scrabble.
8) a-MUSE me please, i'm quite jaded. didn't laugh much during despicable me
9) so? i read a lot and smoke a hell lot more, and yes my terrors (read: my kids) know of my habits. i.do.not.hide.to.smoke. *prrft*
9a) unless requested..i'm nice wot!
10) i have a major crush on dr. farish noor (for now :p). saw him at a recent book thingy AND first i tried to CUT his queue then upon realising that it IS truly him : hello/intro was "i should have brought your book for a signature!" *arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh* no...i didn't get a response *sigh* just a weird look and lots of head shaking *likeduh*
11) some spoke to me just ONCE (otey..a few times) way back in school BUT requested to add them on facebook. told ya its a weird place. BEST for people watching \m/
12) i indulge my solipsist side much more often nowsadays, out of POLITENESS obviously *geddit?*
13) please!!!! let HIM *akafarishnoor* accept me on facebook so that i could read his notes *sob* -------------- YESH!! he did woohoo!!! i'm reading his notes *nosebleed*
14) *dehemit! no lola no more~ but i still have "pah~" *romoshromosh* that lola is one shexay being :) ----------------- woohoo!~ lola just did a backflip and i'm estatic *fornow*
15) i've got 5 more questions to go and i was typing this from yesterday.
16) half dayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy today!!! which means i have to do cleaning for eid festivities? i wonder if i will get to go geylang tonight.
17) i just remembered i need to send all the terrors new clothes for eid to the be altered! mine included. adus...peh malas nyer.
18) if i don't get to eat lontong, ketupat and lodeh tomorrow...at least i'd be having japanese in the evening *hurhurhurhur*
19) i've started to shorthand my text even while writing and i'm worried that i cannot seem to be able to read my scribbles after sometime.
20) otey...i'm just stumped and don't want this entry to backlog in my draft tray :P
stay sane,
laters........
j@e
Thursday, September 02, 2010
its a LONG weekend!...soon that is
i woke up late today. very late. but!! i had to go to the bank so i had a legitimate reason *coughcough* to stroll in much later than usual. bank trip went well but was quite surprised i coldn't do cash deposits into dbs via posbank? are they not borther and sister ah?
instead of tunes from empod, i dragged a book along today. its radiohead & philosophy. i spied tags already in my half read book but i didn't think i finished it at all. che.diambunuh started me heavy on radiohead and i kinda got hooked. powwsters ahd a thing for thom yorke *hurhur* and i knew of his voice which pulls you into trajectory dimensions from her past pokes. besides, i was da damn grunge posuer lerr who thought CREEP was damn pengsi before i pledge more allegience to the written word before songs. i think its her birthday looming (or past)hence i miss her. over lunch *jelings* i told che. diambunuh a wee gist of the topics discussed in the book. the themes, music progression..thier show of 'art'. listening to them, i too could feel the loss, despair, alienation, anger and more often tumulous anxiety.
really, i'm trying to stay away from UNGU :p
after this weekend, i could cross out che. swede. he's settling in perfectly and who would have thought....he's doing a PHD (yes..permanent head damage) in 'neural' pyschology at NTU *gasppppppppppppp* he was soooOooo hesitant to tell me and he actually gulped visibly when he had to fess up :p che. jahat4slalu and che. jahat4sekejap tagged along but were major distractions throughout. they chattered in tongues and laughed a lot but i got my fun too at thier expense right afters *hehe* jahat4sekejap is obviously degsinated driver. her inate sense of direction can still manage to amaze me at times. so we gals rocked for a bit more before calling it a night.
che. quetee invited me over anytime to grab stuff and i'm holding on to che. hiphopcina's book. looks like quetee wins this round due to his travel commitments and i should have bought that damn book that he wants when it was on OFFER at borders *chets* now i'd have to face him empty handed? *bleargh* i'm still planning my exit for this one *gulps* and i truly hope i don't trip on my feet. WHY?! do you make me feel like this?!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm supposed to feel cool, detached and aloft..yet....there is something about quetee that i can't quite place. mengidam ke sayer? *muahahahaha*
then of course i got to see the terrors last weekend too. we spent the day in geylang to buy raya stuffs. new cothes, shoes, acessories and whatever took our flight and fancy (within budget!) i couldn't help go slightly OVER but mama terror is content. at least this year we'd still be mismatched somewhat yet reek a bit of the 'curtain fashion' that afflicts ALL our fashion sense during eid festivities in singapore. families here like to dress all of the same color and fabric (economical wot~!) so we kinda got sucked in too *hehehe* its green and blues, shots of pink here and there with a clash of malay and indian influences.
otey lar, simply...terror 2 and 3 got to wear the malay kurungs but terror 1 and mama terror opt to go INDIAN and wear coli-kutas? (alar..punjabi suits!) this year. terror 1 insists she wants to wear pants so OFF da rack~..thats what you get. no such thing as baju kurung pakai seluar ler. where got jalan! well, we at least managed to find a compromise. i am not sure why this year everyone seems to wants to turn me into a kawaii-doe-eyedpwinncess ah! the kids chose this very LIGHT colors for my set. yar i know, i didn't have to go with thier taste BUT...i was already getting a huge headache with all the crowd, hunger and also color choices. if its not purple or black..then i won't care lar whatever color it is then. as long as everyone can get along aye?
sent them back and now regurgitating my thoughts. i could sense emoley's loneliness from lack of attention but i can't deny my frazzled nerves. i haven't been able to scribble much. maybe AFTER eid :p but my househunt is taking a back seat too this week *dehemit* so expect me to go riding high next week mabuk on rendang or everything equally sinful before i force myself into perspectives again.
stay sane,
j@e
instead of tunes from empod, i dragged a book along today. its radiohead & philosophy. i spied tags already in my half read book but i didn't think i finished it at all. che.diambunuh started me heavy on radiohead and i kinda got hooked. powwsters ahd a thing for thom yorke *hurhur* and i knew of his voice which pulls you into trajectory dimensions from her past pokes. besides, i was da damn grunge posuer lerr who thought CREEP was damn pengsi before i pledge more allegience to the written word before songs. i think its her birthday looming (or past)hence i miss her. over lunch *jelings* i told che. diambunuh a wee gist of the topics discussed in the book. the themes, music progression..thier show of 'art'. listening to them, i too could feel the loss, despair, alienation, anger and more often tumulous anxiety.
really, i'm trying to stay away from UNGU :p
after this weekend, i could cross out che. swede. he's settling in perfectly and who would have thought....he's doing a PHD (yes..permanent head damage) in 'neural' pyschology at NTU *gasppppppppppppp* he was soooOooo hesitant to tell me and he actually gulped visibly when he had to fess up :p che. jahat4slalu and che. jahat4sekejap tagged along but were major distractions throughout. they chattered in tongues and laughed a lot but i got my fun too at thier expense right afters *hehe* jahat4sekejap is obviously degsinated driver. her inate sense of direction can still manage to amaze me at times. so we gals rocked for a bit more before calling it a night.
che. quetee invited me over anytime to grab stuff and i'm holding on to che. hiphopcina's book. looks like quetee wins this round due to his travel commitments and i should have bought that damn book that he wants when it was on OFFER at borders *chets* now i'd have to face him empty handed? *bleargh* i'm still planning my exit for this one *gulps* and i truly hope i don't trip on my feet. WHY?! do you make me feel like this?!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm supposed to feel cool, detached and aloft..yet....there is something about quetee that i can't quite place. mengidam ke sayer? *muahahahaha*
then of course i got to see the terrors last weekend too. we spent the day in geylang to buy raya stuffs. new cothes, shoes, acessories and whatever took our flight and fancy (within budget!) i couldn't help go slightly OVER but mama terror is content. at least this year we'd still be mismatched somewhat yet reek a bit of the 'curtain fashion' that afflicts ALL our fashion sense during eid festivities in singapore. families here like to dress all of the same color and fabric (economical wot~!) so we kinda got sucked in too *hehehe* its green and blues, shots of pink here and there with a clash of malay and indian influences.
otey lar, simply...terror 2 and 3 got to wear the malay kurungs but terror 1 and mama terror opt to go INDIAN and wear coli-kutas? (alar..punjabi suits!) this year. terror 1 insists she wants to wear pants so OFF da rack~..thats what you get. no such thing as baju kurung pakai seluar ler. where got jalan! well, we at least managed to find a compromise. i am not sure why this year everyone seems to wants to turn me into a kawaii-doe-eyedpwinncess ah! the kids chose this very LIGHT colors for my set. yar i know, i didn't have to go with thier taste BUT...i was already getting a huge headache with all the crowd, hunger and also color choices. if its not purple or black..then i won't care lar whatever color it is then. as long as everyone can get along aye?
sent them back and now regurgitating my thoughts. i could sense emoley's loneliness from lack of attention but i can't deny my frazzled nerves. i haven't been able to scribble much. maybe AFTER eid :p but my househunt is taking a back seat too this week *dehemit* so expect me to go riding high next week mabuk on rendang or everything equally sinful before i force myself into perspectives again.
stay sane,
j@e
Sunday, August 29, 2010
maintaining real neutrality..
my mind connects neutrality with the pros of neutering. of animals..of gender...its to maintain a position of 'nothingness'.
or rather will it be of perpetual 'sitting on the fence' position? what a balancing act that must be right? and i detest hard work :p
so i tried cleaning up and tinker with the privacy functions of facebook till i GAVE up. i find it easier to act of extremes. either i want you 'off' or 'on' the bandwagon. rumminations in facebook caused by the insistence of che. quetee actualy who demands that i 'facebook' rather than work email. he's touchy about connecting there. i noted he re-added me with usual 'restrictions' *blearghhhhhhhhhh* but for the love of my precious *lightercase*, i humbly *NOTTTTTTTTT* placed him under 2 lists. both non favourable to say the least but it just so happens, my facebook prefers the chaos. i minded for a little while, bent on enforcing 'taste' to mere Faustus facade before i got tired of pretentiousness coming from myself.
so i merely let it be.
i see more peeks (total 23? or was it 24??!) of late and *bows* i am truly curiosest now *grins* kindly excuse melati's rants and over pouring of hearts lamest hurts. she's being melodramatic experimenting with malay as her lingual franca. besides, i hear the lament of che.pidomat whose having a lot of trouble with flipping through the dictionary to understand my current spews? *lol* so...hopefully over the next 10 nights will come clarity ehk?
i'm downloading ufc 118 while typing this. nursing a snotty nose full with green bullets of smuck. yet, i just finished a nice slim 'BAAL' of winner :p mariam says hi! while aunty rose bids goodbye *waves* me pretty chilling to the point that, i might just go for a 'date' with che.supercop ehk? *wailsssssssssssssssss* or really, i would like to cuddle up in my den and entertain thoughts of......
E-N-J-O-T-S-U~~~~~
my oh my~~ how maliciously intertwined the double entente above rolls to be one...
but unbearably intolerant i am to sharing, it shall always and forever be mine. of my dreams alone. which obviously include ALL acts of my understanding. MINE ONLY.
*puurrrr*
kapish~...salam kenonengs *hiccs*
j.amyemeelea
ps: jelita. janda. jorok. jahat. jangan. jenuh. jering. what have yous...
asummptions have always been just labels..you sort them ok?
or rather will it be of perpetual 'sitting on the fence' position? what a balancing act that must be right? and i detest hard work :p
so i tried cleaning up and tinker with the privacy functions of facebook till i GAVE up. i find it easier to act of extremes. either i want you 'off' or 'on' the bandwagon. rumminations in facebook caused by the insistence of che. quetee actualy who demands that i 'facebook' rather than work email. he's touchy about connecting there. i noted he re-added me with usual 'restrictions' *blearghhhhhhhhhh* but for the love of my precious *lightercase*, i humbly *NOTTTTTTTTT* placed him under 2 lists. both non favourable to say the least but it just so happens, my facebook prefers the chaos. i minded for a little while, bent on enforcing 'taste' to mere Faustus facade before i got tired of pretentiousness coming from myself.
so i merely let it be.
i see more peeks (total 23? or was it 24??!) of late and *bows* i am truly curiosest now *grins* kindly excuse melati's rants and over pouring of hearts lamest hurts. she's being melodramatic experimenting with malay as her lingual franca. besides, i hear the lament of che.pidomat whose having a lot of trouble with flipping through the dictionary to understand my current spews? *lol* so...hopefully over the next 10 nights will come clarity ehk?
i'm downloading ufc 118 while typing this. nursing a snotty nose full with green bullets of smuck. yet, i just finished a nice slim 'BAAL' of winner :p mariam says hi! while aunty rose bids goodbye *waves* me pretty chilling to the point that, i might just go for a 'date' with che.supercop ehk? *wailsssssssssssssssss* or really, i would like to cuddle up in my den and entertain thoughts of......
E-N-J-O-T-S-U~~~~~
my oh my~~ how maliciously intertwined the double entente above rolls to be one...
but unbearably intolerant i am to sharing, it shall always and forever be mine. of my dreams alone. which obviously include ALL acts of my understanding. MINE ONLY.
*puurrrr*
kapish~...salam kenonengs *hiccs*
j.amyemeelea
ps: jelita. janda. jorok. jahat. jangan. jenuh. jering. what have yous...
asummptions have always been just labels..you sort them ok?
scribd! no not the webbie ler..
Bahtera berlalu dibawa arus menuju baru
Perahu membawa seribu impian dan harapan
Disimpan teliti moga sampai ke hujung mudik
Lakar satu bakal memahami selari nadi
Bersama teguh taat pada yang Satu
Dimula janji titik noktah terus setia
Intipati hati tak rela dicurangi
Lautan diselam dalam yang paling pasti
Urusan kasih terpatri, sayang yang tidak tertanding peri
.....
Berlayarlah bahtera harapan sang bidadari
Menuju nun jauh sarat berat peluh segala simpanan
Air yang tenang lagi tampan dipandang
Dikocak sang buaya berdamping dikelopak titis airmata
Dilayar sang bayu membawa cuit baur nan hangit
Berlalu waktu agak lekang jenuh putus harapan
Hati berdegup tak puas dengan hanya desiran impian
Sampai nanti ke hujung mudik sergah singgahsana sang raja
Paksa mampu si bidadari pada tiada yang pasti,
..........
Tetap menadah syukur diberi nakhoda, janji sehidup semati
yang kehilangan,
melati
Perahu membawa seribu impian dan harapan
Disimpan teliti moga sampai ke hujung mudik
Lakar satu bakal memahami selari nadi
Bersama teguh taat pada yang Satu
Dimula janji titik noktah terus setia
Intipati hati tak rela dicurangi
Lautan diselam dalam yang paling pasti
Urusan kasih terpatri, sayang yang tidak tertanding peri
.....
Berlayarlah bahtera harapan sang bidadari
Menuju nun jauh sarat berat peluh segala simpanan
Air yang tenang lagi tampan dipandang
Dikocak sang buaya berdamping dikelopak titis airmata
Dilayar sang bayu membawa cuit baur nan hangit
Berlalu waktu agak lekang jenuh putus harapan
Hati berdegup tak puas dengan hanya desiran impian
Sampai nanti ke hujung mudik sergah singgahsana sang raja
Paksa mampu si bidadari pada tiada yang pasti,
..........
Tetap menadah syukur diberi nakhoda, janji sehidup semati
yang kehilangan,
melati
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